I get a big injury every winter, yes
I miss my family, Merry Christmas
I come every day
I’m a coward, I’m exploding
Effective seasonal disease
Everything can be stopped in fifteen minutes.
no expectations
The sin of snow
(Cold and boring: more kisses)
without a lover
Sprinkle salt on the snow
We have something to say in my hometown
"When you're sad, sunlight dissolves everything."
But this is winter
Everything is still frozen
Good things don’t give me the creeps anymore
Effective seasonal disease
Maybe I should move to Florida
I am not an elf
There is no nickname
(Cold plus sadness: Coma)
Introvert
I am a sick person
Effective seasonal disease
Effective seasonal disease
Effective seasonal disease
Effective seasonal disease
To: Tidy Cat
From: Chesterfield P. Lastname and Hollyfield Lavender Lastname
Re: new Breeze "game changer" litter box system.
To Whom it May Concern:
Our humans recently upgraded to the Breeze litter system, with the plastic pellets and urine pad. They read that there might be an adjustment period and dutifully suffered in the belief it was temporary.
Because we don't speak human, we were unable to direct our humans to information that the plastic pellets can hurt our little paws, nor tell them ourselves.
And, as we are not assholes, we did NOT use the living room rug as an alternative - we located an out of the way place to use discreetly where one of our humans keeps lots and lots of soft cotton cloth.
We also feel we must inform you that the pee pad failed to live up to its promise, and we fear our humans will never be the same again after the "bucket o'pee".
Our humans have purchased a new, more practical, system and given us back our lovely, lavender scented, litter. We are writing to request reimbursement for a large box of baking soda detergent, three gallons of white vinegar, a tub of Oxyclean, 2 bottles of orange oil, 5 bottles of hydrogen peroxide, 2 economy sized bottles of bleach and special order, professional strength enzymes, as well 96 hours of labor incurred by 3 humans over 4 days, and damages for emotional distress. (The emotional distress should be evident with the degree of overkill on display, here.)
We have determined that our humans probably bear some responsibility for the mustard gas, and will drop any related claims.
Unfortunately, we cannot return the Breeze system to you as once all the screaming and crying subsided a bit, our humans carried it out (to be destroyed by fire, we assume.)
We look forward to hearing from you,
- Chester and Holly
Disclaimer: the Breeze system probably works just fine for other cats and different situations. Please don't hit me with troubleshooting or hate - the cats are very happy with the new one and so far, so are we.
I work in a very large automobile manufacturing plant, and for the last year they've been remodeling the main entrance. I noticed last night that they've brought in a glass trophy case, which as yet is empty and unlocked. My first thought upon seeing it was, "I HAVE to 3d print something funny to put in there," but my mind is reeling and I don't know what to print. Any suggestions?
My husband thinks he is so slick. But it works every fucking time. 8:15 every Saturday. But on Sunday, his day to sleep in, he meanders down at 9:30 to a full and happy toddler.
