Funny Dnd Puns

My story is from my first DND session, which took place around a year ago. I am playing a tank, and the party is fighting a group of wolves. One of the wolves are injured and limping. There's one other wolf left.

I had been rolling terribly all night. I'm talking 4s, 3s, and a few Nat 1s, type of bad. But I wasn't going to let it ruin the game for me! Still wanting to stay in character, I decide to ask the DM if I can pick up the injured wolf and throw it into the other. I roll a Nat 20, and being quite strong to begin with, my character kills both wolves on impact. The whole table is shocked but we all just burst with laughter. This was also my first ever Nat 20. Good stuff!

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I remember two as a DM.

• The players in my Theros campaign stopped to use beast talk to chat with some monkeys about the whereabouts of a cyclops. People were crying and speechless from laughter. The conversation was priceless. Every decision for several sessions after involved debating whether they should find some monkeys and get their view

• The players walked into a ceiling magnet trap and were attacked by some very weak flying mobs. Strength checks and attacks with disadvantage abounded. As my wife the fighter in the party was pinned in her armor to the ceiling and failed her strength check to pull her weapon off the ceiling she asks ‘so can I hit it with my shoulder and how much damage will that do?’ The visual had me crying laughing.

I was playing a game on discord with a friend from a while back, and it was this game where you start off with getting classes, and the objective is to move spaces all the way to end, which i belive was 150 spaces. The classes whent from things like assasin to succubus to beserker and the things you could do to other players ranged from giving them stds to exploding them. i remeber the game was on a website and thats it

Okay this will be VERY short but I would like to share this, so the party is fighting some guards because one of the party members tried to be a murderhobo, so the dragonborn tries to be a funny person and asks: "Can I run and cry?" So i jokingly make them roll for it, they roll a nat 1. So I get to describe how it goes down: "So the dragonborn starts to run off in shame due to some failures in the fight, though she trips on her own feet and falls flat on to the ground, a little whimper is heard before it develops into full on wailing, heard by literally all of the town, and the party begins to see a wet puddle form around the dragonborn's head." Ah, good times.

There is a school DnD club in my school and it's so far awesome. I have multiple funny stories but I'm going to tell the most recent one. (I'm new to DnD so my knowledge of the words isn't the best) We had just escaped from the "police" and were in a new town. Of course the first thing our dragonborn decided to do was to find somewhere that sold pies. He went to the bakery which had a sweet old retired halfling rogue running the place. The dragonborn continually asked for a pie flavoured pie and angered the halfling to the point where he stabbed him in the gut. My character luckily being a cleric, albeit a blood cleric, went into the bakery to follow/check up on the dragonborn (he's notorious for getting himself hurt) and found him bleeding, healed the dragonborn, and then left the bakery. Without saying a word. The dragonborn ended up getting a blood crust with raspberry filling pie. (Made with his own blood) Almost everyone else got a pie later and my character got a pie shell which she placed on her head. She ended up giving the pie shell to a young girl who was crying to try and comfort her, but failed to comfort her and made her cry more. The reason she was crying was because another person (I don't remember what he is) decided to try and steal from the child's father and also failed, so he ended up slapping that dude's butt. It was very chaotic.

I GIVE SOME YOU GIVE SOME.

A tribe for talking goats who live off of vodka and string cheese, capable of walking on two legs.

A silent barn, who tells stories through magical girl transformations and anime style flashbacks and only tells of his struggle to become a bard. And he doesnt know sign language, so he uses Naruto hand signs.

a vaguely occult group who worship a twelve year old who writes them on wattpad.

I'm curious how many people on this sub have played or are playing now. It's fair popular like but dunno how many of those players are here.

In one of my games I currently have an alcoholic, Wisdom 1 human fighter who has managed to bullshit their way into having an audience with the gods next session to claim the title of God of death (because we killed the last two) 😂. It's a fantastic, ridiculous game and I just want an excuse to talk about it and listen to other people's stories about it.

