Why is it a bad idea to iron a four leaf clover?
Because you shouldn't press your luck!
TIL: Humans are born with four kidneys
When they grow up, two of them becomes adult knees
Which rock group has four members and doesn't sing?
I said I was sad to have to go back to work on Monday after a long break. My four year old without missing a beat said...
Daddy, you're sad because it's SADurday.
I was so proud.
I saw a picture of a dog that had four prosthetic legs.
Why did the clock go back four seconds?
What do you get when you cross poison ivy and a four leaf clover?
The Texas state Aquarium taught a crow to play connect four, too bad they didn't teach it Clue...
I bet it would murder the game.
Three guys are on a boat with four cigarettes but no matches or lighter. What do they do?
They throw a cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
In Ancient Rome, there were four types of poisons. Poisons I, II, and III would kill you instantly.
Poison IV would just make you kinda itchy
"Length times width times height. Pi times r-squared times h. Four-thirds times pi times r-cubed."
This really speaks volumes.
What has four letters?
That’s all. I was just letting you know.
Every summer I get bit by one thousand and twenty four bugs.
My wife told me to get over it cause it was just one byte.
What has four eyes and a peepee?
>!Mississippi.!<
This joke doesn't work as well in writing.
What four elements are you not allowed to bring to your job?
Nitrogen, sulfur, Fluorine, and tungsten, cause they are NSFW.
What do you call four bullfighters standing in quicksand?
What do you call a fish with four eyes?
My four year old has been learning Spanish for a year, and he still can’t say ‘please’
I think that’s poor for four
The twelve days of Jokemas, day four
Want to hear a chimney joke?
I got stacks of them, first one's on the house
Authorities are searching for a four-foot tall woman who recently escaped from prison in upstate New York. She was serving a five year sentence for fraud after convincing a number of victims that she was a powerful psychic.
Now she's a small medium at large.
One bucket, two bucketth, three bucketth, four bucketth...
Sorry, it’s my bucket lisp
An man at a bar didn’t want his wife to know he was out all night. But he was so drunk he couldn’t even stand and had to crawl all the way back home on all fours.
He got home he reached up for the door knob and opened the door, crawled upstairs and into his bed with his wife. His wife in the morning said “Why were you out all night?” He said “How did you find out?”
She said “The bar called. They said you left your wheelchair again”.
My four year old son threw his ball that landed on my laptop keyboard while I was typing
And said “I guess the ball is working today!”. His first real joke. I’m so proud!
Called my local restaurant for reservation. Hey are you guys open for reservations? They replied four to nine today
Looks like they are too busy today
I saw a drunk dude riding in a boat on the chests of four women with average bust size, one of whom had a single mastectomy.
He was sailing on the seven C’s
Who was the only celebrity with four body parts in his name?
Four Seasons Total Lawn Care created some good ones after the bizarre press conference Saturday such as "Lawn and Order" and "Make America Rake Again" - I don't see them using this one on their promotional materials though:
There once was a record store. The owner was seventy-four. One day he fell ill then wrote in his will , “bury me with records galore”
It was his vinyl resting place
What did Daryl say to Greg when four regular folks descend from a UFO?
I never expected to see pair a normal beings when I started studying alien aircraft, you follow, G?
Four men waiting in the hospital
Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”
“That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”
A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”
“That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!”
A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”
“That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”
The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask.
“I work for 7 Up!”
I saw a man going up a hill with a trolley full of horseshoes, four leaf clovers and rabbit's feet...
I thought, “Well he's pushing his luck!”
My four year old: Daddy, what is Alexa scared of?
Me: She's just a robot, I don't think she ever feels fear.
My son: She's scared of getting Alexa-cuted.
How did they fund four weddings and a funeral?
I have four problems in life:
Counting, remembering and counting.
What’s big, green, fuzzy, has four legs, and will kill you if it falls on you out of a tree?
What did the two-by-four say to the cement?
"I'm board!"
The cement responded, saying "that joke leaves me mortar-fied."
Never iron your four leaf clover.
You don't want to press your luck.
What rock group has four men that don't sing?
What Rock Group has four men that don't sing?
TIL: Humans are born with four kidneys
When they grow up, two of them becomes adult knees
In ancient Rome there were four different types of poison...
Poisons I, II, and III were deadly...
Poison IV just made you itchy.
What rock group has only four members and none of them sing?
What rock group has four men that don't sing?
What rock group has four men that don't sing?
My four year old has been learning Spanish and still can’t say the word please.
Which I think is poor for four.
Today I saw a man pushing a wheelbarrow full of four leaf clovers,rabbits feet and horseshoes.
He was really pushing his luck
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
