Fred Haney Puns

1. He’s an experienced manager, having nine seasons of experience leading a big-league team (2004-2011 White Sox; 2012 Marlins).

2. He managed a world-championship team (the 2005 White Sox).

3. The team he managed to a world championship ended a very long championship drought (88 years, making the Mets’ current 36-year drought a piece of cake in comparison).

4. He has recent managing experience as well, having managed a winter-league team in Venezuela.

5. He’s not employed as a manager by any major-league team right now.

6. He clearly has interest in managing again (he interviewed for the Padres’ managerial job before they hired Bob Melvin).

7. He’d surely be more interested in managing the Mets, who are trying to win now, than the rebuilding A’s (the only other team without a manager right now).

8. He wouldn’t command as heavy of a contract as Buck Showalter would, which is important now that Steve Cohen has spent his entire net worth on player contracts.

9. He has a very baseball-savvy mind (I once watched a game when he was with the Braves, and a player lined a ball off the front of the mound and was rolling between third and home, and he came in from shortstop and told his much younger teammates converging to pick it up, to not touch the ball because it was going to roll foul. Indeed it did, it was ruled a foul ball, and the batter was subsequently retired later in that plate appearance. It makes complete sense in hindsight, but in watching it, it didn’t seem as obvious at the moment because it literally started as a liner up the middle. If any player were to pick it up, it’d been considered a base hit, but Ozzie came in, used his smarts, and made sure that the right thing happened).

10. He’s bilingual, so he’s able to effectively communicate with teammates who speak English and Spanish.

11. Having managed in Chicago, he already knows how to handle a large media market.

12. Having managed the White Sox, he also knows how to gain attention toward his team despite being viewed as the “second team” in the market.

13. I got his autograph once (it was in KC in 2000 and he was with the then-Devil Rays. I saw Jose Canseco was signing, so I went down to see if he’d sign my program. He walked away before he got to me, but then I saw Ozzie and asked for his autograph, and he signed, unlike that steroid-addled self-centered affront to humanity Canseco).

14. In addition to the world-championship team he managed, he also coached for another

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

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Please find the list below

6989. An Introduction to Project Management, Fifth Edition: Kathy Schwalbe

6990. Decision by Objectives, 1st Edition: Ernest Forman & Mary Ann Selly

6991. Aeschylus II: The Oresteia, 3rd Edition: Aeschylus & David Grene & Richmond Lattimore & Mark Griffith & Glenn W. Most

6992. Community Health Nursing: Caring for the Public's Health, 3rd Edition: Karen Saucier Lundy & Sharyn Janes

6993. Discipline Without Stress Punishments or Rewards : How Teachers and Parents Promote Responsibility & Learning, 2nd Edition Revised: Marvin Marshall

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6997. Cracking the AP Calculus AB Exam 2020, Premium Edition: The Princeton Review

6998. Principles of Human Physiology, 6th Edition: Cindy L. Stanfield

6999. Writing Research Papers: A Complete Guide, 16th Edition: James D. Lester

7000. Semiconductor Device Fundamentals, 2nd Edition: Robert F. Pierret

7001. Microelectronic Circuits, 6th Edition: Adel S. Sedra & Kenneth C. Smith

7002. Electromagnetics, 1st Edition: Branislav M. Notaros

7003. Public Finance, 10th Edition: Harvey S Rosen & Ted Gayer

7004. Public Finance, Global Edition, 10th Edition: Ted Gayer & Harvey Rosen

7005. Introduction to Global Business: Understanding the International Environment & Global Business Functions, 2nd Edition: Julian Gaspar & James Kolari & Richard Hise & Leonard Bierman & L. Murphy Smith

7006. Health & Wellness, 13th Edition: Gordon Edlin & Eric Golanty

7007. Politics in America: 2018 Elections and Updates Edition, 11th Edition: Thomas R. Dye & Ronald K. Gaddie

7008. Graphic Design History, 2nd Edition: Johanna Drucker & Emily McVarish

7009. International Marketi

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

[Removed]

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved