22 Hilarious Friends Don't Puns

How do you make sure your friends don't recognize you?

Like dis, guys!

👍︎ 5

💬︎

📅︎ Jan 12 2023

I don't know why my Austrian, German, Luxembourgish and Swiss friends said "Bitte schön!" and "You're so nice!" to me...

I just told them that the room they hosted the party and dance music in was Feeling Dank and we should have picked someplace else.

24M international student, still trying to get up on his feet, has a long way to go before becoming a Dad. Thank you r/dadjokes for all the laughs! 🤣

>!Vielen Dank in German is pronounced similar to Feeling Dank (the V has an "F" sound), and it literally means "many thanks".!<

👍︎ 2

💬︎

👤︎ u/InformalBoi

📅︎ Jul 16 2022

🚨︎ report

Some of my friends don't like my beard, and I wasn't so sure myself.

But it's starting to grow on me.

👍︎ 8

💬︎

👤︎ u/DatRawDough

📅︎ Jan 15 2022

🚨︎ report

Don't be friends with people that insult the end of pencils.

They tend to disappoint.

👍︎ 25

💬︎

👤︎ u/incredibleinkpen

📅︎ Dec 04 2021

🚨︎ report

My friends often don't get my dad jokes so I have to spell them out.

"t-h-e-m o-u-t"

👍︎ 33

💬︎

👤︎ u/billbixbyakahulk

📅︎ Jun 20 2021

🚨︎ report

I don't like my friends either.

👍︎ 75

💬︎

👤︎ u/whiskey_risky

📅︎ Feb 26 2021

🚨︎ report

I got a girlfriend by pretending that I play football. My friends don't think it's going to last but I don't worry.

She thinks that I'm a keeper.

👍︎ 106

💬︎

👤︎ u/elasmotheriums

📅︎ Mar 27 2021

🚨︎ report

Why don't books have very many friends?

They mostly keep to themshelves!

👍︎ 94

💬︎

👤︎ u/clark_creationz

📅︎ Oct 01 2020

🚨︎ report

I don't understand why my friends hate my lava lamp collection...

I think it's pretty hot.

👍︎ 5

💬︎

👤︎ u/Personified_Anxiety

📅︎ Mar 31 2021

🚨︎ report

Wanting to impress my son at the zoo today, I revealed to him, "Used to be best friends with a giraffe, but we had a falling out." Puzzled, he asked, "What happened?" I shook my head, "I don't know really, but I felt..."

"He was always looking down on me!"

👍︎ 6

💬︎

👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod

📅︎ Jan 11 2021

🚨︎ report

Most of my friends don't know that I'm actually a shape-shifting Norse god of mayhem and mischief.

I keep it Loki.

👍︎ 12

💬︎

👤︎ u/jfshay

📅︎ Oct 08 2020

🚨︎ report

All my Canadian friends don't think they can count on me...

but I know Yukon count on me because I'm having Nunavut.

👍︎ 6

💬︎

👤︎ u/lavande21

📅︎ May 11 2020

🚨︎ report

That time I beat my dad at his own game. In the middle of a heated lecture about not joining my friends' shenanigans, dad said, "Two wrongs don't make a right."

"Two Wrights do make an airplane."

"I'm proud of you. You're still grounded though."

👍︎ 97

💬︎

👤︎ u/JustJosh724

📅︎ Feb 02 2018

🚨︎ report

Why don't black holes have friends?

Because they a void everyone

👍︎ 11

💬︎

👤︎ u/Hi_im_Nadeem

📅︎ Apr 15 2019

🚨︎ report

Don't steal from your friends to buy drugs. That's addict move.

👍︎ 108

💬︎

👤︎ u/RealZodiacKiller

📅︎ Sep 17 2017

🚨︎ report

I'm close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y

👍︎ 12

💬︎

👤︎ u/moses10960

📅︎ Aug 21 2017

🚨︎ report

My wife's friends are coming over, so she's said, "Don't walk around the house in your underwear."

I guess that gives me an excuse to be naked then.

👍︎ 15

💬︎

👤︎ u/TommehBoi

📅︎ Aug 24 2018

🚨︎ report

A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender squints at hi

👍︎ 2

💬︎

👤︎ u/ruchi565

📅︎ Oct 23 2019

🚨︎ report

If you don't have any friends......

you might be a no-buddy

👍︎ 10

💬︎

👤︎ u/johnwaynedahmer

📅︎ May 31 2019

🚨︎ report

Me: and this is my house My friends: what's upstairs?? Me: stairs don't talk....

👍︎ 9

💬︎

👤︎ u/justme24601

📅︎ Jun 15 2019

🚨︎ report

My friends don't like it when I play Mario Kart with them. I tend to drive them crazy.

👍︎ 7

💬︎

👤︎ u/Schezoroark

📅︎ Aug 19 2016

🚨︎ report

Why dont imperials (skyrim) have many friends?

Because they live in solitude

👍︎ 6

💬︎

👤︎ u/ZvKGaming45

📅︎ Jun 27 2018

🚨︎ report