Thou shalt not COVID thy neighbor's wife.
They worship the cross product.
It was the father, son, and the goalie host.
He said: "I heaven't"
I recently tore all the ligaments in my ankle and I’m still in rehab. I was on the sidewalk concentrating on my crutches when a construction worker popped up in front of me. Initially I thought he was going to tell me I was walking under something dangerous; halfway through I thought he was going to ask me out; then Jesus happened:
“Hey, that looks like it hurts!”
“Naw, it’s not bad, it’s much better now.”
“Running? Skiing? How’d you do it?”
“Rock climbing.”
“Rock climbing! Wow, so you must be strong, eh?”
“Yeah, I’m ripped.”
“ … ripped? Really?”
“Yeah, I’m super ripped.”
“ … oh. Wow. Not joking.”
“Yeah, I’m joking. I’m not actually ripped.”
“ … ahaha … hah. That was good.”
“Yep.”
“So, I’m Christian.”
“Hi, Christian.”
“... and I don’t know if you’ve read the Bible, but the Bible says that laying on of hands, especially for our fellow Christians, will heal. And I’ve …” etc.
It took me a block to realize that I’d accidentally made a Dad joke.
It was a sunny afternoon in the city, and a 29 foot Amazonian Anaconda slithered into a hipster burger store. The snake slithered up to the counter and looked over the menu to find that everything was gluten free. The anaconda was disappointed, because he always found that the light fluffy bread on each end of his burger was his favorite part of the burger.
The clerk greeted him with a smile. "Hello! My name is Hyun! Can I take your order?" he said.
The anaconda responded with a sentence so foul I cannot type it here. It contained several swear words and many racial slurs against his server, all because the burgers would be served without buns.
Hyun reeled back in disgust. He requested an apology from the snake. Again, the anaconda belted out horrible curses and vulgarities.
Hyun, being the good Christian man that he is, said that he would call upon his good friend Sister Alice to perform an exorcism on the snake if he didn't leave. The snake finally slithered out upon hearing this.
About an hour later, the anaconda slithered back in with his owner. They approached the counter.
"Now what seems to be the problem here?" Said the anaconda's owner.
"This snake came in swearing up a storm and causing all kind of trouble all because we don't serve gluten in this restaurant" said Hyun.
"I threatened to call my friend Sister Alice to perform an exorcism if he didn't leave."
"Oh" said the anaconda's owner "Sorry about that. My Anaconda don't want nun unless you got buns, Hyun".
