Kid: Why do you stand on one leg while you get money out of the ATM?
Dad: I’m checking my balance.
As a single dad money can be tight. But even when I’m on a date and I know I’m not attracted to her, I still like to get the door for her and let her walk through. It makes her feel appreciated.
And it makes it easier to slam the door and run so I don’t have to pay for dinner.
Today I was wearing a shirt with the family crest of my favorite painter Frida Kahlo. After a few hours I started to get hungry and ordered takeout. When my delivery person arrived he handed over my food without taking any money for bringing it to me. I asked him “How come there’s no charge?”
He replied: I was going to charge you, but I noticed you had Frida Livery”
Took me awhile, but I was finally able to get my hands in some Iranian money for my coin collection!
I'm rial-ly developing a respectable collection, lemme tell ya!
Well It's 1 for the Money, 2 For the Show, 3 To Get Ready.....
4 For Sales
5 For Customer Service or
6 to hear these options again
How did Eddie Money get himself and a friend into the backgammon tournament?
Two tickets, two pair of dice.
What do you get when you cross money with a meerkat?
A Cashmere Cat
I haven't had much luck dating recently so I decided to start a new hobby; painting money I get from the bank.
I'm going to dye a loan.
How do you get money into your mouth?
You purse your lips
What a strange morning. First I find a hat full of money in the street and then I get chased by an angry guy with a guitar!
I gave $1 for a 50 cent candy and didn’t get any money back.
Some people never change.
What money do kids in Thailand get?
Phuket money!
P.S.: Got an eye roll and a groan from the wife so I've already got a win!
Most people get into dealing drugs for the money
I do it for the percs
Perfume companies tend to get wrongly accused of laundering money.
But their business is in a scent
Ostrich meat would be a market I could get into to make some good money...
but it probably wouldn't take off.
I'm a little low on money at the moment to buy Injustice 2. I plan on trading games back to GameStop even though I will get next to nothing for it. I'll even trade in my original Injustice game for it...
that's what I call poetic injustice.
How did Chinese-American business man Robert Nigel Yu get free money from the bank?
When the teller asked for his name he said, "I am Rob N. Yu."
So, if I make all my money vending condoms - do I get paid in Johnny Cash?
What does a plumber, that is paid by the hour, do to get more money?
they stall
Just met Henry Winkler! He asked me for $20 and said if I get three people to give me $20, I'll make my money back and then some...
Sounds like a typical Fonzie Scheme
