Boss texts me: “That’s hilarious, send me another one!”
The CIEIO
"You should just take an Uber to the airport from your meeting."
"Is it really close?"
"Yea, it's UBER close..."
[she just kind of stared at me for a second while I chuckled to myself, and then walked away.]
A little too proud of this one...
So I’m on my usual Tuesday morning conference call with a bunch of vendors, coworkers, bosses, etc...
With his dog barking in the background one of my bosses chimes in and says “Just so you all know, I’m on the call but I’m outside right now having my roof looked at so I might be a little distracted”.
I couldn’t resist... With the instincts of a wild puma plotting against it’s poor defenseless prey, I pounce...
“Is your dog lookin at it?
Cuz he keeps saying ROOF!!! ROOF ROOF!!!”
I was immediately rewarded with a spectacular cacophony of groans and “that was awful”’s... It was glorious. I’m pretty sure I’ll get another promotion for it.
EDIT: So... no promotion... but in a pure, hilarious coincidence, I actually DID just get the news that I'm finally getting that raise they promised me at my last review. Too fuckin funny.
So a buddy of mine works in a shop and the manager is kinda weird. One day my friend is faking sick to go home early and says to his boss, "I was eating downstairs but I couldn't cause my head feels funny." To which his boss responded with a straight face, "Well did you try eating upstairs?"
My friend lost it.
SO i work in a store and basically:
A new girl had started and was scanning through this couples items. Last on the list was a £5 jar of Nescafe Gold. As she scanned it through the man went to grab it and it fell and broke. I instantly turned round to her, looked her dead in the eye and said "Now thats what I call... Ground Coffee"
My boss started laughing as did everyone at my Till and she was laughing shouting "Its not funny".
I do this every time she drops a jar of coffee.
So today at work, my boss asked us to skim through a document regarding a new/old procedure. When she finished I ask if I could almond milk it since I don't drink dairy.
They actually laughed.
I don't know if I should feel proud or embarrassed for them that they thought it was actually funny.
Maybe a bit of a and b.
Boss said he wanted to start branching out into venture capitalism. He asked if I've ever watched Shark Tank and said that we'd be like that, only smaller.
"So, basically, a fish tank."
Thank goodness he found it funny.
My boss just texted me: “Send me one of your funny jokes!” I texted him back: “I’m busy working. I’ll send one later.” “That’s hilarious,” he said. “Send another one!”
