Back in school, my favorite teacher was Mrs. Turtle

Weird name, but she tortoise well.

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👤︎ u/k_woz1978
📅︎ Sep 22 2022
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I signed up for my company's 401k,

but I don't think I can run that far.

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👤︎ u/lat_fyr
📅︎ Jul 01 2022
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the lamp is broken, and no one was home but some mischievous animals.

These are the sus-pets.

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👤︎ u/stratum01
📅︎ Jul 29 2022
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My dad dropped this last night

OK so a little background. My dad and stepmom recently adopted a chiwawa who had been abused by its previous owners. At first he was extremely skiddish but eventually warmed up and now is a pretty chill, albeit goofy, little guy. My brother was petting him last night and out of no where he gets defensive and turns and bites his leg.

My step mom goes, "Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. Hes still funny like that sometimes. Isn't he (my dad)?"

My dad non chalantly replies, "I laugh at him all the time."

Me and my brother were just losing it.

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📅︎ May 26 2014
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