Funny Arsenal Puns

If someone asks him if he is alright:

"No, I'm half left too!"

At a restaurant:

Server: "Hi, My name is Julie, I'll be taking care of you today"

Dad: "Hi, My name is Cane-Dewey's Dad, I'll be sitting here today"

Someone asks him: "How are you?"

Dad: "If I was any better, I'd be twins!"

And that's about it. That's his arsenal. I've heard these a million times at this point, and they are just now starting to get funny.