Full Disclosure Puns

they were meander-thals. came up with it at work today. full disclosure: not a dad, but i'll be an uncle soon.

My Hero Macadamia (Nut) [Full disclosure that's my son's joke]

Amburgers & Wootbeer.

Full disclosure I hear this joke on "Stop Podcasting Yourself" all the time and it makes me laugh everytime.

Bison!

Full disclosure: I'm not a dad, but my dad told me this joke and I think it will be appreciated here.

Full disclosure: it's the wurst.

I was getting my card ready to swipe, and the cashier said "strip facing me" and I said "you want me to do WHAT?" He nervously laughed and my wife was very disappointed in me.

Full disclosure: I am a dad

Full disclosure, I'm just a guy in his mid-20s - not a dad, though with my cheesy sense of humor I may as well be. Wanted to share one of my prouder examples of that today.

Anyways, a couple friends and I were visiting another friend out of town, and we'd been eating quite a bit on our trip (and not the healthiest stuff either). I randomly decided to weigh myself and found that I was 158 lbs, which was a bit alarming because I had just been around 150 a week or two prior.

Came downstairs and the topic of how much we'd been eating came up. I mentioned my weight of 158, and one of my friends went "Damn, how did that happen?" And I swear to god, without even thinking, this just came out:

"Well I was 150... and then I eight."

So I told her it was Greek for forever young. Constant teen. Full disclosure, I am a dad.

They're Catholic, you see.

(Full disclosure: I didn't come up with this one myself. I'm not dadly enough for that.)