I was working as a floor nurse on a medical ward, and I was quite popular, as I was often the charge nurse and I was very fair and well-liked, and I also enjoyed being in the "float pool". I liked to meet new people and learn new things. I went to every floor and worked with damn near every nurse, LVN or tech in the hospital. One afternoon, two LVNs I knew from the surgery floors ran up to me: "Tracy! Tracy! Maggot guy is downstairs on our ward!" Maggot guy? I had not heard of Maggot guy! Here is the tale that they told me: Once upon a time, a middle-aged man parked himself in his easy chair, right in front of the television, and did not leave for 3 months. He was wearing gym shorts, a t-shirt and striped tube socks. He did not get up even to relieve himself- he did it right there in the chair. His friends (and I use the term loosely) brought him cases and cases of Pepsi. They finally called an ambulance for him, when he was covered in filth, with flies buzzing around him and smelled of rotting feces. When asked why he didn't leave the chair, he said, "I couldn't, I was running a marathon and my feet were moving." So, he's obviously crazy, right? He also suffered from stasis ulcers- on his ass and in sock shaped wounds on his legs. His legs were maggot infested. So the LVNs report that the two of them took him into the shower, used surgical soap to clean him, but the maggots kept pouring out. You could see, in his bones, muscles and connective tissues, tracks and holes that lead deep below the surface where the maggots had burrowed in. After a soaking wet, exhausting half hour, they placed him in bed, as the medical team was rounding, and needed to see the patient before he went for surgical amputation of his gangrenous feet. He was laying in bed, oozing blood and maggots, when the intern came in. The intern had been assigned by his seniors to assess the wounds and report back. He took one look at the wounds, gagged, and ran out of the room to report to the resident and attending. They thought it hilarious that he couldn't handle this disgusting case. The resident goes in next. He took one look at Maggot Guy's feet, turned around, and puked right in the bathroom sink. Once he was done, he not only ran out of the room but he ran off the floor, muttereing something about how he didn't sign up for THIS. The attending did not disguise his amusement. He went into the room, chuckling out loud, and he whipped back the sheet- and he threw up right th

A Scion of Many Worlds

It took several days for the storm to let up. Thankfully the tubers had a tendency to float and more than a few game animals sought shelter VERY close to their little cave, if not in it. Waking up to borespines in the bed had been a thing, but free food was free food. They couldn’t keep gathering firewood so Magrica taught Jasper a trick to use Axiom and superheat some stones to turn them into a small oven. Coupling that with a few points of glowing Axiom light that Jasper maintained by imbuing small quartz crystals in the ceiling and walls and the cave was growing into a comfortable campsite.

A campsite in which Jasper and Magrica had gotten to know every little bit of each other. Both physically and otherwise. When they weren’t experimenting in exactly what they could do with each other they were sharing stories. Jasper had gone into the many insane drinks that Horace had mixed together while they were in zero gravity and the difficulty in mixing drinks when the drinks themselves were trying to fly away. But he’d managed to figure out a system in constant and slow movement, usually walking in a long slow circle with magnetic boots, after that he had the privilege of serving pretty much everyone on the ship at least once as his little walks had gotten a lot of attention.

Magrica’s stories on the other hand had included long descriptions of the many weapons she had picked up over the years and on what she broke them on. Short of her own body everything from axes to maces, hammers to spears, swords to just about anything made of metal, stone or wood had all proven to frail and flimsy for continual use.

Usually she got the best use out of things with a point on the end when she broke them off in the eye socket of her opponents. Apparently all of Lakran had different forms of massive beasts. Elephants would be downright dwarfish in size compared to the vast majority of local wildlife.

And Magrica and her people’s entire way of life is based around not only punching outside of their weight class, but having a blast while doing it. Apparently a girl isn’t even allowed outside of her mother’s sight if she can’t take on something the size of a rhino by herself.

After that though they’re all but pitched out the front door into independence and told that the world is their plaything. Those too stupid to temper themselves die in a blaze of glory, or on a barroom floor, and the ones with wisdom live lives with an ever growing mountain o

Hi guys, this is me again. After that awful experience in the basement, I've carried a flashlight with me at all times. I don't want to be caught in the dark with an awful creature.

