I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
I have 3 sets of teams available in a free 8th year 4 Sport Keeper League on Yahoo. I need some legit hardcore & knowledgeable sports owners. It seems some owners have had other situations pop up in their lives, as well as some only focusing on some leagues. You must be active in all 4 sports if not, you will be replaced. If you know that you won’t stick around, look elsewhere. I’m looking for owners who are going to stay & be part of this league for years & years to come. You MUST 4 players every year in each sport (You must keep 4 players no matter what). We allow offseason trading in each sport so they are essentially year round leagues. No multi-sport trading is allowed. The teams below are listed.
1st Set
MLB: Rorschach (163-146-27) – 5th Place (Cats Scoring) (10th Overall Pick) (SV+HD are 1 cat)
C J.T. Realmuto
1B Anthony Rizzo
2B Luis Arraez
3B Josh Donaldson
SS Marcus Semien
LF Ryan Mountcastle
CF George Springer
RF Frank Schwindel
Util Daulton Varsho
SP Wade Miley
SP Lucas Giolito
RP Matt Barnes
RP Josh Taylor
P Emilio Pagán
P Kyle Gibson
P Max Fried
BN Chris Taylor
BN Kiké Hernández
BN Alex Verdugo
BN James Kaprielian
BN Aaron Civale
BN Cole Irvin
BN Shane Bieber
IL Danny Duffy
NBA: Stairway To Kevin (25-29-0) – 9th Place (Cats Scoring)
PG Fred VanVleet TOR - PG,SG
SG Terry Rozier CHA - PG,SG
G Evan Fournier NYK - SG,SF
SF Kevin Durant BKN - SF,PF
PF Jimmy Butler MIA - SF,PF
F OG Anunoby TOR - SF,PF
C Marcus Morris Sr. LAC - PF,C
C Myles Turner IND - PF,C
Util Larry Nance Jr. POR - PF,C
Util Jaden McDaniels MIN - PF
BN Donte DiVincenzo MIL - PG,SG
BN Danilo Gallinari ATL - SF,PF
BN Al Horford BOS - PF,C
BN Derrick Favors OKC - C
BN Kelly Oubre Jr. CHA - SG,SF
BN Xavier Tillman MEM - PF,C
NFL: Barber Shop Boys (7-5-0) : 7th Place (Pts League)
QB Taylor Heinicke Was - QB
WR Stefon Diggs Buf - WR
WR Michael Gallup Dal - WR
RB Dalvin Cook Min - RB
RB Antonio Gibson Was - RB
TE Tyler Conklin Min - TE
W/R/T Mike Williams LAC - WR
DB Vonn Bell Cin - S
DB Andrew Wingard Jax - S
DL Aaron Donald LAR - DT
DL Austin Johnson NYG - DT
LB Denzel Perryman LV - LB
LB Tae Crowder NYG - LB
BN Tee Higgins Cin - WR
BN Damien Harris NE - RB
BN Patrick Mahomes KC - QB
BN D'Ernest Johnson Cle - RB
BN Javon Hargrave Phi - DT
BN Harold Landry III Ten - LB
BN L'Jarius Sneed KC - S
BN Jalen Ramsey LAR - CB
*NHL: Rorschach (14-57-13) – 14th Place (Cats Scoring)
... keep reading on reddit ➡For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
UPDATE: Thread is now closed, thank you for your participation :) If I've missed anybody please feel free to message me here or email me at pjsummers333@gmail.com
Merry Mean Girls day everybody! Today I would like to offer gifts of what I have so far of the show. The limit does not exist, please feel free to request as many as you would like. I shall try to fulfil requests as quickly as I can for up to one week (so closing Sunday 10th). When requesting, just copy/paste the first line of each. So for the first one you would just need to post 'Broadway - May 2019 - StarCuffedJeans' master - MP4 (HD) - 6.23 GB'. Or if you'd like all of them just say you'd like all of them, then it's just quicker.
VIDEOS:
Broadway - May 2019 - StarCuffedJeans' master - MP4 (HD) - 6.23 GBCAST: Erika Henningsen (Cady Heron), Ashley De La Rosa (s/b Regina George), Krystina Alabado (Gretchen Wieners), Kate Rockwell (Karen Smith), Barrett Wilbert Weed (Janis Sarkisian), Grey Henson (Damian Hubbard), Kyle Selig (Aaron Samuels), Cheech Manohar (Kevin Gnapoor), Jennifer Simard (Mrs. Heron/Ms. Norbury/Mrs. George), Rick Younger (Principal Duvall), Iain Young (s/w Mr. Heron)NOTES: Beautiful HD capture of the new cast and Ashley as Regina. Erika flubs a line during "Whose House is This" and the cast spends the remainder of the song recovering. Please do not post screenshots of this video on Twitter ever. Gifs on Tumblr are okay after the NFT date, but don’t go linking things to actors and shows.
Broadway - September 2019 - StarCuffedJeans' master - MP4 (HD) - 6.14 GBCAST: Becca Petersen (u/s Cady Heron), Reneé Rapp (Regina George), Krystina Alabado (Gretchen Wieners), Kate Rockwell (Karen Smith), Gianna Yanelli (u/s Janis Sarkisian), Grey Henson (Damian Hubbard), Kyle Selig (Aaron Samuels), Cheech Manohar (Kevin Gnapoor), Jennifer Simard (Mrs. Heron/Ms. Norbury/Mrs. George), Rick Younger (Principal Duvall)NOTES: Beautiful HD capture of Becca as Cady! A very Becca-centric video, this is filmed from the left mezzanine without obstructions with a mix of wides, mediums, and many closeups! Please do not post screenshots of this video on Twitter ever. Gifs on Tumblr are okay after the NFT date, but don’t go linking things to actors and shows. Clips of/links to this video are never to be posted on YouTube, Vimeo, Tik Tok, Google Classroom, or anything like that.
Broadway - January 2020 - StarCuffedJeans' master - MP4 - 6.02 GBCAST: Erika Henningsen (Cady Heron
... keep reading on reddit ➡They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
You take away their little brooms
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
It was about a weak back.
Nothing, it just waved
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
Bob
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
