The United States of Swag and the Soviet UWUnion are discussing what to do with alien break dancer army. Suddenly they are attacked by an army of Spongebob clones. Vice President Shrek sounds the alarm, suddenly Ash Ketchum, who is still 10 somehow, teleports in the Swag Layer ™️ and sends out Mewseven. But Mewseven can only take out 8 out of 15 Spongetrons before Mewseven’s left side explodes.
tl;dr I'm pretty sure this was written as a joke by a missionary in my mission (20+ years ago). His full letter ended up in a binder with all the letters I wrote to my mission president presented to me when I went home....
I was cleaning out a closet and found a box of my old mission items. At the end of my mission I was given a binder with all the weekly progress reports I turned in. Part of that weekly progress report was a letter to the mission president. The missionary that wrote this letter has a similar last name as mine, and even though the letter was dated a year prior to me entering the mission field, it somehow ended up in my folder. I'd never seen it before today. There was always some talk by missionaries that there was no way the mission president was reading all of our letters each week (there were between 150-200 of us), So I'm fairly certain this was a test of that hypothesis and was written as a joke. The letter starts "Pres, Hey dude whas sup wid chew my man?" Another gem: "Oh man our scorpion fell off our car. We found him and now we losted him oh well." This is right before he launches into his crazy plan to find converts. I'm sure he was trolling the mission president. I don't know this missionary, so not sure if he served his full two years or not. I actually enjoyed my mission, but looking through some of the items I found today (progress reports, "sales" tactics, competitive positioning) i can't help but feel like i was an unpaid salesman. In my mind I was saving souls, but it really is a business when you look past the fluffy religious veneer.
