O happier half of days decreed to me,
My early years, so soon you passed away:
Few were the flowers that blossomed on that tree,
And they, scarce budded, fell into decay.
Few were the rays of hope that I could see,
And storms would often rage in wild array;
Still, for my youth, dark though thy dawn may be,
My heart will ever cry, God be with thee!
Too soon the fruits of knowledge did I eat!
Where dripped their poison, faded all delight:
I saw how honesty and truth could meet
Among the human kind with scorn and spite.
I sought true love - an empty dream and fleet,
Which disappeared as dawn broke into light!
And wisdom, justice and the learned mind
Were dowerless maids - no suitors could they find.
I saw how those who are not loved by fate
Their ship in vain against the wind may steer;
The one who is not born to high estate
Shall see no Fortune at his cradle appear;
I saw how fame is purchased at the rate
Of current cash - no price too high, too dear;
I saw in glory's and in honour's seat
All that beguiles men's minds with lies, deceit.
These sights and others uglier by far
Burned in my heart till cruelly it bled;
Yet thoughts like these the joys of youth will bar
And quickly drive them out of heart and head;
Fair cloud-born castles glimmer from afar,
Green lawns arise where desert places spread,
Hope kindles many a wanton, beckoning light,
To lure the young and tempt them in the night.
They know not of the sudden storm that blows,
Dispelling phantom shapes that cannot last,
And all too soon forget misfortune's woes,
Forget the wounds once they are healed and past -
Until the changing years show how life flows
Into a vessel that is leaking fast.
Still, O my youth, dark though thy dawn may be,
My heart will ever cry, God be with thee!
Translated by: Griša Koritnik and V. de Sola Pinto
Oče Janez ječmen seje, tam na polju pr’ Ljubljan’, mim’ se vandrovček prismeje, sam presveti Kozmijan.
Prav prijazno ga pozdravi: ”Kaj pa delaš Janez tu?!” Janez pa je slabe volje: ”Kurc te gleda!” reče mu.
”Kaj svetnika kurc bi gledal!” reče sveti Kozmijan. ”Bom naredil coprnijo, da bo svet v pokoro djan!”
Komaj misli te izreče, z njive kurci poženo. Janez brž po Katro teče: ”Katra, Katra kaj bo to?”
Katra ven iz kajže teče, vid’ na njiv’ soldate stat, od veselja si jo mane: ”Moj ga ‘ma t’ko sam za scat!”
Katra prvega natakne gori doli vzdihujoč. Niti enkrat ji ne zmakne, z njim jo drajsa celo noč.
Drugo jutro polna njiva samih strumnih je devic, vse počepa in poriva, saj na svet je dost’ prasic.
Izmed vseh ljubljanske frajle najbolj vnetih so pizda, zaslužile bi kolajne, znajo fukat kar za dva.
Sem prišle so na kurbanje, tud’ Ljubljančanke gospe, najdeb’lejši so le zanje, da se v pizdah ne zgube.
Jel’ to morje Adrijansko, ki tak strašno valovi. Ne, to pizdovje je ljubljansko, ki na kurcih se besni.
Sred največje kurbarije pride mimo coprn’ca, pa si zmisli coprnijo, da bi stvar še lažje šla.
”Stojte pizde nenasitne! Kaj nek fukate čepe? Zmatrajo se žile ritne, lepš’ porivat je leže.
Kurce ven iz zemlje spul’te in zavijte jih v papir. Z njim doma si pizde gul’te, da bo rit imela mir.
Reci:”Dominus vobiscum!” dominus ti v pizdo skoč’, pa boš imela svoj pritiskum, k’ te bo drajsal celo noč.
Kadar pride ti zastoči: ”Etkum spiritus tuo!” Dominus ti iz ritke skoči požegnavši te z vodo.
Ženske so tako storile, kurc pod pajsko pa domov, kar naprej so se gonile, furt na furt jih je bezov.
Pele dominus so rano, pele dominus zvečer. Vse po poslah je poscano, dominus je huda zver.
Tudi Katra s svojim leže in nastavi si ga v rit. Dominus ji koj postreže, tri dni se je nič ne vid.
Še četrti in še peti Katra v luštih izdrži. A deveti in deseti pizda več je ne srbi.
Že sta tedna dva minila, Katra je že čisto preč, je besede pozabila, da b’ je kurc ne fukal več.
Dominus pa kar poriva, ne minute ni pr’ mir’. Katra je napol še živa, pizda kot zmečkan krompir.
Kje si pizdica nekdanja, ki si kurce stiskala? Razcefrana kakor cunja blagor mu k’ spomin ima.
”O nesrečni fuk gol’fivi,” še enkrat spregovori. Med neštetimi porivi bogu dušo izpusti.
Dajo gor jo na te pare, ni je več ko par kosti. Dominus naprej jih tare, moč ustaviti ga ni.
Še ko trugo so zabili, spaka je po njej bezov. Kmal’ bi trugo iz rok spustili, t’ko je butal ob pokrov.
S štriki so jo p
... keep reading on reddit ➡I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
