Funny Maine Puns

Imagine a Maine accent, as a kid on a farm in 1924.

> As kids, they walked up to their mother and ask
"Mom, Is pig's sold?"
Their mother yells at them to correct their grammar.
"PIGS ARE SOLD!"

Commence giggling and running away as their mother realizes what they tricked her into saying.

(The joke is to say the mothers line quickly and drop the "D" like 'ole time Mainers do)
I'll never forget this joke. It's the only one he ever told me.

What was funny in the 1920's is completely different I guess.

No jokes here, just a request for some help/clever words. (admin - delete if you're looking just for jokes).

My 12yo son has decided to do a school speech on dad jokes! He is attempting to categorise different types (in a comedic way if possible), Herding cats is easier.

As a Dad my joke are funny (mainly just to me) and off the cuff (so no use in a planned setting); I am requesting some help from those dads more wordy than myself; looking to impart sage words.

Any help will be appreciated and if the speech goes well i will post it.

thanks in advance

When I was about 15, I asked my parents if I could see "The Matrix." At that time, if I asked to see an R-rated movie, the rule was we waited till it came to video (yes, at the time it was videotapes) and my parents would watch it first without me to decide if they were comfortable with me watching it.

They watched it, and the next day, my dad asked me what I thought The Matrix was- I said it was some kind of group of cops or something that could do cool aerial fighting moves.

He said, "Unfortunately, no one can be told what The Matrix is... You have to see it for yourself."

For those who are unfamiliar, this is exactly the line used by one of the main characters when he introduces the concept of The Matrix.

No one? Just me? I thought it was funny. Oh well.