Fluffles has been doing well. I gave him some nice food. I got a note in the mail which said I was now working as a waiter. Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

I arrived at 8, and grabbed the rules on the door.

Rule 1: Never serve more than 5 tables at a time.

Rule 2: Never serve to anybody wearing a blue shirt and brown shorts.

Rule 3: Should the man in the black trench coat arrive, run. Hide in the break room.

Rule 4: If you hear a scream coming from below you, stomp on the ground.

Rule 5: Should maggots appear on the floor, never step on any of them. Get onto an empty table.

Rule 6: New customers rarely come in, so monitor the security systems using the tablet on the cash register. Same rules apply as yesterday.

Rule 7: Ignore any rule claiming to be rule 0. We prefer quality over nonsense.

Rule 8: If you see me and I start walking to you, find the real me. I'm in the break room.

Rule 9: You can leave at 3.

I started my shift, a few customers came in. A nice looking family. I asked for their order, "Water." "Apple juice please!" "I'll have some soda." I got them their drinks. "Which pizza would you like?" I asked. "Medium pepperoni" "Small cheese pizza please!" "Ill have some wood shavings on mine." I stared at him, confused. "Stop it Mark, these jokes aren't funny." "Sorry Susan." "It's fine, but please at don't do it in public." "Sorry, sir." The wife said. They ate, they seemed to be enjoying talking to one another. They left shortly after. Don't worry, according to the manager no customers are harmed by the entities. I felt a small weight in my shirt pocket. I took it out and unfolded it. A note.

"Hi nice waiter! I wrote this note so you can know, I've seen some weird things here. Please be careful!" Huh. So not all customers are demons out for blood. I'll have to remember that. That kid was nice though. I looked around, I was about to walk but I looked down. Maggots. Maggots everywhere. I got onto the families table. They slithered around and then disappeared. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SOMEONE PLEASE HELP MEEEEEE" I heard a scream. I stomped. The screaming stopped.

I decided to check the basement cameras. Saw the centipede on camera 2. Closed the door. Looked up. A customer! I walked up to them...

I've heard a lot of different opinions about this, so I just wanted to do a majority vote to see who is most loved by in the community.

View Poll

EPISODE ONE:

Galadriel Narrates as we see GANDALF putting on traveling clothes

Galadriel: Many years ago the Dark Lord Sauron was defeated but a Ring containing his essence survived. A King named Isildur claimed the Ring for himself rather than destroying it. The arrogance! Kingdoms fell, the Ring was lost and we elves were left to pick up the pieces. Now rumors of the Ring being found have reached us. Whether it be by a boy or girl we know not. And so I send my agent, Gandalf the Grey, to find it before the Enemy does.

Cut to sweeping landscape shots accompanied by epic if uninspired music. Gandalf watches a group of elves torture GOLLUM demanding to know where the Ring is.

Gandalf: He isn't the one I'm looking for.

Cut to the SHIRE, a dreary, washed out place full of mud and shot through a blue filter. ROSIE COTTON stands on the banks of the Brandywine River along with LOBELIA SACKVILLE-BAGGINS who shoves her into a barrel as part of an initiation ceremony. Other hobbit women close the lid and nail it shut, Rosie is sent down the river, nearly drowning until she manages to learn to steer the barrel.

From there we cut to the Green Dragon at night. Rosie is greeted with tepid congratulations from the bar patrons at becoming a full inkeeper. We see FRODO, SAM, MERRY, and PIPPIN sitting glumly at a table drinking ale.

NOTE FROM TOLKIEN ESTATE: Remember that hobbits are short, cheerful folk about four feet tall.

NOTE FROM RAFE: okay, you know the lore. We'll do that.

NOTE FROM AMAZON: Cast actors that are just shy of average height. We can't afford CGI or little people. Peter Dinklage is too expensive.

NOTE FROM RAFE: I always was going to do that. People won't take our show seriously if there are short people. It has to be adapted for the modern audience.

Pippin fingers a mushroom that he stole from Farmer Maggot.

Sam: Fuck, Pippin, You can't keep stealing like that.

Pippin: I have to Sam, my family is starving.

We see Paladin Took over at another table gambling, fondling women, spending the last red cent of the Took clan.

