Jerry can
Me: That's an odd word to get sick of.
I texted her: "Oh pun the door!"
I’m not going to stand for it.
It's too bad, because I was on a roll.
She thinks it is grounds for divorce.
It seems like there isn’t any Germanymore.
Because everytime I flush, it sounds like it's done with my shit.
So I switched to well water
I asked him if he was suffering from Mussel Fatigue.
All it took was one peck.
My girlfriends dad everyone.
GF: I don't wanna keep feeling this poopy
Me: Hey, please don't touch any poop, it's unsanitary.
She actually laughed!
Jerry can
I must have a weekend immune system...
The L’Hospital!
They have little anty bodies
It's true! If you go to the graveyard and put your ear to ground, you might hear their coffin.
Because they have so many anty-bodies
Jerry can.
No, seriously.
It's not like they can go see a doctor
Jacinda home.
Impatient Zero
because its hands were constantly touching its face
Will there be a coronation?
They don’t. They get shot.
Terminal Illness
Putin on the fritz
Over dos
Because they've already been cured!
(Thought of this as I made me a sandwich)
curvy
A PANdemic!
The farmacy.
Father replies "well, it is because we have little anty-bodies son!"
Because of their little anty-bodies.
Sry if repost, I'm relatively new.
"Says W.H.O.?"
I've been under the weather for several years.
The Mayo Clinic
People are dying to get in.
And I am getting sick of it.
Because they're full of anty bodies.
They have ant-y-bodies.
This is actually a daughter joke, my 11 year old made me chuckle on this one.
To the dock.
Heard it this morning on the Irish classic fm. Loved it!
I really want to have a daughter and name her Zelda.
I imagine, as she gets older she will spend all her time writing sick poetry and rhymes in her journal, growing her hair down to her back, not to spite me, but so she can donate it later, and expand her wit by studying improv comedy through highschool.
As she becomes famous, I hope she will invite me to one of her rap battles and put me in the front row. My heart will grow as she takes the stage, but fatherly intuition tells me something is wrong...Zelda is frozen at the microphone.
I see her up on the stage, eyes alight with fright, hair pulled tight into a bun. She and I lock eyes, a moment of silence passes and serenity slowly enters...THIS is the moment we have been waiting for all our lives.
Looking up calmly, I couldn't be more proud as I exclaim, "Rap puns, Zel. Rap puns, Zel! Let down your hair!"
People get sick of it but they still do it
Oinkment.
When the friend finally got the location to run the shop he tried to get some experienced and dedicated employees. However, he soon realized that all the good employees for a gelato shop were already working at some nearby locations. So he had to deal with some mediocre people who didn’t care that much about gelatos. Then a day before the opening of the shop the person who was supposed to provide the materials for the gelatos called in as sick. Finally there were also some teenagers who decided to steal some of the decorations.
When the friend told this story the other friend then said,
#“Man, you have gelat of problems.”
The horsepital. The weterinarian. The ducktor. The flychologist. The dentist. On your carpet usually.
Jerry can.
I texted her, “Oh pun the door!”
I shouted to her ‘o pun the door’
Jerry can
Jerry can
It's because they have anty bodies.
Because they have anty bodies
Because they have antibodies...
Because they have little antybodies.
Jerry can
Because they have little anty bodies
Jerry can.
They have little Anty-bodies
Because of their antybodies
Because they have little anty bodies.
Because they have little ant-i-bodies
Because they have little antibodies
Because they have little anty bodies.
Because they have anty bodies.
They fill their anty bodies with anty biotics.
They have little anty bodies.
Because of their anty bodies
Because they have little anty bodies
Because they have little anty bodies.
Because they have little anty-bodies…
Because they have little anty bodies.
Because they have little anty bodies
Because that have anty-bodies
Because they have anty-bodies
Because they have little antibodies.
They have little anti-bodies
They have little anty-bodies
Because they have little anty-bodies
Because they have little antibodies.
Because they have little anty-bodies
To the mayo clinic.
Because they have tinyyyy little anty-bodies
Because they have tiny anty-bodies
Because they have good anty bodies
They’ve got little antibodies
'cause they have little anty bodies
