Do your worst!
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
#Elite Group D in Jaipur
>Maharashtra vs Rajasthan at Jaipuria Vidhyalaya Ground
Rajasthan won the toss and opted to bowl first
| Maharashtra | 277/6 | 24 Fours, 5 Sixes | RR - 5.54 |
|---|---|---|---|
| Kedar Jadhav | 101* (93) | Ravi Bishnoi | 3/55 (10) |
| Yash Nahar | 55 (76) | Aniket Choudhary | 1/48 (10) |
| Satyajeet Bachhav | 44 (53) | Abhimanyu Lamba | 1/56 (10) |
| Rajasthan | 233 all out | 12 Fours, 8 Sixes | RR - 4.84 |
| Mahipal Lomror | 86 (88) | Pradeep Dadhe | 4/48 (10) |
| Salman Khan | 68 (90) | Rajvardhan Hangrekar | 2/33 (9.1) |
| Arjit Gupta | 22 (30) | Mukesh Choudhary | 2/33 (9) |
Maharashtra won the match by 44 runs
>Delhi vs Himachal at KL Saini Stadium
Delhi won the toss and opted to bowl first
| Himachal | 251/8 | 19 Fours, 3 Sixes | RR - 5.02 |
|---|---|---|---|
| Nikhil Gangta | 100* (126) | Kulwant Khejroliya | 2/30 (8) |
| Ayush Jamwal | 34 (35) | Simarjeet Singh | 2/47 (7) |
| Digvijay Rangi | 27 (39) | Lalit Yadav | 1/38 (9) |
| Delhi | 252/4 | 24 Fours, 4 Sixes | RR - 5.23 |
| Kshitiz Sharma | 67* (66) | Mayank Dagar | 2/40 (10) |
| Lalit Yadav | 52* (48) | Vaibhav Arora | 1/44 (8.1) |
| Dhruv Shorey | 51 (74) |
Delhi won the match by 6 wickets
>Mumbai vs Puducherry at Sawai Mansingh Stadium
Puducherry won the toss and opted to bowl first
| Mumbai | 457/4 | 62 Fours, 11 Sixes | RR - 9.14 |
|---|---|---|---|
| Prithvi Shaw | 227* (152) | Pankaj Singh | 2/79 (7) |
| Suryakumar Yadav | 133 (58) | Suresh Kumar | 1/22 (4) |
| Aditya Tare | 56 (64) | Sagar Trivedi | 1/99 (9) |
| Puducherry | 224 all out | 25 Fours, 5 Sixes | RR - 5.87 |
| Rohit Damodaran | 63 (68) | Prashant Solanki | 5/48 (10) |
| Sagar Trivedi | 43 (25) | Shardul Thakur | 2/31 (4.1) |
| Paras Dogra | 29 (36) | Tushar Deshpande |
Mumbai won the match by 233 runs
#Elite Group E in Kolkata
>J&K vs Haryana at Eden Gardens
J&K won the toss and opted to bowl first
| Haryana | 308/6 | 34 Fours, 5 Sixes | RR - 6.16 |
|---|---|---|---|
| Shivam Chauhan | 123 (131) | Mujtaba Yousuf | 2/53 (10) |
| Rohit Sharma | 51 (36) | Aquib Nabi | 2/77 (10) |
| Chaitanya Bishnoi | 45 (59) | Parvez Rasool | 1/60 (10) |
| J&K | 295 all out | 26 Fours, 8 Sixes | RR - 6.00 |
| Parvez Rasool | 86 (85) | Arun Chaprana | 4/35 (9.1) |
| Bandeep Singh | 51 (60) |
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
I won't be doing that today!
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
Buenosdillas
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
“BOOM”?!
