Funny Store Item Puns

SO i work in a store and basically:

A new girl had started and was scanning through this couples items. Last on the list was a £5 jar of Nescafe Gold. As she scanned it through the man went to grab it and it fell and broke. I instantly turned round to her, looked her dead in the eye and said "Now thats what I call... Ground Coffee"

My boss started laughing as did everyone at my Till and she was laughing shouting "Its not funny".

I do this every time she drops a jar of coffee.

So I happen to be grocery shopping along with my dad in a Target store. Not much to pick up but two of the items we needed were thyme and milk. They happen to be within a few feet of each other in the same cooled location. We both see the thyme first, but I am the one who happens to grab it. I reach for the first one in a long line of cases of thyme and something must have happened where it was too tightly loaded in the spring rack so that when I grabbed the one, the spring shot and about five more flung out, some landing on the floor, some breaking open on the shelves. I see the mess made and, admittedly selfishly, said "Not my problem" and walked over the get the milk (2% organic for context). I grab the milk and walk back over to see my dad picking up the mess. I walk closer. I look at him, he looks at me and he ignites the funny bomb that was rummaging through his brain for the last 20 second waiting for me to arrive:

"Well, now you know how thyme flies."