When God was integrating Planet Earth, he suddenly recalled his Calculus lesson.

He remembered to add the sea.

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📅︎ Dec 12 2017
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I made a service clerk walk away.

There is a CVS about a 5 minute walk from my house that I like to get my convenience shopping done at with these auto-checkout kiosks that always lock up. I scanned my drinks and like clockwork the machine started beeping that somebody would be available to assist me shortly; the machine had locked up. A young girl scans her ID to bring it back to functionality and asks if I needed any further assistance.

I pointed to my reflection in the window and said "No thanks, I'm going to finish checking myself out and be on my way" and flexed a bit

It took her a second, but once the guy in the photo department started cracking up she got it. I laughed all the way home.

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📅︎ Dec 12 2014
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