What farm animals are good for the environment?

Recyclebulls

👍︎ 9
💬︎
👤︎ u/mikethejoe
📅︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
🤣😂💀
👍︎ 5k
💬︎
👤︎ u/Ahydron
📅︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend has a mollusk farm which he says gives him a good workout...

He has big mussels.

👍︎ 11
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend gets a real good workout at his giant bivalve mollusc farm...

He has big mussels!

👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?

First, a tractor.

👍︎ 19k
💬︎
👤︎ u/asiers
📅︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
It was Orwell and good in the farm until the animals started practising communism.
👍︎ 13
💬︎
📅︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My roommate got me good with some farm humor.. .

My roommate and I driving through the country and we see a farmer tilling his field. To each other we sat.. Me: "you till that field " Roommate :" you till it who's boss"

👍︎ 28
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 16 2015
🚨︎ report
I love telling dad jokes.

Sometimes he laughs.

👍︎ 13k
💬︎
👤︎ u/robar98
📅︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
The internet connection at my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.

Now I have stable wifi.

👍︎ 13k
💬︎
📅︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Regarding the diets of dairy cows.

I grew up in Vermont. Around my town were plenty of dairy farms, inviting the always wonderful manure aroma. An aroma that nearly forced my father to inhale deeply through his nose, saying, "Ah, fresh Vermont air!"

That's an excellent Dad one liner, as are most dad jokes, but he had another great one that I'm getting to.

You see, the hay bails we saw growing up in Vermont were mostly the cube variety. Hay bailing technology at the time created cubes of hay, so that's what dotted the fields they'd graze in.

As we grew older, we starting noticing the now more common round bails of hay. Dad was not pleased.

I asked him what the problem was or, at least, what his problem was with the round bails. The best jokes are set up when you ask for them.

So, he tells me. New farming technology allowed the round bails to be created more efficiently. They used less fuel in the bailers, took less passes on the field to gather the hay. They used less twine, and even though they didn't fill a truck as well as square bails, there was still a net monetary gain from the efficiency gained elsewhere.

However, studies were done on the bails. The cows approached them differently due to the different alignment of surface area. The way the rain hit the bails and rolled off as opposed to soaking in leached nutrients out of the hay. Some cows even mistook the shape of bail for another animal, and approached them so nervously that their heart rates were known to raise significantly; such a rate that a tinge of acidity could be tasted by those in the know in their milk.

What all of this amounted to... is that with the new round bails of hay, the cows just weren't getting a good square meal.

👍︎ 56
💬︎
👤︎ u/estomasi
📅︎ Sep 06 2013
🚨︎ report
Propeller Farms

When I was little, some of the first wind farms were going up in CA along 101. Dad would tell us that the "propeller farms" were where new propellers trained before they could be put onto an airplane.

Every once in a while, we saw workers on the hillside pulling one down and he's say, Oh, look! That one graduated!" Yeah, that sold it for us.

Being a good Dad, my own wee young'uns had all been instructed in the ways of propeller farming.

This evening, well over decade later, my daughter starts laughing her ass off and shaking her head. "OMG, Dad. Those are not propeller farms!"

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/kpetrie77
📅︎ Nov 23 2016
🚨︎ report
Is Michael Giacchino the greatest Star Trek Dad Joker in the world?

He must have it in his Genes.

But seriously check out his Star Trek track listings. The guy loves a good pun.

