I once littered in a forest and the only ones that saw me were a group of otters in the nearby river. I'll never forget the look they gave me as that plastic bottle left my hands.

It was a look of otter disdain.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cockneybastard
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2022
🚨︎ report
I'm planning a parody TV show of Stranger Things, but starring river-based forest creatures.

I'm calling it Otter Stuff.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/poorloko
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
150 Elephant Jokes

This is a compilation from the internet, and a few I made or heard myself. Hope you laugh!

^((Elephant Jokes were a thing from the 1960s. You can read about them on Wikipedia.))

^((Each section should be read all at once, in order. Some sections also reference previous sections. ))

Mouse

Q: Why did the elephant run from the mouse?

A: Because it had a bazooka.

Q: Why did the mouse chase the elephant?

A: To steal the bazooka.

Toenails

Q: Why did the elephant paint its toenails red?

A: So it could hide in a cherry tree.

Q: Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?

A: Works, doesn't it?

Q: How can you tell if an elephant is hiding in a cherry tree?

A: Tickle the cherries and see if they laugh.

Q: What's the loudest sound in the jungle?

A: A giraffe eating cherries.

Q: How can you tell if there have been elephants in your fridge?

A: There are footprints in the custard.

Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails yellow?

A: That's not paint, it's custard.

Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red, blue, green, orange, yellow, and brown?

A: So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.

Q: How did the mouse break his back?

A: He tried to carry a bag of M&Ms home from the store.

Oak Trees

Q: How do you get an elephant on top of an oak tree?

A: Stand him on an acorn and wait fifty years.

Q: What if you don't want to wait fifty years?

A: Parachute him from an airplane.

Q: Why isn't it safe to climb oak trees between 1 and 2 in the afternoon?

A: Because that is when the elephants practice their parachute jumping.

Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the oak tree?

A: Because it was dead.

Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the oak tree?

A: It was glued to the first one.

Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the oak tree?

A: It thought it was a game.

Q: And why did the oak tree fall down?

A: It thought it was an elephant.

Q: Why is it dangerous to walk in the forest between 3 and 4 in the afternoon?

A: That's when the elephants fall out of the oak trees.

Q: What is a furry alligator?

A: A bear that crossed the woods at 3:30 in the afternoon.

Under the Bed

Q: How can you tell if there’s an elephant under your bed?

A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.

Q: How can you tell if there's an elephant in your bed?

A: He has a big 'E' on hi

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2023
🚨︎ report
The Bacon Tree

The year is 1541 and the French have just begun colonization in North America. Young Jean-Luc is in his newly crafted home when suddenly his friend Jean-Pierre bursts through his front door. 'Jean Luc!' he exclaims. 'You weel nevar believe! I 'ave 'eard word of a bacon tree!'. Jean-Luc looks confused and scoffs 'Imposseeble! You cannot grow BaycON on a tree!'. 'Come! And I weel show you ze bacon tree!'. So Jean-Luc & Jean-Pierre set off down the river, with Jean-pierre providing direction to the enigmatic 'bacon tree'. Finally, they pulled over onto a small beach that lead to a large forest. 'Stay 'ere and watch ze canoe, and I weel bring ze bacon back from ze bacon tree!' said John-Pierre. Hours go by and John-Pierre hasn't returned. As night falls, and Jean-Luc is about to enter the forest to look for his friend, he hears a rustling in the nearby brush, to which Jean-Pierre stumbles out, bloody and with arrows through his legs and arms. 'Jean-Pierre! What 'appened!!' exclaimed Jean-luc. 'Turns out it was not a bacOn tree.....it was an 'AMBUSH!!!'

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
All my dad jokes come with TLC

Once there was this farmer and he had this dream of having a duck. Then one day he saw this duck and started to chase it. He chased it all throughout the farmland. He chased it through a forest. He chased it past a river. All his life, he spent chasing this duck but he never caught it. He died all alone, old and hungry and without the duck. See, the duck represents your dreams, and the other opportunities, they represent other opportunities. So the moral of the story? Don't go chasing water fowls.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KarlBar
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad used to tell me these so here you go
  • A plane flew over the jungle carrying 500 bricks. One of the bricks suddenly fell. How much bricks were left on the plane?
  • How do you get an elephant in the fridge in 3 steps?

You open the fridge, put the elephant inside, and close the fridge.

  • How do you get a giraffe in the fridge in 4 steps?

You open the fridge, get the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the fridge.

  • An elephant and a giraffe compete in a race. Who won?

The elephant, because the giraffe was in the fridge!

  • How many elephants can get in a green car?
  1. 2 of them sittings in the front and the other 2 are sitting behind them.
  • How do you know that there are 4 elephants in the cinema?

The green car parks outside.

  • Why can't you see the elephants hiding in the trees?

Because they are really good at it.

  • Why do elephants paint their balls red?

So they can hide in cherry trees.

  • What is the loudest noise in the forest?

Giraffes eating cherries.

  • The lion is celebrating so he invited the whole jungle to his party. Who didn't show up?

The giraffe. He is still in the fridge.

  • A squirrel was walking through the jungle when he crossed the crocodile river. Why the crocodiles didn't eat him?

Because they were in the lion's party.

  • Before the squirrle got to the other side he died. How?

He got hit by a brick!

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/0finifish
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2022
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.