I wanted to make sure my daughter would be good at catching fish…

So I named her Annette.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndreT_NY
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2022
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Why are fish good at weighing objects?

They are practically covered in scales.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SatisfactoryGrape
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2022
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I've got a really good joke about a fish and some herbs

But it neither the Thyme nor the Plaice

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/harpokuntish
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2022
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I was walking past the river today and this guy asked me if his rod looked good. Then, he asked if I liked his net. When he continued on and asked if I was impressed by the amount of fish he had caught, I finally lost it and shouted...

"Hey buddy, quit fishing for compliments!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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My friend said, β€œMy kid refuses to eat fish. What do you think is a good replacement?”

Me: Cats. Cats love fish.

πŸ‘︎ 597
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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I heard that fish are good for your dog's health.

They act as a dewormer.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fireburner80
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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What is a good job for a fish that has perfect pitch?

Guitar tuna

Sorry, this is really bad even by dad joke standards.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sf340flier
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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What do you call a woman who’s really good at catching fish?

Annette

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UYScutiPuffJr
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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My uncle is really good at fishing. He always knows exactly what kind of worm to put on his fishing hook, in order to catch the desired kind of fish.

One might say he is a master baiter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/assafstone
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm looking for some good fish jokes

If you know any...

Let minnow

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marocu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
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If you think of a good fish joke

Let minow

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FunnyBunnyEmoji
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
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It's not a good idea to mess with a clown fish,

You'll just end up making anemone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FairHairedWarrior
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What fish goes good with peanut butter?

Jellyfish!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Timeatsbrains
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2018
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What do you call someone who is good at fishing?

A profishional.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2021
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What makes a good Fishing film?

A good Cast.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lewisnwkc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2022
🚨︎ report
This one is hard to swallow.
πŸ‘︎ 297
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lemuri21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2022
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Who are two good friends you should always take fishing?

Annette & Rod

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wisco_minn22
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2021
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Why are fishermen never generous?

Because their business makes them selfish.

πŸ‘︎ 248
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drunkguysbookclub
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2022
🚨︎ report
A list of over 350 Dad Jokes!

Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.

3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.

5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. β€œI’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. β€œSorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. β€œYou’re out of your head.”

A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'

A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.

A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. β€œWe don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. β€œWhy not?” one yogurt asks. β€œWe’re cultured.”

A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.

A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.

A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, β€œWhat are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, β€œIt’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”

A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, β€œWhat’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, β€œArrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, β€œI don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

Armed robbersβ€”some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.

Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.

Can February March? No, but April May!

Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.

Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!

Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.

Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?

Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bugasum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2022
🚨︎ report
What do you call a women who's good at fishing?

Anet

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MediocreGinga
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a flying mermaid?

Aerial.

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FAHQRudy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2022
🚨︎ report
Some top Tom Swifties
  • "Can't talk, busy camping," replied Tom, intent.
  • "The French don't deserve our thanks," said Tom mercilessly.
  • "Haven't you heard me singing in church?" Tom inquired.
  • "I'll win this tennis game if I get one more point, " Tom deduced.
  • "I didn't eat my T-bone tonight," said Tom mistakenly.
  • "So you're asking about my mink coat," Tom inferred.
  • "I'm wearing a watch around my wrist," said Tom with abandon.
  • "I'm the most important salmon vendor," said Tom selfishly.
  • "I was correct the first three times, and I am correct now," said Tom forthrightly.
  • "Castration is reversible," Tom remembered.
  • "I brought the dessert," said Tom piously.
  • "I command my own private army," said Tom maliciously.
  • "I'll order the same meat as last time," Tom revealed.
  • "I've never swum in Egypt's longest river," said Tom in denial.
  • "Et tu?" asked Tom brutally.
  • "That's women for you," said Tom dismissively.
  • "I'll have a bowl of Chinese soup," said Tom wantonly.
  • "I eat everything," said Tom in jest.
  • "I gave you your freedom, and I can take it away," said Tom deliberately.
  • "Maybe if I rub this lamp something good will happen," said Tom ingeniously.
  • "I'm never taking an Uber again," Tom derided.
  • "That dog is a mongrel," Tom muttered.
  • "It's too bad Babe isn't on our team," said Tom ruthlessly.
  • "Maybe I should stop using worms to catch fish... or maybe not," Tom debated.
  • "Hemingway is my favorite author," said Tom earnestly.
  • "This drumming is too easy," said Tom without missing a beat.
  • "This is a frozen dessert,” I screamed.
  • "Now I have TWO duck feathers", Tom doubled down.
  • "She would never answer her phone the first time, you always had to hang up once," Tom recalled.
  • "Two plus five is seven,” Tom added.
  • "I only have Diamonds, Clubs and Spades," said Tom heartlessly.
  • "It's okay, the PlayStation still works," Tom consoled.
  • "Capital punishment is mostly used on the lower classes," said Tom with poor execution.
  • "Where are all of my old board games?" asked Tom cluelessly.
  • "I might be acquitted," said Tom without conviction.
  • "I've never dyed my hair red, but I'll try it," said Tom gingerly.
  • "Ugh! I need to shave again," Tom bristled.
  • "Whale hunting makes me so sad," Tom blubbered.
  • "I'll quit smoking marijuana right now!" said Tom bluntly.
  • "I like hot dogs more than hamburgers," said Tom frankly.
  • "I signed it twice," Tom remarked.
  • "I received a letter to take my car in for repair," Tom recalled.
  • "I hate pale ale," sai
... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2022
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I was in a pet shop

