An Irish dad calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing.”

“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.”

The son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced!”she shouts, “I’ll take care of this!”

She calls Ireland immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Sorted! They’re coming for Christmas – and they’re paying their own way"

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👤︎ u/YZXFILE
📅︎ Nov 22 2021
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My wife and I are staying at a hotel. The street in front of the main entrance is called Griffin Drive. I told my wife that I was going to call the main entrance the "Harry Potter Entrance." She asked me why and I said...

Because it's the Griffin Door.

She didn't get it. And didn't think it was funny when I explained it. I thought it might be better received here.

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📅︎ Aug 11 2021
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