Star Trek

  1. Star Trek

  2. Nailin' The Kelvin

  3. Labor Of Love

  4. Hella Bar Talk

  5. Enterprising Young Men

  6. Nero Sighted

  7. Nice To Meld You

  8. Run And Shoot Offense

  9. Does It Still McFly?

  10. Nero Death Experience

  11. Nero Fiddles, Narada Burns

  12. Back From Black

  13. That New Car Smell

  14. To Boldly Go

  15. End Credits

Star Trek Into Darkness

  1. Logos / Pranking The Natives

  2. Spock Drops, Kirk Jumps

  3. Sub Prime Directive

  4. London Calling

  5. Meld-Merized

  6. The Kronos Wartet

  7. Brigadoom

  8. Ship To Ship

  9. Earthbound And Down

  10. Warp Core Values

  11. Buying The Space Farm

  12. The San Fran Hustle

  13. Kirk Enterprises

  14. Star Trek Main Theme

Star Trek Beyond

  1. Logo and Prosper

  2. Thank Your Lucky Star Date

  3. Night on the Yorktown

  4. The Dance of the Nebula

  5. A Swarm Reception

  6. Hitting the Saucer a Little Hard

  7. Jaylah Damage

  8. In Artifacts as in Life

  9. Franklin, My Dear

  10. A Lesson in Vulcan Mineralogy

  11. MotorCycles of Relief

  12. Mocking Jaylah

  13. Crash Decisions

  14. Krall-y Krall-y Oxen Free

  15. Shutdown Happens

  16. Cater-Krall in Zero G

  17. Par-tay for the Course

  18. Star Trek Main Theme

👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I tried to out-dadjoke my dad today...

"Hey. Hey duhtrutho. Hey!"

"Hay is for horses and other farm animals, Dad."

"Well good thing you're a jackass, now get over here and look at this."

👍︎ 32
💬︎
👤︎ u/DuhTrutho
📅︎ May 27 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad's favorite story.

My Dad tells this story all the time. He goes into great detail about what we bought at the mall and what the pig looked like, just to make it more believable. It usually takes a good 20 minutes to tell the story, it's nearly impossible to keep a straight face.

Did I ever tell you about the time we hit a pig on the highway? We were driving home from the mall and all of a sudden, BAM, we hit a pig. We didn't know what to do. The car wasn't damaged and we couldn't see what happened to the pig, so we just drove home. That night, we get a phone call and it's the police. "Sir, were you driving on I85 this afternoon", the police officer says. "Yes, I was officer" "Did you know it's against the law to leave the scene after running over a farm animal? That will be a $500 fine", says the officer. "No sir I didn't know it was against the law. But I've got to ask, how did you know it was me that ran over the pig?" The police officer responds, "The pig squealed"

👍︎ 45
💬︎
👤︎ u/Groccolli
📅︎ Nov 28 2013
🚨︎ report
My son will make a great dad someday.

Wife and I were in the kitchen talking about these new steaks we've been getting from Farm Boy. She's worried we won't be able to find such good steaks when we move.

Teenage son walks in the room, "sounds like you guys are having a pretty high-stakes conversation."

👍︎ 37
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 11 2014
🚨︎ report
Politicians and Guns

My apologies for this joke having a long lead up, but stay with me for a second and you'll understand. With the Ontario provincial elections having come and gone, it had reminded me of this getting dad joked by my uncle and a bit of underlying sarcasm that goes along with politics and the voting process. I was at my uncles farm and we were setting up for some target practice for my son and his buddy. My uncle says to me go into the shop there in the left front corner and grab one of those targets I have. As I execute my search for such item I see that they are old politic yard signs with paper targets stapled over top. I come out teasing my uncle that it looks like he's now supporting the green party, to which he reply's (queue dad joke).....

"Figured Id give 'em a shot"

Now let that sink in like I had too!

Damn he's good, and at age 78 Im totally impressed!

👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 13 2014
🚨︎ report
Got my dad tonight!

Let me preface this by saying that we live on a farm with a truly evil rooster who will attack anyone and everyone.

The fed-ex guy dropped off a package my dad had ordered, and my parents asked if he'd had any trouble with the rooster. I said he hadn't. They were like, "Good. That might've been a lawsuit waiting to happen or something."

And I said, "Yeah, maybe we should put up a Beware of Rooster sign, so we can't get sued for fowl play."

👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ Oct 07 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.