> The ghost of Christmas passed.
Which provokes even greater astonishment upon realising the game was undertaken in the pitch of night.
He's very fond of his chick in Kiev!
A SCOREpion
The waiter says, “Sorry sir, no dogs allowed”.
Guy says, “Wait, wait - this is a very special dog. Every time the Jets score a field goal he does this amazing trick.”
Waiter says, “Fine, we’ll see….”
Jets score a field goal and the dog does this crazy double backflip.
“Wowwww!!” the waiter says, “That’s insane!!! What does he do when they make a touchdown?!?!”
“I don’t know…” the guy replies, “I’ve only had him for 7 years”
Blatantly stolen from my Uncles Facebook page (link in comments):
Uncle: I'm proud of myself. Instead of goofing off this summer, I chose to go back to school and better myself. I enrolled in a course and have spent the past few weeks in intense study, finally passing the final exam today with a score of 100% - a score that I'm pretty sure they don't see too often. It's not often that I toot my own horn, but this time I think I really deserve it. Thank you to everyone who helped me achieve my goal!
Friend: Congratulations! What subject?
Uncle: It was Traffic School. Speeding ticket. The system wanted me to fail.
There was this guy on the pitch with a beanie on his head. He scored the first goal, a header.
"Great goal," I said.
"Yes," said my friend. "A great goal."
Another opportunity arose ten minutes later, and the same player jumped up, and scored another header. A terrific one.
"Wow, that was unstoppable," I told my friend.
"Yes, unbelievable. Unstoppable," he replied.
Towards the end of the game, the same player leapt up, scored another incredible header.
I turned to my friend, flabbergasted and said, "I think that thing on his head, it's giving him some sort of advantage. This entire game he hasn't missed a single header."
"What about it?" asked my friend.
I said. "He's got a hat, Rick."
I play indoor soccer with a group of guys every Thursday night at the local church. We play for fun so we have some ground rules so it doesn't get too aggressive. One of the guys went for a slide and scored a goal everyone was quite upset at this knowing we had already established that sliding, especially indoor, was not allowed. While everyone was arguing whether the goal counted or not I responded with, " I think we can let that one slide." Collective groan from many, many others allowed it.
"I guess Germany is scoring brazilians of goals"
So we went to the Wild's preseason game against the Blues last night and there was a blues player who fell down after blocking a shot with his inner thigh. It reminded me of this goal (http://www.reddit.com/tb/2i8prv) I saw on r/hockey yesterday that JvR scored off his weiner, and told my dad about it.
His response: That's nuts! Good thing it wasn't in their own goal, that would've been a dick move.