So, I've been sober for a couple years now, and I thought this would be a hilarious town theme to write. None of my party members are in recovery programs, so I'll be entertained to see how long it takes them to catch onto this settlement's quirk. I've got a few initial ideas below, but I'm looking to see if anybody has ideas for themed side quests or other clichés that could be written into NPC conversation or design of the town. Feel free to use this idea for your own campaigns if you are homebrewing. I'm a newer DM, so any insights are much appreciated!

The town of Muddlebrook is a relatively peaceful town west of Slyvonae upon the westward flowing river of Aridmare. Many monks and clerics of all races find their home here, but many others also resident here to enjoy a peaceful life away from the debaucheries of Buccaneer Bay to the east.

View of Outsiders:

Outsiders of all races are welcome, no matter what your background is. However, outsiders should be warned not to mention alcoholic beverages and to definitely not drink in public. Muddlebrook is a sober town that practices the 12 Steps of Whispered Whiskies.

Village Leader: Human Cleric Billy Williamson

Billy Williamson is the lead cleric and mayor in Muddlebrook and is the founder/writer of the organization and book called "Whispered Whiskeys". Every villager in the town is a recovering alcoholic or married to a recovering alcoholic. Billy leads the village in a new design for living that prohibits alcohol -- living happy, joyous, and free without their liquid dependencies.

Quirks and NPC conversation points:

- Upon entry to the village, there will be a collection box and a NPC will say "If you can spare a coin or two for supplies, our village space, and support of central service, that would be greatly appreciated. If not, you are always more than welcome to visit."

-Coffee and water are free at any restaurant and tavern. All restaurants and forums will have chairs arranged in circles.

-All gatherings and meals will be initiated by a quiet time followed by a version of the Serenity Prayer. "God, grant us the peace to accept things that are unchangeable, grant us courage to change the rest, and grant us wisdom to know which is which."

-Every time a NPC talks, it will begin with "Hi I'm ______, and I live in Muddlebrook". If there are other NPCs around, they will stop whatever they are doing and say "Hi _____."

-Instead of saying "goodbye", NPCs will depart by saying "Keep

I’d like to start with mine. So one of my first parties I was a part of In a 3.5E about a year ago we were venturing to some old ruins, on the way we were ambushed by some goblins and a couple of Orcs… well, during this encounter one of the other PCs (can’t remember which class or type) who was taller than me (I play a dwarf paladin) with a lower Strength than me and I had a higher AC than them… Anyway, she wanted to use my character as a weapon and launch me at the horde of Gobbies… initially she didn’t pass my AC, BUT, the DM worked some things around where she was able to use a spell or something to boost her modifier to be able to pick me up and launch me at the horde and did 22 or 24 damage to me, “by accident” she claims lol. So I had 12 Max HP and (because 1st level) and I was out cold…. My body did manage to kill 3 gobbies however.

Thanks in advance!

Well I think its funny...

So it's well known that a lot of players like to make edge lord, quiet, lone wolf, bruding characters. My new CoS campaign is no different. It started off with us all going to this tavern on the first session one by one.

The DM said to each of the 6 players one by one, "you arrive at the tavern, what do you do?". The first player said "I find a dark corner to sit in and keep an eye out". Fair enough, i thought. Then the second player also wanted to sit in a corner alone. This happened 4 times. So all the corners were taken in a square room, right?

So then the DM says it to the 5th player (I was last) and he also said he wants to sit in a corner alone! The DM was like, "there are no more corners!" Then he just looked at me and put his face in his hands hahaha.

It's actualy a really fun campaign now though, was just a slow starter.

So I recently became interested in listening to DnD podcast. I was wondering if anyone had any recommendations of DnD podcast that are funny/entertaining?

So I am part of this group of three people, including me, and we had a campaign last night. We had miraculously found the Deck Of Many Things and my BF's first thought was to draw a card. The first few cards he drew throughout the campaign were good... Like really good but then we to the funny part. He drew the Gain an Enemy card 3 times in a row before finally drawing The Void card... For everyone that doesn't know what that card does it rips your soul from your body and throws it into the void which is basically a death but you can still be rescued... The thing is... The whole group is level 3 so there is no way to save him. I guess that is a way to teach people not to gamble, huh?