Gee gee gaa gaa
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hados1109
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One turned to the other and said "Gee it's hot in here"

The other one shouted "Wow, a talking muffin"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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Gee, what dog almost was a pun?

A pug

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jspittman
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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Dr Gee will see you now
πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ybcj718
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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Gee Bill!
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hydrated-Egg-Roll
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
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β€œSon, I found a condom in your room.” β€œGee thanks, Grandpa!”

β€œWhy are you calling me Grandpa?”

β€œBecause I couldn’t find it yesterday.”

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
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Gee thanks Dad
πŸ‘︎ 252
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bsmarshalI
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2013
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"Gee, I've always wanted to see the Milky Way Galaxy-" "Um, I can't go to the Milky Way Galaxy... I'm lactose intolerant."
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Princess_Ember
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2016
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"Gee dad, that hamburger meat is pretty red..."

"Guess that's, irony, for ya"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iAMtheTROUBLEDone
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2016
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I thought I heard an onion singing a Bee Gees song.

But it was just a chive talking.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
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I thought I heard the Bee Gees singing in my herb garden...

But it was just the chives talkin'

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
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Today a coworker said, "Yeah, there is only one living member of The Bee Gees left..."

Of course I seized the opportunity and said "I guess they aren't doing so great at Stayin' Alive"

I was met with a CSI style "YEAHHHH" and many giggles.

Too many dads at work. I love it.

πŸ‘︎ 113
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Azsunyx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2014
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Talking to my dad about the Bee Gees a few years ago...

Dad: This is the last one, they all died pretty young. Me: I guess they're not good at Stayin' Alive

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shakirahudge
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2015
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What do you call the fake shit you use to wash your hair?

Sham poo.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cobblecloth
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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Why is the G in gnocchi silent?

Because a real G never snitches on his homies.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kingxtc
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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Allow me to introduce myself
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/raghav50w
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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I gave my son a fresh fish for Christmas

I don't understand why he was so disappointed. He told me he wanted the new cod

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChefRagnarok
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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just stayin' alive
πŸ‘︎ 299
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hilloviikot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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Ah, ah, ah, ah.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PG4044
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
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Teacher: use the word geometry in a sentence

Student: One day, an acorn fell off, landed and sprouted. It grew and grew, and one day it woke up and said β€œgee, I’m a tree!”

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cicero_the_roman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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Pisquit
πŸ‘︎ 349
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πŸ‘€︎ u/knorke3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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My wife and I went to a local brewery last night. Said brewery has quite a few IPA style beers.

As we were leaving, wife says "Gee, they have a lot of feral cats." I said "Surprised they don't have a lot of feral rabbits." HUH? Because of all the hops they use!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flylink63
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
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When you’re drunk and clever
πŸ‘︎ 645
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πŸ‘€︎ u/azip13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2017
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Did you hear about the DJ that was late to his Gig???

Everyone was like, Gee MC......

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aWayCup
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
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What's blue and not very heavy?

Light blue.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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What do you get when you boil your funny bone?

Laughing stock.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kingbrannyh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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Arrested for stealing a calendar.

I got 12 months.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drjamjam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2015
🚨︎ report
Why did the cactus cross the road ?

It was stuck on the chickens butt.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustinN301
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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Cheetahs
πŸ‘︎ 155
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2018
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Cliffs are my favorite geographic formation.

But they have one downside.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
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Friend:whats your rapper name? Me: Lil pup
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jojagurdoesreddit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2018
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pun help??

I need some puns that rhyme with Lee, can you guys help??

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2014
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What music group will make you healthy?

BeeGees.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/benboga08
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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What did the math teacher say after they were magically transformed into a tree?

Gee, I’m a tree. (It sounds like geometry if you say it out loud).

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WitherLord888
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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My GP (general practitioner) is Dr. Sippe.

His wife must be Mississippi.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConnorGotchi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2014
🚨︎ report
So 3 nuns die and go to Heaven and are at the pearly gates...

After dying in a fatal car crash, 3 nuns end up at the pearly gates and the saint there tells them "Since you're so pure of heart and free of sin you can all go into the Kingdom of Heaven if you answer 3 questions. I'm going to ask you one question each."

The saint turns to the first nun and asks: "Who were the first two humans God created?"

She says: "Adam and Eve!"

She gets into Heaven.

The saint turns to the second nun and asks: "What was the one thing Adam and Eve were told not to do in the Garden of Eden?"

She says: "They weren't allowed to eat the fruit of knowledge!"

She gets into Heaven.

The saint turns to the last nun - the mother superior - and says "Since you're the mother superior my last question is going to be difficult to answer, but if you answer correctly you can get into Heaven. So my question for you is: What was the first thing Eve said to Adam when they realized they were naked?"

Now she has to think a little and as she thinks she's close to conceding, uttering "Gee, that's a hard one..."

The saint lets her right into Heaven.

The End.

πŸ‘︎ 287
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thora-suan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the mathematician say when she turned into a plant?

Gee...ah'm a tree!!!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talon184
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
🚨︎ report
One day a guy dies...

...and finds himself in hell. Walking around, he runs into the devil.

Devil: Why are you so sad?

Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell.

Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?

Guy: Sure, I love to drink.

Devil: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Diet Coke. We drink until we throw up and then we drink some more.

Guy: Gee, that sounds great.

Devil: You a smoker?

Guy: You better believe it.

Devil: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our friggin' lungs out. If you get cancer, it's okay -- you're already dead.

Guy: Golly!

Devil: I bet you like to gamble, too.

Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.

Devil: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it. You like to do drugs?

Guy: Yes, I love to do drugs. You don't mean...?

Devil: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of the Titanic. You can do all the drugs you want, and you'll never die -- you're already dead.

Guy: Neat! I never realized hell was such a happenin' place!

Devil: You gay?

Guy: No.

Devil: Oh, you're gonna hate Fridays

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DylanTheG999
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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My dad saw I was working on Geometry homework...

"Geometry? That's what the little acorn said when he grew up!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/annielemoose
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2013
🚨︎ report
β€œSon, I found a condom in your room.” β€œGee thanks, Grandpa!”

β€œWhy are you calling me Grandpa?”

β€œBecause I couldn’t find it yesterday.”

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the Tree say in Math Class?

Geometry (Gee-I’m-A-Tree)

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report

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