Funny Mayan Puns

Days and weeks before there was multiple posts a day about this. And now that we're finally here they've realised they're wrong. What's next? Will people start claiming 12/21/2020 was the wrong date?

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Please see this post for additional context and maybe laughs.

I'm on a quest to determine what would be the most fitting ethnicities of all the characters if they existed in the real world. The problem is, this is Final Fantasy. All sorts of cultures are gonna be mixed in behind the inspiration of anything, not just the characters.

To recap from my previous post, I used Cloud's hometown of Nibelheim, which name is based on a world in Nordic myth, and the etymology of the word that's his last name, Strife, to come to a compromise and declared him as Danish. Not the cleanest process, but most characters are gonna have to settle for approximates like this.

Meanwhile, I came to Sephiroth's ethnicity by taking the origins/attributes of his parents' names, Japanese for Hojo and Italian for Lucrecia. But at the same time, his name is taken from the Tree of Life that is cornerstone to the Kabbalah of Jewish faith, and he clearly thinks he's Jesus. Throughout the Bible, tax collectors, specifically Jews who worked for the Roman government that Jesus regularly protested, are spoken of as traitors to their faith. The irony is THICK. No wonder Seph wanted a new mom, hahahaha!

So, who's next? I didn't think of any particular order and am open to suggestions, but I guess I'll start off with the main cast of the original game and then move on into other games.

-

First things first, Tifa and Aerith. Interestingly, both of their first names are derived from the same origin: the Tiferet, a particular sefira, or branch, of the Sefirot in the Kabbalah. Now, I'm not gonna get into the discussion about whether or not that makes Aerith or Tifa Jewish, since it's just their first names and they clearly don't think they're Jesus.

Since Tifa, like Cloud, comes from Nibelheim, that would make her Danish too, wouldn't it? Though her last name, Lockhart, is actually of Scottish/German origin, from the words "lock" and "hart", meaning "hardy".

Oh, wait. Cloud's surname is also kinda German-ish too. Aw, what a perfect couple.

Now, I don't remember where it was that I heard that Nomura apparently said he designed Aerith as distinctly more "Western" and Tifa more "Eastern" to show their dichotomy, but I do remember there was that whole "fiasco" in 2019 from the JP fandom that complained about Aerith's face and thus she was redesigned to be "cuter" for the final game. ([Tokyos

Unedited; questionable language

Bret had a lot of skanks to choose from. Skanks wrasslin' pigs. Skanks in mud. Ambre was spared from elimination on the first show by stripper Jackie's voluntary exit, then impressed Bret with her kissing skills. Daisy...was Daisy. Bret wanted to bang her louder and harder than the Liberty Bell. And did. On the minus side, Bret wondered if Ambre was really there for him or was just getting carried away with her competitive spirit, and then wondered if Daisy shared more than eyeliner with her live-in ex-boyfriend Charles. This latter point was the cause of much controversy amongst the remaining skanks, which resulted in a verbal lashing and lots of drink throwing at Daisy's factory-sealed head. Destiney showed eleventh hour good sense and thus got the boot, which left Daisy and Ambre as our final two. That Bret Michaels is one lucky man.

We begin after last week's elimination, with Bret congratulating Ambre and Daisy for being the final two and announcing that they're all going to Cancun. Ambre says this all seems like a dream. When Ambre sees the Oprah where Dr. Oz talks about night terrors, something is totally going to click into place for her. Daisy adjusts her boobs. The three of them and Big John crack a Bret's Brew, and the girls head off to pack.

Bret and his lovely ladies board a private jet to Mexico. Oh, Bret and his chlamydia-infested carbon footprint. They land in Cancun, where Bret will doubtlessly hook up with some wayward Real World cast member and forget about these bitches altogether. They head to the hotel, and Bret says he's taken time to plan some really special things. I'm totally sure he was on Travelocity all night, looking for the best deals. When they arrive at the hotel, our heroic threesome is treated to traditional Mayan dancing. You know Daisy tried to impress Bret with her knowledge by saying, "Hey, didn't these people, like, read a poem at Bill Clinton's inauguration or something? That was totally rad."

