Felicity Worthington Puns

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

List of composers that ruined classical music

I hate and despise all of these individuals. They have subjected us to the worst cultural degeneracy. They are:

Petrus Abaelardus (1079 - 1142) Hildegard von Bingen (1098 - 1179) Pérotin Magister (c. 1155 - c. 1250) Léonin Magister (fl. c. 1150 - 1201?) Philippe Le Chancelier (c. 1165 - 1236) Walter von Der Vogelweide (c. 1170 - c. 1230) Alfonso X "El Sabio" (1221 - 1284) Philippe de Vitry (1291 - 1361) Pierre Des Molins (fl. c. 1375) Ghirardello da Firenza (fl. c. 1375) Lorenzo da Firenza (fl. c. 1375) Jacopo da Bologna (fl. c. 1375) Guillaume de Machaut (c. 1300 - 1377) Francesco Landini (1325 - 1397) Pycard (fl. c. 1390) Franchois Lebertoul (fl. c. 1400) Johannes Ciconia (c. 1335 - 1411) Early Renaissance - 15th Century

Leonel Power (? - 1445) Walter Frye (fl. c. 1450) John Dunstable (c. 1380 - 1453) Guillaume Dufay (1400 - 1474) Johannes Brassart (c. 1405 - c. 1450) John Browne (? - 1498) Johannes Ockeghem (1420 - 1497) Antoine Busnoys (1430 - 1492) Richard Hygons (c. 1435 - c. 1509) Josquin Des Préz (1440 - 1521) Alexander Agricola (c. 1446 - 1506) Edmund Turges (c. 1450 - ?) Walter Lambe (c. 1450 - after 1499) Robert Wylkynson (c. 1450 - 1515 or later) Heinrich Isaac (c. 1450 - 1517) Jacob Obrecht (1457 or 1458 - 1505) Jean Mouton (1459 - 1522) Gijon (fl. c. 1460 - 1500) Francisco de la Torre (fl. c. 1460 - 1500) Juan de Triana (fl. c. 1460 - 1500) Antoine Brumel (c. 1460 - c. 1515) Pierre de la Rue (1460 - 1518) Robert Fayrfax (1464 - 1521) Richard Davy (c. 1465 - c. 1507) William Cornysh (c. 1465 - 1523) Juan Del Encina (1468 - 1529) High Renaissance - 16th Century

Francisco de Penalosa (1470 - 1528) Luis de Narvaez (fl. c. 1540) Giovanni Battista Conforti (fl. c. 1550) Jean l'Heritier (1480 - 1552) Gasparo Alberti (c. 1480 - c. 1560) Robert Carver (1484 - 1568) Nicholas Ludford (1485 - 1557) Clement Janequin (1485 - 1558) Ludwig Senfl (c. 1486 - c. 1543) Costanzo Festa (c. 1490 - 1545) John Taverner (c. 1490 - 1545) Nicolas Gombert (c. 1490 - c. 1556) Adrian Willaert (c. 1490 - 1562) Francesco da Milano (1497 - 1543) Heliodoro de Paiva (c. 1500 - 1552) Philippe Verdelot (c. 1500 - before 1552) Christóbal de Morales (c. 1500 - 1553) Marco da l'Aquila (fl. c. 1505 - 1555) Jacques Arcadelt (1505 - 1568) Christopher Tye (c. 1505 - 1572) Thomas Tallis (c. 1505 - 1585) Bálint Bakfark (1507 - 1576) Johannes Lupi (1510 - 1539) Jacobus Clemens Non Papa (c. 1510 or 1515 - c. 1555 or 1556) Guillaume Morlaye (

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

At work, I have a workstation.

edit: cheers u/cheer_up_richard

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

Wows

I’ll show myself out

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

[Removed]

I hate and despise all of these individuals. They have subjected us to the worst cultural degeneracy. They are:

Petrus Abaelardus (1079 - 1142) Hildegard von Bingen (1098 - 1179) Pérotin Magister (c. 1155 - c. 1250) Léonin Magister (fl. c. 1150 - 1201?) Philippe Le Chancelier (c. 1165 - 1236) Walter von Der Vogelweide (c. 1170 - c. 1230) Alfonso X "El Sabio" (1221 - 1284) Philippe de Vitry (1291 - 1361) Pierre Des Molins (fl. c. 1375) Ghirardello da Firenza (fl. c. 1375) Lorenzo da Firenza (fl. c. 1375) Jacopo da Bologna (fl. c. 1375) Guillaume de Machaut (c. 1300 - 1377) Francesco Landini (1325 - 1397) Pycard (fl. c. 1390) Franchois Lebertoul (fl. c. 1400) Johannes Ciconia (c. 1335 - 1411) Early Renaissance - 15th Century

Leonel Power (? - 1445) Walter Frye (fl. c. 1450) John Dunstable (c. 1380 - 1453) Guillaume Dufay (1400 - 1474) Johannes Brassart (c. 1405 - c. 1450) John Browne (? - 1498) Johannes Ockeghem (1420 - 1497) Antoine Busnoys (1430 - 1492) Richard Hygons (c. 1435 - c. 1509) Josquin Des Préz (1440 - 1521) Alexander Agricola (c. 1446 - 1506) Edmund Turges (c. 1450 - ?) Walter Lambe (c. 1450 - after 1499) Robert Wylkynson (c. 1450 - 1515 or later) Heinrich Isaac (c. 1450 - 1517) Jacob Obrecht (1457 or 1458 - 1505) Jean Mouton (1459 - 1522) Gijon (fl. c. 1460 - 1500) Francisco de la Torre (fl. c. 1460 - 1500) Juan de Triana (fl. c. 1460 - 1500) Antoine Brumel (c. 1460 - c. 1515) Pierre de la Rue (1460 - 1518) Robert Fayrfax (1464 - 1521) Richard Davy (c. 1465 - c. 1507) William Cornysh (c. 1465 - 1523) Juan Del Encina (1468 - 1529) High Renaissance - 16th Century

Francisco de Penalosa (1470 - 1528) Luis de Narvaez (fl. c. 1540) Giovanni Battista Conforti (fl. c. 1550) Jean l'Heritier (1480 - 1552) Gasparo Alberti (c. 1480 - c. 1560) Robert Carver (1484 - 1568) Nicholas Ludford (1485 - 1557) Clement Janequin (1485 - 1558) Ludwig Senfl (c. 1486 - c. 1543) Costanzo Festa (c. 1490 - 1545) John Taverner (c. 1490 - 1545) Nicolas Gombert (c. 1490 - c. 1556) Adrian Willaert (c. 1490 - 1562) Francesco da Milano (1497 - 1543) Heliodoro de Paiva (c. 1500 - 1552) Philippe Verdelot (c. 1500 - before 1552) Christóbal de Morales (c. 1500 - 1553) Marco da l'Aquila (fl. c. 1505 - 1555) Jacques Arcadelt (1505 - 1568) Christopher Tye (c. 1505 - 1572) Thomas Tallis (c. 1505 - 1585) Bálint Bakfark (1507 - 1576) Johannes Lupi (1510 - 1539) Jacobus Clemens Non Papa (c. 1510 or 1515 - c. 1555 or 1556) Guillaume Morlaye (c. 1510 - c. 1558) Antonio de Cabezón (c. 1510