if you were expecting a punch line sorry to disappoint you. But that is the joke.
Would that be a cents off humour failure?
I paused for a second while I thought and said, βItβs you. I can tell by the voice.β
Because Dawn is tough on Greece
Unfortunately, the stairs don't talk.
I donβt understand why she feels that way.
We have always been such a happy couple and everything was fine for 3 years straight. Of course I always felt comfortable in front of her and felt like I can tell her anything. That's where I was wrong.
A few months ago I noticed that she became annoyed by my dumb jokes that were only funny to me, but that just made it even funnier to me so I continued telling all these dad jokes to her and died laughing every time.
She puts up with it because she loves me. At least I thought so.
We were always 100% honest with each other and I'm still shaken by the things she told me today.
I sent her probably one of my worst dad jokes ever (that I stole from reddit), and she just couldn't take it anymore and told me how stupid my jokes are and that she doesn't know if she'll be able to put up with it much longer.
But that's not the worst part, I actually appreciated her honesty and considered the possibility to stop with all the stupid jokes and become more serious in the relationship.
The worst part is that she lied to me for the first time in all these years. I felt like I just couldn't trust her anymore and everything I thought I knew about her as a person just became questionable. I need your advice on how to react to this huge lie...
She told me she's Sorry, but I know for a FACT that her name is Diane.
Sorry, I meant female but the emale got deleted.
Me, to my son: "Greg, someone we know says you sound like an owl."
Greg: "Who?"
Scene: Dinner for my mom's birthday at a very nice (expensive) restaurant.
Waitress: Your steak comes with a choice of the vegetable of the day or a twice baked potato.
Me: Are twice baked potatoes and refried beans prepared similar ways or is that just a naming coincidence?
W: Laughing Oh my God. Our bartender and I were just talking about funny "dad jokes" on reddit! I didn't expect to hear one in person. Do you use reddit?
M: Umm... Yeah... I actually follow r/dadjokes but I'm not a dad and
W: You should post that joke there!
I have no idea if she will see this but my wife said I had to let everyone know about a redditor interaction. I hope she does because the food was awesome and she was a fantastic waitress beyond being a fellow redditor.
I still have no idea if twice baked potatoes and refried beans have any link...
I apologize to everyone in the sub about my earlier post. I was trying to make a funny joke, but I spelled the title wrong and couldn't go back. After that, everything spiraled out of control. I thought about deleting it and pretending it never happened, even denying it's very existence, but after a moment of reflection I realized:
There's no use lying over spelled milk.
Granddad lying in hospital death bed Grandma: "Alright, write your grandson a note for him to remember you by." granddad picks up paper grandma gave him and writes a musical note on it It was his grand finally.
And das not good.
All credit for this joke goes to /u/Xiphers's Mom. I tried cross posting it here to give full credit to OP, but this sub only allows text posts. Here's the original post: https://old.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/bxeoqo/my_mom_has_a_board_with_attachable_letters_and/?ref=share&ref_source=link
At the Thorchestra.
http://i.imgur.com/GhtW3Vq.jpg
Credit to /u/Repulzz for their post.
I wasn't sure on the crossposting rules, but I really thought this joke was r/dadjokes material.
The fourth album is often the best.
Credit to the original submitters. Thanks for keeping me funny, dads.
EDIT: Black Sabbath, Paranoid, Master of Reality
http://i.imgur.com/3foPoUt.gif
I admit I laughed
Cause its il-eagle
"Customer asked me if I wanted to see a picture of his pride and joy."
I take no credit, found on r/funny.
My kid's school is having a jogaton to raise money for the schools garden. I thought the kids would get a kick out of some funny motivational posters with vegetable/herbs/fruits puns. Please help me Reddit as I'm not nearly as creative as you.
We are working on a new web service where users can "spin up" new instances of a specific technology. Similar to this: http://trydrupal8.com/
We are looking for ideas on funny call to actions on the pages header. We have the following so far:
Spin me up Scotty Spin me up before you go go
I figured I would put this out there to the reddit community to see what we could come up with... :)
It's getting late, baby is napping, wife is starting to make dinner, I'm browsing Reddit in the other room. Suddenly from the other room I hear:
> Wife: "Can you pick up the dog poop before it gets dark?" > > Me: Pause. "But the poop is already dark!" > > Wife: Pretends not to hear. > > Me: "heh heh heh"
I thought it was funny.
Wife: Sure is windy outside.
Me: Yeah but it's Thursday.
Two minutes go by...
Wife: That's not funny.
Me: Too late it's going on the Reddit.
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/4acp4c/when_dad_protests_water_prices/
From the original post title:
> My 3 year old made me run up the stairs after yelling, "Dada! There's a sea of water on the counter!"
http://imgur.com/a/oFCLx
.
Stolen from https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/3lauok/sex_after_40/
http://imgur.com/NVoH9lm
While my dad does not do this i have seen other dad's do it, leave it to beer to know what dad's say, lol.
(BTW this is a X:post from http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/2z9xk6/dammit_dad/ someone directed me here ^^;)
My dad is a typical dadjokes guy with the funnies. I pulled out my phone and loaded up this subreddit and handed him the phone saying "read these jokes". He looked at me with a grin and said "I already know them all"... we both started laughing and i what made it funnier is that i knew id post it straight to reddit :-)
Saw this picture on the frontpage
Read this comment: http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/2je1ry/weather_girl_wore_green_dress_to_work/claurx3
Kids tell me German teacher at school always finds things funny. I thought his strange as they only tell the wurst jokes.
Are dads actually allowed in this Reddit, or is it only for second hand reports?
http://i.imgur.com/S41z9Y3.jpg
Joke: https://i.imgur.com/pDsjrHw.jpg
Thread: http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/2hvqho/thanks_dad/