Merry: Let's have another round, we have a long day tomorrow with Bilbo's party. It should be a lot of fun.

By the look on his face it's clear it will be anything but fun.

Rosie: Don't you think you should get back to your wife Merry?

Merry: I suppose so. I do love her.

By the look on his face we aren't entirely sure that's true.

Pippin: Frodo, how is your Uncle Bilbo, he has been quite strange

Do your worst!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

Hey, what's up everyone. I'm now rewatching and analyzing ROTI, and as always, here's a list of my thoughts or reactions to various moments here and there. Though since I've been doing this for a good amount of time now, I would appreciate it if I got some feedback on my series. Are my posts too long, or just right (I know for sure I can get really detail oriented)? Also, are they coherent enough? Am I too nitpicky at times? And of course, if there's any other category of feedback aside from this, that would also be appreciated. (Zoey's voice) You like it, right? Anyways, thank you to those who have actually been following through this and taking time to read through my stuff. I definitely appreciate it. Now without further ado, here's my thoughts on ROTI from episodes 1 - 3

• (Episode 1: “Bigger! Badder! Brutal-er!”)
• Damn, right away we start with an intern joke
• Owen screaming “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” when the boat passes the dock is emitted with the boat not quite fully off screen, and subsequently with Owen still on screen since he is at the end of the boat. And he doesn’t change his animation at all, so he screams “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” through his teeth while still dancing happily. Not actually something to be pissed off about, but I actually just thought it was funny. It is also ‘CinemaSin’ worthy tho XD
• Not the biggest fan of the love at first sight implications with Mike and Zoey, as some others have said
• Dakota and Anne Maria’s beef was funny
• Anne Maria is based here
  • Staci’s voice is genuinely painful to listen to, but that’s nothing new
• Damn my boi Sam was able to keep his game guy despite the boat being blown up and the contestants getting launched into the water
• Hilarious Scott moment
• Hah get fuckin savaged on Staci
• As you might know, I was neutral to Dawn. I found her ability to see people’s past or predict the future to not be in the scope of what a TD character can usually do, and subsequently a form of bad writing. But ya boi actually decided to look into aura reading on the internet. And it is actually a thing. And it turns out it is possible to actually look into people’s pasts or futures by reading their auras. But it’s apparently some kind of gift only certain people have, with said people usually being labeled as “psychics”. And psychics are actually a real life thing,

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

NB: 100% opinionated and personalized list. Choices limited to my personal viewing history, and shows were chosen based on originality, creativity and uniqueness (as those are 3 main factors I look for in TV shows).

Top 25 TV Shows of 2021:

• 25. Reservation Dogs (FX on Hulu)

Reservation Dogs follows a group of 4 Indigenous teenagers living in rural Oklahoma, as they try to make and save money by almost any means necessary, to get away from their boring and despondent lives. It's easy-going, thoughtful, and quite realistic besides the occasional moments of surrealism. The dialogue feels very authentic, and it, along with its charming and slightly quirky characters, provides a lot of witty humor. It's also fun and youthful, especially for a series that aims to capture the mundane of living in a small town such as the one it portrays. But as if like a foreshadowing of what's to be revealed later on, you can sense the dark cloud hanging over the characters' heads from the very 1st episode.

• 24. Invincible (Amazon Prime Video)

Ironically with its old-school art style and visuals, the most attractive thing about Invincible are the bloody, gory and gruesome action sequences. But it has much to give in plot as well; intriguing mysteries, interesting conflicts, thoughtful commentaries on humanity etc., making it one of the better offerings from the comic-book catalog we've seen in a while.

• 23. Supervillain: The Making of Tekashi 6ix9ine (Showtime)

There seems to be a recent uptick in documentaries lately, but most of them don't come with the creative execution seen here in Supervillain: The Making of Tekashi 6ix9ine. Narrated by Giancarlo Esposito, and retracing the rise to fame of one Daniel Hernandez a.k.a Tekashi 6ix9ine, it may surprised you how much of a multifaceted story is told here. From corny fashions, to gangs, to domestic abuse etc., this isn't just a documentary about the controversial rapper, but also one about the attention craved social-media age we live in, where people are constantly exploiting it for fame and money.

