I told my dad that "This wine smells funny"

He replied "because it's Shartonnay".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rwwterp
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Bought a brand new Tesla Model 3 yesterday and the interior smells a little funny...

It's got kind of an Elon Musk

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SchwiftyInHere
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2016
🚨︎ report
BREAKING: Wind smells funny.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/countryboyathome
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad: β€œmy new MacBook smells funny.” Son: β€œwhat does it smell like?!”

Apple

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theDWORF
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Wife: Something smells funny.

Me under my breath: probably a clown.

Wife: what?

Me:... :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnthonyTanner
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s brown and smells funny?

Clown shit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jazeboy69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Me and my dad walked into a clock repair store today smelt something funny asked my dad what that smell was.

"Smells like a waste of time"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whyhi2001
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Why does sour milk smell funny?

Because it turns into a cheesy joke.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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Wife: something smells funny outside- like feet.

Me: well, there are three of them in the yard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brotherbrewer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2017
🚨︎ report
The mods have a new way of improving the jokes we submit. They now add smell to all the jokes and rate them according to their odour. One mod adds some floral funniness, another tweaks them with sweet smile appeal and a third makes sure they contain a few obnoxious puns.

From now on no joke will be published without their scents of humour.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œHow much does the funny smelling spray cost?”

β€œPerfume?”

β€œNo, per bottle.”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jupitersmoones
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know why laughing gas makes you laugh?

Because it smells funny.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TomSFox
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s something you question about a clown that farts?

Does it smell funny?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VintageVitaminJ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked a soldier what his rank was.

Him: "It's private."
Me: "No, it's okay, you can tell me."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weeping_pegasus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2015
🚨︎ report
A family of moles was enjoying a nice Sunday morning...

...when father mole looks over lovingly to mother mole and says, "In appreciation of all you do, we are going to brunch today!"

Mother mole and baby mole excitedly get ready and put on their Sunday best.

When they are ready to leave, mother mole climbs up the tunnel first, and exclaims, "O my, I can smell pancakes and syrup!" Baby mole comes up next and says, "I can smell eggs and bacon!"

Father mole follows behind and says, "Funny, all I can smell is molasses!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trivialpursuits
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I just sold my car and this was my add

Hi Folks, If you are a linguist then I am selling your dream car! I’m selling an Accent, a 2004 Hyundai Accent to be precise. Even if you don’t know a bunch of languages, this car is still great for you.

Just like me, it’s been around the birthday block a few times, but there’s still lots of life left in both of us, I guarantee! If you are looking for the perfect body, seek out a surgeon. If you’re looking for a car that will love you just the way you are, this is it. Now I know what you’re thinking, β€œI bet this is a junker”, but you’d be wrong. Next to my wife this is the best body I’ve ever had my hands on.

What’s wrong with it mechanically you ask? Nothing! It drives great, A/C & heat still work like a dream, breaks work, transmission shifts good, and the 1.6L engine runs great. With its age, the engine has had some parts replaced. All the belts have recently been changed, that happens with age as I just went up a few sizes myself. The washer fluid pump has been changed because it’s important to be able to have a good cry once in a while. I did an oil change in the summer and depending on how long it takes for this car to finds it’s new match, I will do another in the next month or so.

Since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I’ll give you a run down of what the interior is like. It’s what’s on the inside that matters anyway right? I am the 3rd owner of this car and the previous owner was a smoker. I don’t believe there is a cigarette smell anymore but the cloth seats do have little holes in them. I mean hey, when you play with fire you get burnt right? The stereo head unit has been replaced with a modern Pioneer as the original just wasn’t in tune with my musical needs as a Dj. The only real problem this pretty young thing has is the passenger rear seatbelt does not retract. Since I have two mini controllers I taxi around, I’ve had car seats in the back and have had no reason to replace the seatbelt yet. A new one is only a cool $250 from Hyundai but will take some time for delivery. There are still 4 working seatbelts in the car so if you’re traveling with another couple, I’m sure they’ll love to cuddle up in the middle and behind you, the driver.

The trunk is spacious enough for the average trunk but just doesn’t work out so well for hauling Dj gear. The rear seats fold as easy a poker player having their bluff called, so it will give you extra room. Not much more that I can think of to tell you about but take a look at the plethora of p

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DjBWren
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2017
🚨︎ report
I was standing next to a clown and he farted.

It smelled funny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gypsy_canuck
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2016
🚨︎ report
Can't let him live this one down.

Years ago, my father and his wife were stuffing whoppers, sour patch kids and other assorted candies into stockings. He turns to her and says in all seriousness, "Did you just fart?"

She says no, of course.

Dad: "That's funny, because I smell a whopper!"

Additional info if necessary - Whoppers are chocolate covered malt balls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Prototypexx
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2013
🚨︎ report
Old house renovations.

My dad and I were working on a 150+ year old house recently.

We go to fill the outer walls of one room with insulation, and while cutting out holes in the tops of them we smell something funny. Rats had made a single section of one wall the dedicated toilet. Without missing a beat my dad says "That's some shitty insulation."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackCloudie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2015
🚨︎ report
I dropped this one on the wife after getting back from a run about an hour ago. She groaned a bit, then laughed.

So I just got back from a run, and must have eaten something earlier, because as soon as I came inside, I ripped a really loud, nasty fart. I jokingly blamed it on her, and she laughed a bit until she smelled it. As she was busy plugging her nose I lay this on her.

Me: Well you know what they say, the one that smelt it is the one that dealt it. Her: That's not funny, I know it was you, that saying doesn't make any sense right now. Me: I think it makes a lot of scents. Wah-waaah..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuckYouPanda
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2014
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
If a clown farts

Does it smell funny

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrjaxson1111
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
If a Clown farts

Does it smell funny

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hirsty19784
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
When you find a dead clown

Something smells funny here

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERO2020
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
If a clown farts...

Does it smell funny?

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkidWilly86
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
A clown did a fart

Do you think it smells funny?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gramflakes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm so hilarious, you can sense it

People tell me all the time " You smell funny "

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blue-Faces
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Best Halloween costume idea: I'm going to ask Norm Macdonald if I can glue myself to him for an evening.

I'm going to be adhered to a social norm.

It might smell funny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trollfouridiots
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2015
🚨︎ report
Why do clowns wear deodorant?

Because the smell funny

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uncle_kinksly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2013
🚨︎ report
What happens when a clown farts?

It smells funny.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/electrolytesyo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2015
🚨︎ report
Dad joked my friend this morning

Friend: Don't you think it's kinda funny how you know it rained just because of the smell?

Me: No, I don't. But then again, I have a rather dry sense of humor.

It took him far too long to understand.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tabbou
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2014
🚨︎ report

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