Are monsters good at math

Only if you count Dracula

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tjeters
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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Two monsters were at a party having a good time when one of them noticed a lady monster rolled her eyes at them. The monster asked his monster friend "what should I do?"

The other other monster replied "be a gentleman, roll them back to her."

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๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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[Monster] I got both of the boys last night, said good night and then I told them "don't move, stay very still" I dove to the floor reaching under the bed and pulled out a monster energy drink and told them there was a Monster under their bed.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/alleyrat66
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 24 2018
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For math lovers and others to
  1. Why was the fraction apprehensive about marrying the decimal? Because he would have to convert.

  2. Why do plants hate math? It gives them square roots.

  3. Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average? It was a mean thing to say!

  4. Why was the math book depressed? It had a lot of problems.

  5. Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated? Because it is never right.

  6. Why can you never trust a math teacher holding graphing paper? Heย must be plotting something.

  7. Why was the equal sign so humble? Because she knew she wasnโ€™t greater than or less than anyone else.

  8. What do you call the number 7 and the number 3 when they go out on a date? The odd couple

  9. What do you call a number that canโ€™t stay in one place? A Roaminโ€™ numeral.

  10. Did you hear the one about the statistician? Probably.

  11. What do you call dudes who love math? Algebros.

  12. Iโ€™ll do algebra, Iโ€™ll do trig. Iโ€™ll even do statistics. But graphing is where I draw the line!

  13. Why should you never talk to Pi? Because sheโ€™ll go on and on and on forever.

  14. Why are parallel lines so tragic if they have so much in common? Itโ€™s a shame theyโ€™ll never meet.

  15. Are monsters good at math? Not unless you Count Dracula.

  16. Whatโ€™s the best way to flirt with a math teacher? Use acute angle.

  17. Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers? Theyโ€™d stop at nothing to avoid them.

  18. How do you stay warm in any room? Just huddle in the corner, where itโ€™s always 90 degrees.

  19. Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight ("ate") nine!

  20. Why DID seven eat nine? Because youโ€™re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!

  21. Why does nobody talk to circles? Because there is no point.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/InvestWithArihant
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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My wife's making cookies right now.

I'm really proud of this one.

I'm at my desk while my wife's baking cookies in the kitchen, just around the corner. I heard a metallic snapping sound followed shortly by an โ€œOh no!โ€, so I called out:

> "What's wrong?"

> โ€œI broke my whisk!โ€

> "Oh, that sucks."

> โ€œIt was my favorite one!โ€

See it coming yet?

> "Well, then that's a whisk we're just gonna have to tape."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CredibilityProblem
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 23 2014
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Halloween Puns

Why couldnโ€™t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.


Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!


Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!


For Halloween Iโ€™m going to write โ€œLifeโ€ on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers


This Halloween, the only Candy Iโ€™m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues


โ€œHalloweenโ€ = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.


Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!


Iโ€™ll be your trick if youโ€™ll be my treat.


How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!


When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day


Whatโ€™s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!


What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood


What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us


What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A โ€œhollow-weenie!โ€


Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost (goes).


How do you write a book about halloween? With a ghostwriter.



Iโ€™m going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always doโ€ฆ by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely,


Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, โ€œA lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?โ€ The other monster replied, โ€œBe a gentleman and roll them back to her.


The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something youโ€™re not will lead to a sweet reward.


I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, itโ€™s Election night.


I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so Iโ€™m dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.


Why dident the skeleten go to the halloween party? Becuse he had no body to go with.


What did the bird say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!


What do Italianโ€™s eat on Halloween? Fettucinni Afraid-o (Ha ha ha)


Why canโ€™t the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.


What do goblins and ghosts drink when theyโ€™re hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!!


What do ghosts eat for supper? Spooketi


What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope itโ€™s Halloween!!


What is the most important subject a witch learns in school? Spelling.

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Punsville
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 27 2017
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Why are all dadjokes just puns?

Serious question. I'm a dad, and I have several long-running jokes with my kids.

E.g., there's a "radiator monster" in the basement. Yeah, that knocking sound when we turn the steam up in the morning. Well, my eldest is getting smarter and smarter, but he still can't refute my claim that there is such a monster. Because he's not yet aware of the actual cause of the knocking/banging.

So, he's unsure!

This is a good Dad-joke, no?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/WellThenScrewIt
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 19 2014
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Are there any Halloween monsters good at math?

Only if you count Dracula.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/shdchko
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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Are monsters good at math?

Not unless you Count Dracula.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/King_Lunis
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 21 2020
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Monsters arenโ€™t usually good at math

Unless you count Dracula.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/rengokufan
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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Are any of the Halloween Monsters good at math?

Only if you Count Dracula.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Markliebs
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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Are monsters good at math?

Only if you Count Dracula.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AlexDawesome
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
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