• 22. Threesome (Viaplay)

Threesome is a relationship drama that sho

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

*Sorry, typo, I meant bitch. My flatmate is a fucking bitch. And unfortunately moving out isn't really an option for me.

Clara seemed great at first. Of course, she did. I mean I probably wouldn't have moved in if she showed her true face from the start.

No, that's a lie. I was crazy desperate and all the red flags in the world wouldn't have kept me from moving in. My only other option was becoming homeless as I was about to be kicked out of my uni flat after graduating. On top of that, the housing market in my town was quite literally hell so I was happy when I found a place that I could actually afford.

Clara sounded nice on the phone and invited me right over to have a look at the place. Two bedrooms, one living room with an open kitchen, and a decently sized bathroom. She greeted me with a friendly smile and showed me around.

The interior was a bit minimalistic, mostly black and white furniture, one or two pieces of art. The kitchen was clean and she had a shit ton of spices.

"We can share everything in the kitchen, I think it's easiest that way? If you don't want to share groceries that's fine of course but if you wanna use any of my stuff that's cool," she said during our tour.

"Oh, sharing is fine," I smiled. I wanted her to like me. I needed this room. And I wasn't sure whether me being a guy might be a problem.

I didn't have to be nervous, however, Clara adored me. She called me the very next morning after the tour and offered me the room. And I accepted right away. I felt a great vibe both from her and the place.

And I have to admit when she smiled at me during that first apartment tour with her poison green eyes, I may have felt a little mesmerized too.

But not anymore. No, not after going through hell with that bitch.

--

During our tour, she never showed me her own room which I later learned was the opposite of the sterile and clean apartment. Her room was full of glasses and containers filled with different stuff I didn't recognize. She had all sorts of different candles and a shit ton of books on the floor, under her bed, and on the shelves. There were around 15 pillows on her bed and a bunch of lamps everywhere.

Clara never actually showed me her room, I broke in one time when she wasn't home. Yeah, I know that sounds bad but there was a reason for it I swear. The consequences of the war that my flatmate herself initiated.

It all started with the passive-aggressive note she left on the fridge door without a reason in the

I won't be doing that today!

You think the title is funny and clickbaity, no? Do you think that I’m trying to draw your attention with it, slowly pulling you into this story for upvotes and awards and shit like that?

Trust me, that wasn’t even my slightest intention. All I want you to get from this story is how I feel day in and day out while living with this shit every single fucking day.

My name is Simon. Hi there, I guess. Listen, make yourself comfortable, grab some popcorn and a soda and pay close attention to what I’m going to say. I’m writing this here because it may happen that whoever is after me could someday catch, kidnap me, or worse.

Although, I’ve been fortunate enough to get out alive from all my twenty-seven close encounters with death itself (yes, I’ve counted them all, and no, I hadn’t seen the Reaper yet; if I will, I’ll make sure to let you all know).

I was thinking of only telling you this chapter of the story. I could tell you more, but I usually don’t particularly appreciate telling dragged-out stories. Or read them. (Meanwhile proceeds to write almost 6000 words).

So anyway, let me get down to business. Pay close attention because this shit’s going to be so scary that it would be best if you’d put on some brown pants. I did before I wrote this stuff. You know, just in case.

When I was 14 years old (I’m 29 now), I got hit by a car. I just heard the tires screeching before everything went black. I kept hearing people either laughing, screaming, crying, dying, or asking me for help in that blackness—a cacophony of voices. When I woke up, the first person I saw was the doctor. He had a mangled face, and I let out a huge scream. My mom and dad jumped out of their chairs; at least, they looked alright.

Then I saw a demon playing tick-tack-toe with the ghost of a man who was missing his right eye and half of his face. That guy must have been funny when he was alive; he was wearing a yellow shirt with the words DEEZ NUTZ written in fading red color. Then he turned around, and I saw a massive gaping hole in the back of his head. Maggots squirmed and squished and ate his brain again and again for what looked like an eternity.

The demon won the game, by the way. I don’t know if they played for anything, money, crack, or cryptocurrency from another dimension or fucking NFTs for that matter, but the demon started dancing like a lunatic. And he laughed, and laughed and laughed while looking at me.

“He’s in shock!” I heard the doctor screaming. He looked like an

When I got home, they were still there.