When I went to the counter with some birdseed and asked how long do the birds take to grow....

Suffice to say I'm not welcome back in that petshop anymore....

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iShitSkittles
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2022
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What’s the difference between a piano, a tuna fish AND a pot of glue?

You can tuna piano, but you can’t piano a tuna.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Divel59
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2022
🚨︎ report
Keeping tropical fish at home can have a truly calming effect on the brain.

Due to all the indoor fins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2022
🚨︎ report
A youngster approaches the river bank where an old timer has a bamboo pole with his line in the water. Then kid asks, "What are you doing, fishing?"

"Nope..." came the laconic reply, "...just feeding 'em worms."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uglypaperhaver
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2022
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I was telling my 7 year old who is on summer break how tough it is for fish…

Since they are in schools all year.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2022
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What fish is made out of two sodium atoms?

2 Na

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrRetr0_76
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2021
🚨︎ report
What discount website/app do fish use for cheaper goods?

Grouperon

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ComedyLover21
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
This is the last thing I need
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/discovid19
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Who do you talk to if you want to blackmail a nun?

The person who does their laundry. They know all the nun's bad habits.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2022
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I had some fancy fish the other day. Why was it fancy you ask?

It had a so"fish"ticated flavor. Cod almighty, this is a terrible joke.

I'm sorry

πŸ‘︎ 647
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2021
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My friend said, β€œMy kid refuses to eat fish. What do you think is a good replacement?”

β€œA cat” I said. β€œCats love fish.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a girl who is good at catching fish?

Annette.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a woman who's really good at catching fish?

Annette

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TurboAxolotl
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I wanted to make sure that my daughter would be good at catching butterflies and fish.

So I called her Anette.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HardlyNetworking
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
🚨︎ report
what do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xhero0
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2022
🚨︎ report
My friend doesn't like dating apps.

Maybe they should try dating people.

πŸ‘︎ 223
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πŸ‘€︎ u/freezerbreezer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2022
🚨︎ report
Lance is a pretty uncommon name today

In medieval times people were named Lance a lot.

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoned_Black_Nerd
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2022
🚨︎ report
If you can think of a better fish pun…

Let minnow.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VonJustin
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2022
🚨︎ report
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

Dam!

πŸ‘︎ 351
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrunchySockTaco
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2021
🚨︎ report
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?

I guess that’s debaitable.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeatsackKY
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I came up with this one. Not even a Dad … Sigh

What job makes you greedy ?

.

.

.

Fisherman ! Because you sell fish…

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alexaz92
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Anyone know any Dad jokes about eyes?

The cornea, the better.

πŸ‘︎ 155
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MajorStare
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm not good at fishing for the same reason I wouldn't make a good Doctor

I lack the Patients

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SmiteTheBacon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
There were two fish in a tank.

One turns to the other and says "How do you drive this thing?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Your_Enabler
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2022
🚨︎ report
Nuclear food prep has come a long way

Now we can get fission chips!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adam_Gill_1965
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2022
🚨︎ report
What type of music do fish like to listen to?

Anything catchy

πŸ‘︎ 184
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2021
🚨︎ report

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