Crime is getting worse where I live, so my dad decided to give me some protection and boxed up his trusty 9mm, a big and a small clip and a bunch of shells for me! [Xpost /r/funny]

https://imgur.com/2ylrnpK

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/lindymad
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 13 2016
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My 7-year-old laid this one on me today...

When asked the question, "What came first, the chicken or the egg" the boy stared out the window for a few and came back with...

"I don't know, dad, I can't crack that one."

He had no idea why I was laughing so hard.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RighteousBucks
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 03 2015
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I broke my dadjoke cherry at lunch today

I'm a fairly new dad and my wife was chopping up walnuts:

Me: my respect for walnuts has really changed for the better recently.

Wife: (looks at me funny...) Why?

Me: they've really come out of their shell...

There was an audible groan and sadly, I had to high five myself..

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/seipounds
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 14 2018
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My Dad's simplistic Jokes that I now find funny

Side Note: I'm older and moved out of the house and I find these jokes funny now. I just found this sub and wanted to share a piece of my childhood.

When I was around 10 years old, I jumped in a pool and instantly started shivering. My dad looks at me and says "Did the turtle go back in the shell?"

Another time, my older brother was making a sandwich and had it finished sitting on a plate on the counter. My brother turned around to put the stuff away in the fridge and in that minuet my dad walked up stairs grabbed the sandwich and walked back down stairs.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/lurchman
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 08 2013
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Taco Night

Grandpa: When I picked up my shell it just cracked up. Dad: Well did you tell it a funny joke? the only one laughing

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/chrisman98
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 15 2014
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