I was invited to a Chinese mobile phone manufacturer's late afternoon fish meal but I already had prior arrangements that I couldn't get out of.
It was a missed OPPO tuna tea.
My wife and I were on a speedboat when I spotted a large group of fish up ahead so I yelled out to her:
“Slow down! We’re approaching a school zone!”
What is the only fish made out of 2 sodium atoms?
I found out that my fish can breakdance.
But only once, and not for long.
Out of many baby snails we put in our fish tank, only one is growing
He must be the alpha snail
What is the most boring fish out there?
What do you call a scared fish out of water?
How do you get fish out of seawater?
What type of fish only comes out at night?
So I found out today that my fish can breakdance…..
…..but only for 20 seconds at a time….and only once.
I bought a container of protein powder, but then had to spend several seconds with my fingers knuckle-deep in the powder itself, trying to fish out the little plastic scoop that’s included.
Man I’m glad that’s out of the whey.
Where can you find all the famous fish hanging out before an awards show?
My son was eating out of a bag of Swedish Fish
On Christmas my aunt gave my son a small box of Swedish fish which he immediately devoured. At the moment he threw the empty box on the coffee table I looked at it with wide eyes and said, "Oh look! Now they're Finnish!" He didn't get it.
A fish steps outside her house and get hers fins and gills blown out of order by the weather, so she goes back in for a jacket. Her husband asks, “What’s it like Outside Right Now?” She replies,
A man is out ice fishing, but not having any luck. But he sees a guy across the lake pulling out fish after fish.
So the man goes over and says “I’ve been watching you catch so many fish today, but I’m getting nothing. What’s your secret?”
The other man says “Mffffmmm mmmm mfffmmmm mmmmm”
The first man says “What?”
The other man spits something into his hand and says “I said, you gotta keep your worms warm!”
Why do you get less caviar out of a fish with nieces and nephews?
Because it's in a fish aunt.
While swimming around, a fish hits its head on a wall and then yells out...
I put out a weekly audio show about the history of fish.
While riding down the road today, a fish jumped out of a boat that was being towed, and smashed into the front of my car.
It wasn't all bad though, I love grilled fish.
The fish and chip shop: “Sorry sir we’re all out of fish.”
Me: “I knew it, there is no cod!”
I was at the beach today and there was a group of pelicans not doing anything. I concentrated hard on one pelican and suddenly if flew out to the water, snagged a fish in his bill and flew back to shore. "Wow", I thought to myself..
Pelikinesis is a real thing.
Two fish are out swimming when they swim into a wall.
The one fish turns to the other and says, "Damn."
The second fish replies, "No, I think it was a well."
If you got in a fight with a fish, how would you knock it out?
He came out as bi to his religious mother. She went to the Fish and Wildlife Service to ask for help.
She didn't know how to handle a bison
What do fish stress out about?
A pod of porpoises moved into the harbor near my town. So, me and my friends decided to go camping on the beach to check it out. We brought beer for us and some raw fish to feed the pod. Everybody had a great time. You could say it was a party
for all in tents and porpoises.
There is a mysterious body of water where every wave is the same height, only one type of fish is ever caught there, and the tides come in and out at the same time every day.
It’s called the Redundant-Sea.
I was suppose to clean out the fish tank today...
But I have no idea where they drove off to
I finally figured out the secret to painting realistic pictures of fish.
You must draw them to scale.
Fish school is weird. Turns out its not the smart fish that take debate.
A fishing boat recently capsized when the fish on one side of the net all swam down. Insurance refused to pay out.
They argued it was an act of cod.
I went fishing. I was out of worms, but was saving a can of alphabet soup for lunch, so I put some letters on the line and hoped for the best. Moments later, I caught a whopper, and boy, he started talking! The fish said:
"Hooked on phonics worked for me!"
I made a song named Fish Out of Water....
Dad just asked if I liked to fish, thens pulls a pole out from behind like couch and says he likes cat fishing
What fish is made out of two sodium atoms?
What kind of fish is made out of two sodium atoms?
What do you call a fish out of water?
What fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
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