Flip Jump Puns

"Well…" he said. "It could have been anyone. Right up until we landed, we hadn't decided who would be first out the door. Then, once we touched down, Neil suggested we flip for it."

"And he won?" I said.

"Well, no…" he mumbled. "The coin was still in the air when Neil jumped down the ladder, the big jerk."

My dad and I are in the car driving home from school, and we start talking about amazing talents. Suddenly my dad says Dad: "I can do a double backflip" Me: "No way Dad, this is probably some silly dad joke" Dad: "No seriously I can, I watched an 80 year old woman do it on youtube, I'll bet you on it" Me: "Alright fine, show me when we get home"

We get home. My dad goes to the grass to do his famous double backflip. He jumps in the air. Bends his back a bit. Then behind his back he flips the bird with both hands.

Dad: "I guess you owe me for the bet"

Dad: "You'll never believe what happened to me today driving home!"

Me: "What?"

Dad: "Well, I was driving down a back road home from work. It was such a beautiful day. The sun was still shining, a slight breeze was rustling the trees, and all the leaves had changed colors. Yellow, orange, red... just a gorgeous view. I was doing about 55, not a car in sight, when I come around a bend and see a cop car parked on the side of the road. I slowed down, but tried not to slow down so quickly that it would be obvious. I carefully drove up past the cop, being extra careful to stay centered within the lines and maintaining my lower speed. It looked like I was all clear, but then from out of nowhere a turkey jumped out in front of my car! I didn't even have a chance to brake!"

Me: "Jeez that's crazy!"

Dad: "I know! It hit the front of my car, rolled up over the windshield and did a somersault before landing directly onto the hood of the officer's car. He immediately turned on his lights and pulled me over and gave me a ticket."

Me: "What?? But that's not your fault! It was the turkey! What did he even give you a ticket for?"

Dad: "He gave me a ticket for flipping him the bird. Hahahaha!"

Me: -___-