Did you know that all Danish Boy Scouts have to get a tattoo?
This has been a crazy year. After everything that has happened though do you want to know the one thing that I can’t get over ?
I made up a joke so get ready to hate on me. Trump (I know it's topical).... Trump was nervous during the election and was asked "hey, do you want some spiced tea"?
A woman driving a minivan with 7 hyperactive kids gets pulled over for running a red light. The cop says “Don’t you know when to stop?” The woman says...
You know how only the strongest sperm gets to fertilise the egg?
I guess you could call it survival of the fetus.
Do you know what to say to get gold’s attention?
Did you know it's not uncommon to get a boner at a funeral?
It's known as mourning wood
Did you know that if you get really close to a lighter flame…
…it smells like burnt nose hair?
How do you get to know someone?
With ^^^^^^small ^^^^^^talk
My son and I were walking down the street and he was saying he didn't know which girl to ask to prom and whether he should get a pink or red corsage. I stopped and said, "you might not even have prom due to coronavirus! You gotta look at the big picture, son."
And we both admired the new mural.
Do you want to know what one of the coolest gifts you could ever get someone is?
So, I was on the train the other day, and you know how it takes a while to get to the city, well my phone battery was flat and I didn't have a book, so I was a bit bored, but then I realised that there is all this cool graffiti on the tunnel walls... and um... so my phone was dead... and.. the city?
Oh darn it! I lost my train of thought.
When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there!
Did you know prisoners have to get in line to eat nowadays?
Those are the con-sequences of a life of crime!
Do you know why nobody wants to be around when clock-makers get to working?
Did you know bin men don’t get trained how to do there jobs
They pick it up on the way
I called my wife on the way to work, I said when I get home, I want you to do something freaky to me. You know what she said?
Happy Pi Day, everybody! You know what I like to get in the mail on Pi Day?
You know there's a vegetable which is almost impossible to get stuck in your throat?
Yeah, it's really artichoke.
You know what they say about the melons that aren't able to run off and get married?
Step mom said to me, "You know what really works to get rid of ants?"
Dad chimes in, "A pissed off uncle."
Do you know why there is a fence around a cemetery? People are dying to get in there.
When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there!
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