Daisy and Ambre have to share a room, which seems pretty cruel. They get teeny shorts, calla lilies, and Bret Mail. "Hello, my sexy ladies, welcome to Me Cancun. Enjoy your gifts and I will see you tonight for dinner. Love, Bret." The girls have a balcony with a canopy bed that overlooks the ocean. Ugh, I don't even want to know what Dateline is going to find when they bring their blacklight to this particular spot. Something looking like it came from the "Caves" episode of Planet Earth, I'

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

Here's the original post but I will be restating what I can to help clear up some mistakes I made. This will be long, I will go in chronological order of events within the storyline! Same deal as before, Ateez and Halateez will be differentiated by bolding, so Hongjoong is the Ateez member while Hongjoong is the Halateez member.

So, this will literally most likely just be the diary films and albums, since reddit has a text limit and my main theory document on google docs is at 56 pages of theory. For the sake of storytelling, I wont separate them into sections/mvs like I did the prior post, so Ill just indicate where each piece of info comes from.

Lets begin. God help me.

Origin of Halateez

>Thanxx represents the origin of Halateez, (Which, I'll likely make an entire post for in the near future). Halateez are living in a dystopian universe, with a dictator government. Emotions are banned, and the population is controlled by a yellow smoke that makes them live in an illusion.
>
>This takes place after the fourth industrial revolution, when the government has extended human life to 200 years. To go with that, they enact 40 years of compulsory education. This education is focused on keeping people in line by restricting human emotions.
>
>Halateez seek power to overthrow the government and rebel. There are several reoccurring themes confirming the Halateez from wonderland are these members, including the flag shot, the flag bearers and even a section of choreo.
>
>In their Rhythm Ta stage, they rebel against the government openly and violently, killing those who oppose them with little remorse. These halateez are openly aggressive, with little regard for life outside their goal.
>
>They are mostly successful with their rebellion, with Hongjoong taking a leadership position and delivering a speech
>
>"People, open your eyes, for our lives keep your mind. Now is the time for freedom if we try! Listen, look, write, OPEN YOUR EYES!"
>
>The headlines earlier mention art, dance and music are considered disobedient to the government, all things halateez value, which explains their desire for the revolution to begin with.

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Here's the original post but I will be restating what I can to help clear up some mistakes I made. This will be long, I will go in chronological order of events within the storyline! Same deal as before, Ateez and Halateez will be differentiated by bolding, so Hongjoong is the Ateez member while Hongjoong is the Halateez member.

So, this will literally most likely just be the diary films and albums, since reddit has a text limit and my main theory document on google docs is at 56 pages of theory. For the sake of storytelling, I wont separate them into sections/mvs like I did the prior post, so Ill just indicate where each piece of info comes from.

Lets begin. God help me.

Origin of Halateez

>Thanxx represents the origin of Halateez, (Which, I'll likely make an entire post for in the near future). Halateez are living in a dystopian universe, with a dictator government. Emotions are banned, and the population is controlled by a yellow smoke that makes them live in an illusion.
>
>This takes place after the fourth industrial revolution, when the government has extended human life to 200 years. To go with that, they enact 40 years of compulsory education. This education is focused on keeping people in line by restricting human emotions.
>
>Halateez seek power to overthrow the government and rebel. There are several reoccurring themes confirming the Halateez from wonderland are these members, including the flag shot, the flag bearers and even a section of choreo.
>
>In their Rhythm Ta stage, they rebel against the government openly and violently, killing those who oppose them with little remorse. These halateez are openly aggressive, with little regard for life outside their goal.
>
>They are mostly successful with their rebellion, with Hongjoong taking a leadership position and delivering a speech
>
>"People, open your eyes, for our lives keep your mind. Now is the time for freedom if we try! Listen, look, write, OPEN YOUR EYES!"
>
>The headlines earlier mention art, dance and music are considered disobedient to the government, all things halateez value, which explains their desire for the revolution to begin with.