But a farmer told me his kid is a goat
We were playing "restaurant", and this was a special restaurant that only only animals went to.
In the middle of playing a family of goats came to the restaurant and they were ordering their food.
"Daddy, what's the baby goat going to eat?"
"The kid's meal"
I cracked myself up
But there were some baby goats there using alchemy to paper money into coins near the exit. As I rushed out the door, I tripped over some of their stacks of coins, which knocked me out til the police showed up.
I was so close! And, honestly, I would have gotten away with it too... if it weren't for those metaling kids.
When a Billie goat and a nanny goat have sex, are they just kidding
My first son was recently born 5.5 weeks early (he's doing great!)
As such, we hadn't set up a crib or nursery room yet in our apartment. Sitting around with my wife and aunt last night talking about how stressed we were bringing a new baby home to an apartment where we had no place to put him inspired the following exchange.
Wife: "It was kind of like the baby Jesus...no room at the inn kind of situation." Me: "Yeah, we ended up having to have him spend the night with our goat."
(Pause)
Me again: "I felt really bad for the kid. And our son too."
My dad used to tell me this one all the time when I was a kid.
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Goat
- Goat who?
- Go To Sleep
My parents, girlfriend and I were walking around exploring one of the neighbouring islands when we saw a sign that said "youth recreational grounds" on it, but was just a field full of goats.
My dad exclaims "pretty sure these aren't the youths that the council had in mind"
And I retort "either way, I hear it's a great place to bring your kids"
...Cue groans
In the photo, was my toddler twins in their "big kid" stroller for the first time, and I told him so. My father responded "where are you going to get the goat to pull it?"
I thought of this while eating oatmeal. My son is only 15 months old, so I donate it to those of you who have children old enough to groan.
Me: If people eat oatmeal for breakfast, what do goats eat?
Kid: What?
Me: Goat-meal!
Kid: <groan>
Me: If people eat oatmeal for breakfast, and goats eat goat-meal, what do boats eat?
Kid: (hopefully) Boat-meal!
Me: No, boats don't eat!
I was with a few people at a festival, and saw a little girl pulling a baby goat back to her (the goat's) stall. I could resist saying
"Look at those two little kids!"
Groans were my cheers and facepalms were my applause
Bf's Uncle: I didn't like the movie Gravity. It wasn't bad, just a little boring.
Bf's Dad: So Gravity didn't draw you in?
Bf's Dad: I haven't eaten goat meat since I was a kid
Cue me dying laughing while my boyfriend struggles to understand
Oldest: "Aww, a baby!"
Me: "Really? You've goat to be kidding me!"
Just showed my dad a picture on /r/aww of that cute baby goat today.
Dad: What is that??
Me: It's a baby goat! Isn't that so cute?
Dad: You're KIDding me, right?
And of course proceeds to howl in laughter at his genius. Oh, you...
