I'm trying to get better at making jokes from blending words together, but all my attempts turn out bad

Despite all my effort, I can't produce more than a poormansteau at best

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gramineous
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
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I went into the kitchen this morning and there was a "Get better soon" card on the table for me. I called out to my wife asking what it was for because I wasn't sick.

She shouted back from the other room "It's an ultimatum."

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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My wife said I need to get a better truck...

Dually noted

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Halo4me42
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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They better stay peaceful cause other wise they might get chased.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ATMiceli
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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Better get that 60+ sonblock on, you never know
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UwaltzBigShock
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
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Why is it better to get beer in Ireland than in Scotland?

Because in Ireland they Dublin size!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrazyJT007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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Where do sick horses go to get better?

They don’t. They get shot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/earthrogue
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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My dad tried to take the phone from me, saying he could get us a better deal on internet.. I hate this man, lol

He took the phone, and said, in the voice of Freddie Mercury, "Is this the wi-fi? Is this just fantasy?...Caught in a landline, we don't need AT&T.." and then passed the phone back. We already have AT&T, and I WAS ON THE PHONE WITH A FRIEND THAT DOES ACCOUNTING?, NOTHING TO DO WITH SOMEONE CALLING OUR HOUSE. No more Crockpot broccoli and cheese soup using weed butter for him. Good god... I'm almost impressed. We also haven't had a landline in years. God bless this small dog weilding, vaping man.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cracksniffer666
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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woodnt get better
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
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Banks need to get better at restocking these ATMs

This is now the fifth one that has insufficient funds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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Doesn't get any better than this
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fulback
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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Why does Christmas get better with age?

The more the merrier.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robbiewesters
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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Better do it when you get there.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FOriginal
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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Mom: I hear that John's business is doing a lot better. How did he manage to get enough people to slow down on that stretch of highway to even notice his store? Dad: Oh, he followed my advice and put up a billboard.

"Nude Colony Ahead, Keep Your Eyes on the Road!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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How do scientists get better breath?

Experimints

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_noIdentity
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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As weed legality gets better, I still cannot believe...

that I haven't heard of a single dispensary referring to itself as a "cannabusiness"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cuon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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*Sitting around the campfire with the fam, roasting hotdogs* You'd better eat that hotdog before it gets cold.

Me: Because then it would be ..... a chili dog.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pmia241
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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Did you know that your eyesight actually gets better as you get older?

It's called adult supervision.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2015
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Where do sick boats go to get better?

To the dock.

Heard it this morning on the Irish classic fm. Loved it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jean_bono178
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
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Why do Mexican men get better positions out of college?

Because they can apply for seΓ±or positions

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ComedyLover21
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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My kid asked me how he could get better at chemistry

I told him not to overreact

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegamescapes
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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Carn't get better than this
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πŸ‘€︎ u/live4lifelegit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2018
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I looked in the mirror this morning and realized I get better looking every day

Becasue there's no way I can get any uglier

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Derpalupagus
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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Why did the 90Β° angle get better grades than the other angles?

Because it's always right

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eagleknight23
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
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I’m writing a book about a person who learns to take better care of their hair as they get older

It’s a real combing-of-age story.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schmoopy_Boo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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Guy used to be in the army. Real good looking guy too. Blond hair, tall, blue eyes. But now tends to sick animals, helping to diagnose and treat them so they can get better.

He's a veteran Aryan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/someredditorguy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2016
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Installing snow tires on the rear of my truck. Noticed they are a little taller than the front tires. Dad says that's ok, I'll get better gas mileage.

"Because you'll always be driving downhill."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fitchgt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2013
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