“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them!"
I said, “When I got there, I felt.....listless.”
Great dad, undistinguished fireman.
Hamnesia
If you forget just a little bit, you have halfzheimer's.
The guy scratches his head with his gun saying, “I hate when that happens.”
There will be repercussions!
It's called bye-lingual.
It’s a naan issue.
"Issue."
"Gesundheit!"
Now that 2019 is around the corner, you can achieve ultimate dad stats by sending a message to your contacts near the end of 2018. Then, send "Why did you wait a year to respond ?".
This only works once a year so be prepared.
I stared dead at them, pointed, and said "This means War!"
Me: "Don't let them stay on for too long; the clock is ticking"
.....Oh, Ahoo!
I can never remember the second one.
Can He Logins?
The hippo campus!
What do you think I am? Irish
A friend was telling my dad about the new disaster movie Twister. >Friend: "The special effects are so amazing. They actually showed a cow flying across the screen."
>My Dad: "Oh, pasteurize (Past your eyes)?"
Long time ago, but hard to forget!
