Felipe Rose Puns

In an Iron Chef competition. They're allowed to bring two sous-chefs from their respective universes (in the case of the Indian Chief, two of the other Village People). They have to make a five-course dinner in 1 hour and are given a fully stocked kitchen with anything they need to make any food. There are five judges, all expert chefs in their home cuisine: a Klingon, a Romulan, a Grunt, an Elite, and a very flamboyant gay man.

Who provides the meal most satisfying to all of the judges?

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

America: Alfred F. Jones

America: Amelia F. Jones

Molossia: Maverick C.(Cecil) Jones

Molossia: Thomasina “Tammy” C.(Celia) Jones

Australia: Ralph Kirk

Australia: Kylie Kirk

Wy: Wendy Kirk

Wy: Wiley Kirk

Hutt River: Dwight Kirk

Hutt River: Diana Kirk

Austria: Roderich Edelstein

Austria: Sophia Edelstein

Kugelmugel: Hubert Edelstein

Kugelmugel: Hannelore Edelstein

Belarus: Natalya Arlovskaya

Belarus: Nikolai Arlovsky

Belgium: Laura Maes

Belgium: Maxime Maes

Bulgaria: Milen Hinov

Bulgaria: Milena Hinova

Burkina Faso: Darifa Ouédraogo

Burkina Faso: Shamim Ouédraogo

Cameroon: Ephraïm Njoya

Cameroon: Veye Njoya

Canada: Matthew Williams

Canada: Marguerite “Meg” Williams

China: Yao Wang

China: Chun-Yan Wang

Taiwan: Mei-ling Xiao

Taiwan: Wei-ting Xiao

Hong Kong: “Leon” Jia-long Wang/Chen

Hong Kong: “Linda” Ling Wang/Chen

Macau: Cheng-han Wang/Yu “Faustino”

Macau: Ching-yi Wang/Yu “Margarida”

Croatia: Domagoj Jurić

Croatia: Darvorka Jurić

Tibet: Kunga Sharwa

Tibet: Dechen Sharwa

Cuba: Máximo Machado

Cuba: Mariposa Machado

Cyprus: Neoklis Kyriakoa

Cyprus: Eleni Kyriakoa

TRNC: Epiktitos Kyriakoa

TRNC: Klelia Kyriakoa

Czechia: Hedvika Libuše Masaryková

Czechia: Jakub Tomáš Masaryk

Denmark: Mikkel Densen

Denmark: Mette Densen

Egypt: Gulfam Muhammad Hassan

Egypt: Gulshan Muhammad Hassan

England: Arthur Kirkland

England: Rose Kirkland

Sealand: Peter Kirkland

Sealand: Pearl Kirkland

Scotland: Allistor Kirkland

Scotland: Anabal Kirkland

Wales: Dylan Kirkland

Wales: Tegan Kirkland

Northern Ireland: Devon Kirkland

Northern Ireland: Devin Kirkland

Estonia: Eduard Tamm

Estonia: Evelin Tamm

Finland: Timo Väinämöïnen

Finland: “Tiina”/“Kristi” Kristiina Väinämöïnen

France: François Bonnefoy

France: Catherine Bonnefoy

Picardy: Bernard Bonnefoy

Picardy: Bernadette Bonnefoy

Germany: Ludwig Beilschmidt

Germany: Monika Beilschmidt

Prussia: Gilbert Beilschmidt

Prussia: Julchen Maria Beilschmidt

Greece: Herakles Karpossi

Greece: Thalia Karpossi

Hungary: Erzsébet Héderváry “Elizabeta”

Hungary: Benjámin Héderváry

Iceland: Emil Steilsson

Iceland: Elín Steilsdóttir

India: Neeraj Patel

India: Anju Patel

Indonesia: Susila Maharani

Indonesia: Kirana Maharani

Italy Romano: Lovino Vargas

Italy Romano: Chiara Vargas

Italy Veneziano: Feliciano Vargas

Italy Veneziano: Alice Daisy Vargas

Seborga: Sebastian Vargas

Seborga: Rosaria Vargas

Japan: Kiku Honda

Japan: Sakura Honda

Osaka: Kishō Honda

Osaka:

Buenosdillas

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

New York lived up to the moniker of "Wet Dream Tomato" because holy hell there was a lot of blood tonight. UFC 268 marked back to back pivotal cards for the promotion, as the promotions return to NYC came just one week after the UFC's giant card in the UAE. There were three huge debuts, arguably the greatest 3 round fight in UFC history, and two statements made by the reigning champions. So let's make some fights after the 2nd last main card of 2021.

