I went in yesterday for a colonoscopy. After I got all set up and the anesthesiologist gave me the anesthesia to put me under, apparently I asked him before I was asleep "Why did the chicken cross the road?". I straight up don't remember asking him this, but I will admit I've always kinda wanted to do something funny right before I pass out from the anesthesia. This is probably one of my proudest moments in my life now hahaha.
Have any of you ever done something similar? We're in a unique position where colonoscopies are so routine that we can have some fun with it haha.
Hi all, I'm a 33yo female and I've had bowel problems for 2.5 years (mostly just frequent diarrhea) my docs never really took it seriously. Recently, things got a lot worse: pain, mucus, blood, urges to go but nothing but mucus coming out, the whole nine yards. My physicians suddenly were very concerned and they agreed that it was likely inflammatory bowel disease (bowel cancer being a very remote possibility) and immediately referred me for a bunch of tests including a colonoscopy.
Now I'm not nervous about the test itself or the results as I've come to terms with the idea that I may have Crohn 's disease or ulcerative colitis; I'm just happy to be closer to a diagnosis, prognosis, and a treatment plan. I am, however, not looking forward to the poopocalypse that awaits me tomorrow.
My fiance went through this and he's given me the lowdown on the 4L jug of colyte I have to chug tomorrow. I heard mixing in crystal lite or Gatorade can help make it more palatable (my gastroenterologist said that was ok), but I hear it's mostly the salt and texture that make it so aweful. I have tooth sensitivity so I can't drink really cold drinks. I'm a bit worried about cramping or pain because I had that a long time ago with a laxative.
So to all of you IBD sufferers out there, what are your tips and tricks? I'm thinking chugging through a straw and adding crystal lite? Any suggestions. Bonus points for hillarious colonoscopy/prep stories for me to read while I'm attached to the toilet tomorrow :D Thanks everyone!
She won't talk to me, what should I do?
well, actually story kinda starts beforehand.
Non funny bit (unless youre my mate then its hilarious apparently): ok a few years ago when I was 26 I needed to get a colonoscopy done as I was bleeding rear end due to complications of giving birth to my son.
I'm pretty friendly, especially when I'm feeling nervous, so I was talking and laughing with the nurses during the 3 hour wait for the operation to go ahead. Now I knew I was only bleeding due to baby-making-related-issues, but there was a 15 min period where I was left alone where I started going down the whole "what if its ass cancer...' line of thought.
One of the staff walks in and I was really cold and non-engaging with him because the thought that inhabited my mind during our interactions was my little son at my funeral after butt cancer. He went away and I got a hold of my thoughts and started to talk and chat to the staff again.
At some point I realized the guy I had been cold to was the only dark skin member of staff. Weirdly, I became worried that he would see me interacting friendly with the other staff and think I might be racist, so I decided to make a point to say something nice to him or ask him something about himself next time he came by.
But they wheeled me into the operation room before I saw him again.
So I come out of it, high off my ladyballs, and continue to chat to staff, except this time I'm really making them laugh and I have no idea what I'm saying. Enter in Dark-skin staff guy who I've got into my head that I MUST BE NICE TO OR I'M A HORRIBLE RACIST.
So my muddle-balls-high mind came up with all these things to say and the moment they left my mouth I had completely forgotten what I had said to him or if I had fixed the problem or if he was even really real at all, but I was pretty sure I had said something nice none the less.
Later on when my partner was with me and I'm still high as a nut, the dark-skinned staff member walked by and I told my partner "Oh no, I think I told that guy he was pretty because I didn't say hello before.'
My partner, whose been soothing high little me and all my weird fears for a while at this point, told me not to worry.
The dark-skin staff came up to us and said some things (like that I can't drive home and such) and I blurted out "Did I tell you before that you are pretty?'
'Aha no you didn;t.' he responded
'What did I say to you when I was putting on my shoes?'
'You said you liked my shoes.'
'Oh good good. I must of just thought y
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I made a post a while back about wanting the writers to leave Harry alone and now seeing they focused on the colonoscopy this episode, Charlotte making the appointment, cancelling it, saying her dinner party was more important, I’m hoping it was a one episode thing but given how it happened after the episode of him having a really long stream, I’m slightly worried.
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
The whole colonoscopy story seems planted as hell. Not sure why anyone gives a shit that joe is out for a couple hours (i assume they drug him and put him to sleep all the time) and it really seems like they’re testing the waters of the public’s reaction to kamala taking over for an incapacitated joe. Is he close to death maybe? Are they getting ready to shoot his ass?
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
They’re on standbi
**UPDATE 01/15/2022: Updates will be routinely added in the comments section and pinned, so feel free to add your feedback, advice, experiences, or lurk like I did and if it can be of some comfort or potential help to you, that would make me really happy :-).
FINALLY, PLEASE SEE A DOCTOR FOR MEDICAL ADVICE, what is provided in this thread is simply my experience and may or may not be useful in helping you in your own, unique situation, SEE A DOCTOR FOR MEDICAL ADVICE!
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
STORY BEGINS HERE:
Hello all, as the title says, I have been lurking theses forums over the past year or so, but have never had an account, so I decided to make one just to post my progress in quitting alcohol with some test results, my experience, and how I am doing overall as I continue to track and fight this off.
When I Started Drinking: other than a few small glasses of wine like 5 times in my whole life and a few low proof wine coolers/flavored beer, I never drink anything really before August of 2019, which is the start of my story below.
About me: recently turned 26, but was 23, almost 24 when I started drinking, with a mother who drinks excessively for decades, a grandma who also did, and a grandpa who drink 12 to 24 pack daily for several decades. I am a double major graduate from college with honors, and successfully completed these degrees before and while drinking excessively, I also had terrible anxiety and depression on and off, excessive worry and now I have terrible panic, worry, OCD, and health anxiety. See the end for more information about this.
August of 2019, I had never had a drink of anything that made me even a little intoxicated. The 1st drink I had was a margarita mixed with tequila (40% around 1.5oz mixed with ice - so a normal, standard drink), I did this maybe once every 2 to 3 weeks or so thereafter. I remember the 1st time a got a little buzz and I was superrrrrr happy and calm. After this occurred, I started drinking more margaritas more frequently, around October I was up to about 1-2 standard drinks a week, never more. At this point, this is obviously safe and extremely easy to moderate. Fast forward to near the end of November and I started experimenting with other alcohol such as Rum - this would turn out t
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Pilot on me!!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
You take away their little brooms
