Funny Coyote Puns

How did this take me this embarrassingly long to realize this?

...but not about Murcel.

https://twitter.com/SouthlakeDPS/status/1247926762568404992

Really? I can't believe they fucking did it. JR, Hull, and Coach Gretzky are our featured former players... The only way this would have been better is if we went full retard and put Pronger, Datsyuk, and Bettman on the "current" side.

754 unique characters in FEH. That’s more characters than all the playable casts of the mainline FE franchise combined. It’s also not taking into account the max barracks size of 1100 clones, so the literal number of heroes per barracks is likely more than seven hundred and fifty four.

Now imagine the sound of up to 1100 souls crying out in pain, in fear – sheer terror, as they are completely aware that these moments will be the last they ever experience before the gates of hell open for them. Then, a great white flash… a sickening, brutal crunching noise as all seven hundred and fifty four to 1100 lives scuffed out and shredded like a guidance counselor’s rugged, oppressive boot against an Edelgard fan’s face, forever… the cries of the innocent echoing within the shrieking, ominous hall as their life energy is snuffed out by enormous white … followed by complete silence. Desolation.

A shattered land, once known as Askr, hollow and empty. The vibrant life that once was dominant, sucked away by the most malevolent force ever known to man. No more Alfonse. No more Sharena. No more FEH pass. No more new Book VI goat waifu, her life cut short so quickly after her introduction…

…followed by an “Om nom nom! Thish candy ish deelishush!”

Now imagine this happening not just to one, but COUNTLESS parallel versions of Askr all over the globe. Who knows how many casualties there will be.

I’ve tried to speak up in the past but NOBODY listened to me, and this recent announcement is the last straw. I cannot just stand by and watch while IS fucks us all over just like Eirika fucked over her brother and leaves an entire franchise worth of characters to the whims of the most awful despicable character in the history of dragonkind.

“but bootyroopysoupy, what in u/ccovelocity2’s holy name are you talking about?” you ask. well, if you haven’t figured it out yet, the answer lies in Halloween Myrhr’s Inherit Skill quote. If you’re not familiar with it – after you inherit a skill to Halloween Myyrh, she says the following line and the Hero you used as fodder disappears.

> “Om nom nom! Thish candy ish deelishush!”

yes it was literally just up there

The implication here is obvious. With H!Myhrh – and ONLY H!Myrhh since no one else talks about literally eating people – if you inherit a skill to her, you’re FEEDING the hero to her. And what does that mean?

#halloween myrr

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

The doctor says it terminal.

MCC All Stars was an event that was pretty split among the MCC audience. Some had hatred for the teams, and some didn't really care at all. For these teams, I tried to make an event similar to MCC All stars, but I tried making it so most teams have a fair shot at making the finals! I also used players who might not play in the event anymore, just because this whole idea is unrealistic anyways and I wanted to bring back a certain fan favorite team. The stats used are from theultrasheeplord's spreadsheet. (Note: For these teams I'm using overall stats and not S2 stats like my previous posts)

https://preview.redd.it/rgokf0vcwwc81.png?width=1086&format=png&auto=webp&s=50ddbd9c1bd8b9019a8da05088b083cadf430121

Red Rabbits - Average: 9,190

This team is very comparable to other similar teams in the past! MCC 1 Purple and MCC 10 Yellow are the ones that come to my mind immediately. TapL and Krtzyy was a really great duo in MCC 18, and I think with Michael and Burren they have the chemistry for sure! Although some people might overlook this team, I think at max potential they have a good shot at dodgebolt! (Also this is just a very fun(ny) team)

https://preview.redd.it/ptsboc7cxwc81.png?width=1088&format=png&auto=webp&s=be66f6f99f5508a70ff1d1c9aeaa4374f6b1cce2

Orange Ocelots - Average: 9,399

The first team here who is a full returning team from the past, MCC 17 Orange! This team is still as cracked as ever! I feel like not returning a fan favorite like this would be a crime. This team will basically destroy every team game (not grid runners though). If this team pops off again, I wouldn't be surprised if we see a point record performance.

https://preview.redd.it/8dd3fcdyxwc81.png?width=1093&format=png&auto=webp&s=fd84c24dbfde027a12fd5e0cfaea46f0c052f5fd

Yellow Yaks - 9,267

MCC 18 Mustard returns! The team that made Sapnap love build mart is back, and they're definitely one of the strongest in Season 2. I believe they would still do very well in team games, and dominate in Battle Box. There really isn't much to say here, just a very scary team in general.

https://preview.redd.it/sh7wf1xgywc81.png?width=1084&format=png&auto=webp&s=436dc78c25f3699db44b2dbb4d89b0702fb4be58

Lime Llamas - 8,538

A mix of MCC 10 Orange and MCC 3 Orange! Vikkstar returns with fellow winner Shubble and MCC Pride teammate Joel. Cub is on this team for great chemistry and fantastic team game help. Overall, I

So with one professional round under my belt and with my overall score putting me at the bottom of the leaderboard, I arrive at the Nicklaus course of PGA West with high hopes...I'm paired with Rickie Fowler & in the same group with Phil Mickelson, multi-major winner and the basically this Tournament's ambassador & week long emcee...

Now I'm not gonna lie - despite the beer buzz after eating dinner at the hotel and the physical/emotional exhaustion of Thurday's round - I don't sleep well - I'm anxious and after a rough night of tossing and turning I resolve to get out of bed at 4:30am and start trying to summon my body into some state of being able to make a full golf swing (and the market at the hotel where i get my coffee doesn't open until 6am)...I resolve to go contrarian and start my day with a hot bath (elated that my Craig Stadler-esque frame fits in the tub and doesn't cause a tsunami of water when I ease in) & listen to the Calm app on my iphone and take in 10 minutes of zen meditation...

...when I snap out of the soothing sounds of Tamara I feel a little prunish but notice my lower back is starting to show signs of life...we next jump to the stim pads and plow through 30 minutes of work email while getting jolted...then stretching and body weight exercises..and suddenly it's time to make the cold walk to get coffee...not long after that we gotta be dressed and ready for go time as our tee time is 8:50am off the back tees at Nicklaus...

...on the range I feel incredible...I'm ready for this...or so I thought...we decide to truncate the session and save the swings so we spend more time working on short game & putting...on the putting green I see two familiar faces from my pod: Will & Harold...

Will is engaged in a serious putting drill while Harold is holding court with Phil & Jason Dufner...but upon seeing me comes bounding over with a big smile on his face and offers a warm greeting and well wishes for the day (so right, an established Tour Pro who's made more than $8m professionally just came over to say hello to me...these guys are just such solid genuinely nice human beings ...I promise him I won't leave any putts short today and he reminds me that we're playing right behind him and he'd be watching us from the tee boxes and I nod and smile (and then gulp when he turns and walks away)...by this time Will has freed up and we exchange hellos and a handshake and I tell him that he's going really low today (save that t

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

long time coming. the holidays are murder and life is a thing. But enough about me let's talk about people with real problems.

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7 Days after hero summoning
Fields in Village of Aperta
Felix Festinare (son of Procul “scout”)

The fields grew tall after a good rain season, and this year it had all but drowned the thick stalks of Aperta wheat. This meant better harvest for the village of course, and the cattle would grow fat on the grain that was harvested. But it also attracted more, dangerous lizards from the plains and even goblins from the distant mountain. That meant that jobs like hunters, trappers, and offshoots of those would have their work cut out for them.

Out of all of them, Felix was the best. Like his father before him, he could see the traces of beasts and men alike and follow them to their source. He could pick out when and where someone had been, but uniquely he could also pick out what they had been doing in great detail even surface thoughts of the past if they were fresh. This made him peerless in crafting traps for beasts and men alike.

But his father showing up after all these years and making nice with mom? Not going to fly. If he had shown just a little more foresight he could have avoided the whole wurm incident, or at least got away unmarked. Felix would show him how a true stalker should act.

Using his movement buff he hardly touched the ground as he made headway down the side paths of his home village. The town itself was small but the intricate fields and pastures made for a surprising maze that changed each season. No way anyone but a local would know their way here.

The thick stalks of grain and fence posts passed by quickly as Felix dodged past another cart almost frozen in time. The driver was not even aware of his presence he was moving so fast. A hunter might notice him if he was the same level. But not even the best hunter in town could beat Felix’s dex score. A recent level up to level 8 had made sure of that.

Looking back however, he was not surprised to see his old man rounding the last bend in the road and putting on more speed. A stupid smile on his face, Felix made what he felt like was a sneer to answer. But it came out a half-smile, this was kinda fun if he was honest. But now came the part where he lost him.

Ducking into t

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

Do your worst!