SPEED ROUND

• Ode Osbourne did enough work to get the job done. Him and Jeff Molina would make a good fight.
• Melsik Baghdasaryan has promising fight IQ. He should face fellow high-rate finisher Kamuela Kirk
• Dustin Jacoby is 6-0-1 in his last 7. He put in a great performance coming in on 4 days notice. A fight with Ryan Spann makes sense.
• Chris Barnett is absolutely wild to watch. Make a fight against either Jarjis Danho, or Carlos Felipe.
• Ian Garry is the new Irish face of the UFC. Put him against Khabib's cousin Abubakar Nurmagomedov.
• Nassourdine Imavov is the premiere French middleweight for the UFC. Give him a test against the winner of Brad Tavares-Brendan Allen, or even Sean Strickland. Either one would be a damn banger.
• Welcome to the UFC, Chris Curtis. Maybe a fight with Deron Winn or Julian Marquez will be a good next step for the former PFL star.
• Bobby Green is a legitimate challenge at 155. He should fight for the rankings against #11 Diego Ferreira.
• Shane Burgos re-enters the win column. A fight with Alex Caceres makes sense.
• Marlon Vera has finally broken into the top 10. He should face the winner of Munhoz-Cruz.

THE BIG ONES

• Alex Pereira vs Andreas Michailidis

RESULT: Alex Pereira defeats Andreas Michailidis in Round 2 via TKO

Alex Pereira: Winner of Bruno Silva-Jordan Wright

One of the greatest kickboxers of all time has now arrived in the UFC. Former Glory Kickboxing champion Alex Pereira showed us exactly what he is capable of at this point in his MMA career with his surreal knockout power, and an overall striking skillset which is probably already top 5 in all of the middleweight division. At 34 years of age, Alex Pereira isn't going to be here for a long time, but rather a good time, and he'll probably get a big push up the 185 ladder. I think a fight with the winner of Bruno Silva-Jordan Wright is the appropriate next move for middleweight's newest star. Both Silva and Wright have lots of knockouts in their careers, and either man's skillset will be challengi

A panorama of Hong Kong captured during the negotiations for the Treaty of Hong Kong.

The Treaty of Hong Kong

With most major powers having taken sides, the primary options for Treaty negotiation were Brazil, the British Empire, Egypt, or Belgium, with the British colony of Hong Kong being chosen after some debate, and negotiations would begin on the 5th of May, 1899.

The Japanese diplomatic delegation consisted of former Education Minister Ryuichi; former Foreign Minister Aoki Shuzo; Foreign Minister Komura Jutaro; former Ambassador to the United States Takahira Kogoro; Parliamentarian Inukai Tsuyoshi; former Prime Minister Itagaki Taisuke; former Foreign Minister Kuroda Kiyotaka; and former Prime Minister Ito Hirobumi, as well as a handful of minor diplomatic aids. Though not ultranationalistic, the Japanese negotiators were all supporters of expansion, yet chosen for their mix of pragmatic realism and support for further modernizations.The Siamese delegation was led by Foreign Minister and Prince Devawongse Varoprakar, Interior Minister Damrong Rajanubhab, and General Surasakmontri himself, while Black Flag Army leaders Tang Jingsong and Liu Hongfu were permitted to attend alongside declared Vietnamese Emperor Ham Nghi, while not being granted full recognition as a combatant; similar rules were imposed upon Russian observer Nikolai Golitsyn, German observer Theodor von Holleben, and the Korean delegation led by King Gojong himself. General Emilio Aguinaldo, Foreign Minister Pedro Paterno, Speaker of the Assembly Felipe Buencamino, and President Arsenio Cruz-Herrerra. The delegation was highly controversial, among the other delegations due to Japan's initial refusal to negotiate with the Philippines, and among Filipinos for the role the United States played in the selection of Houston allies Paterno and Buencamino, with many fearing that the annexation of the Philippines might be pressed at the negotiation table.

The Spanish delegation was small, including Conservative Party Parliamentarians Antonio Maura and Fransisco Silvela, as well as Radical leader Nicolas Sameron and former Prime Minister Emilio Castelar, who died several weeks into the talks. Finally came the American delegation. Led by Secretary of State Shelby M. Cullom, it included former Colorado Senator Henry Teller, a pro-Houston Farmer-Laborite; form

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap