Funny Nurse Puns

A nurse comes up to the first man and says, “Congratulations! You are the proud father of a pair of twins!”

“That’s funny...” the man said, “I work for Twin Peaks!”

Another nurse comes into the room and goes to the second man and says, “Congratulations! Your wife has just given birth to triplets!”

“That’s funny...” the second man said, “ I work for the 3M company!”

Yet another nurse comes into the room and says to the third man, “Congratulations! Your wife has just given birth to quadruplets!”

“That’s so funny...” said the third man, “I work at the Four Seasons Hotel!”

The last man is groaning and whining in obvious agony, “What’s wrong?” the other men ask.

“I work at Seven Eleven.” He replied.

Happy Fathers Day!

My wife gave birth to our first son on Friday. This morning they came to get him for his circumscion and we were feeding him a bottle. The nurse said we were going to have to cut it short. I said ok, but not too short. And nobody laughed. They looked at me like an idiot. Hopefully the internet will appreciate this.

EDIT: Didn't expect this to garner so much attention, but I guess it deserves some elaboration. Yes, this actually happened and we had our son circumcised. Everything went well without any complications. I made this decision with my wife based on hygienic, traditional, and aesthetic reasons, and I am confident in my decision. I am circumcised, and I'm happy with it.

There are times in my son's life that i will need to make decisions for him, and this was one of those times. I understand that some people think I have committed a terrible crime against my son, but I disagree. There are many arguments for both sides, and I think these decisions should be made by family and doctors when the bridge comes to be crossed.

I'm not going to go through and answer all of the questions and insults individually, I have a newborn to take care off, but y'all feel free to hash it out.

Also, I still think my joke was pretty damn funny.

Dad: Will I be able to play the piano after?

Nurse: Yea of course!

Dad: Oh cool! I can't even do that right now!

Edit: Alright guys! I get it, old post! I just thought it was pretty funny considering the circumstances.

my dad had these tubes in his nose, with oxygen when he woke up, and the nurse was around doing medical stuff..

Dad: Is these tubes necessary? can I take them out?

Nurse: I can try turning them off?

nurse is turning the medical ventilator off ...

My dad grasps for air

Nurse jumps in shock turning the ventilator on again and turns to look at my stupid father laughing

Nurse: "YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE, DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!"

My dad was pretty woozy at the time and still he made the practical joke of the year

Haha! ahh I love that old bastard..

So I had to the hospital because I got testivular torsion. To figure out why, I had to pass an echography. As the nurse rub the echograph on my balls (which was nice btw, try it) and dad says: "Congrats son, it's a boy!!! He looks like a dickhead, just like you!!!" My morphined self found it really funny.

When I was finished, the nurse put gauze on my arm and told me to put pressure on the spot and raise my arm in the air. She then said, "Let me know if you start to feel funny."
I told her I'd think of a few jokes and get back to her.

Dad: Will I be able to play the piano after? Nurse: Yea of course! Dad: Oh cool! I can't even do that right now! Edit: Alright guys! I get it, old post! I just thought it was pretty funny considering the circumstances.