Going Bye Bye! Puns

The reason I do so is really complicated. But mostly because I am going to lunch now, and I will be back soon.

It was a stock exchange.

A guy walks into a bar just as a chicken is paying for his drinks and leaving. "Bye, Leon, I'm off to the seance!" the chicken tells the bartender as he walks out the door. "Why is the chicken going to a seance?" the guy asks the bartender. "To get to the other side."

A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says “God bless Mummy and God Bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad.” The father says, “Good bye Grandad? Why is that?” The daughter says, “Just because I felt like it.” The next day, Grandad drops dead. The father can’t believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter’s prayers again. She says, “God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma.” The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, “Just because I felt like it.” The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn’t know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, “God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy.” The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn’t go home and stays there until midnight. He’s very surprised. ‘I’ve cheated death!’ he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, “Where have you been?!” and the husband says, “Oh don’t ask me any questions, today’s been miserable.” The wife replies, “Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch…”

Bye, king. I must go.

Me: Bye, Dad! I'm going to get a haircut." Dad: "Which one?"

My earliest recollection of a dad joke is when I was about 6/7 years old.

We'd just waved bye to the last guests at my party. Understandably, my parents were beyond exhausted, but tidied up anyway. After all was done, we sat in the living room and my dad pulled out a chair from the dining room. He then brought another, and placed it next to it. He did the same again. I had no idea what was going on, until he sat across all three, threw his hands in the air and shouted:

"Three chairs for dad!"

Absolute quality, textbook dad.

There we are, sitting in my parents living room when my mom asks me "how do I get my iPhone and iPad in sync?" I told her "ask my sister, just hope she doesn't make them in sync on the backstreet" to which my dad chimed in "boy that ain't no lie". So I said "I know. I think I need to go home. Bye bye bye."

> Bye baby, I'm going to go pick up the Five Guys

You won't be able to fit them unless you take out the car seat.