A list of puns related to "Foods Co."
I told him that he would get naan.
Me: I can't believe you don't like Indian food! I love the bread it's so good!
Co-worker: I don't really like bread so...
Me: So ... I guess that means you are naan a fan
Co-worker proceeds to give me intense glare
"Hey can I borrow your date gun?"
"Why? Are you feeling lonely?"
Right after paying for our food at the cafeteria at work.
Co-worker about the woman working the cash register: "Dude, she just totally checked me out."
Me: "Yea she checked me out too. There goes $4.60."
There once was a man who had a job driving a passenger train between two large towns. It could be a very dull job to some, but as the old saying goes, one man's trash is another's gold; he wanted to be a railroad man since he was a boy.
He was a wiz behind the controls of the train, and commanded the 15 car vehicle effortlessly as if he had been born to do the job. He prided himself on the fact that he could bend the rules and speed through curves and grades that made other motormen shiver and back off.
One day however, he wasn't so lucky and came round a bend too fast and derailed his train. He backed off the throttle and braked as much as he could, managing to only have one fatality out of 500 passengers on his train.
Months later there was a trial and he was found guilty of manslaughter in the highest degree, a capital offence in that land, and sentenced to die by electric chair. Punishment came swift, unlike most places, and 3 days after sentencing the former railroader was asked for his last meal.
"I'll have a banana," "Just a single banana?" said the perplexed guard. "The warden will grant you a feast and all you want is that?"
"Just a single banana." he said.
After he downed the fruit, he was strapped into the electric chair an hour later.... The warden hit the switch, lights flickered, and the crackle of electricity could be heard for over a minute...
...but our train jockey instead rose from the chair looking more like he got a stiff massage, rather than be put to death! Well in that nation, the law of the land states that if a man somehow survives being put to death, they must be set free...
...And so it came to pass that our engineer was let go...
And for whatever reason, he got his job back!
So he was back railroading again doing the job that he loved. You'd think he'd have been more cautious with this second chance he'd been given, but you'd also be wrong. Speedy Gonzales with a train license decided to gun his locomotive to hard and send it off the tracks again!
Of course, this time he was tried for the same crime, but at a different time (his was a fair commonwealth and double indemnity was simply unheard of!) So fair was their nation, that the jury came up with the same judgement and punishment. So three days later, when asked for his last meal, the engineer simply said "I'll have 2 bananas..."
Not less than 60 minutes after consuming the last morsel was he strapped into the chair and the switch thrown... And....
NOTHING.
... keep reading on reddit β‘Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
We are both males, and we were at the register at Chipotle...
Chipotle Girl: Are you two together or separate? (referring to the food)
Co-worker: Oh no, we're just friends.
Three other people in line groaned.
Every time there is a discussion about food or diets.
Boss: I'm on a seafood diet.
Naive Co-worker: How does that work
Boss: Every time I see food, I have to eat it.
I work at a tearoom and we do some hot food, one of my coworkers cam with a simple order and I used a simple dadjoke
Co-worker: Bacon Sandwich, Well done.
Me: Thanks but I haven't even started yet.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.