Caught my dog eating branches that has fallen from a tree

His poos were really sticky.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alii-b
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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My friend and I walked in a forest the other day and found a fallen tree.

I commented that the tree really branched out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/euler00000
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2017
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What did the lumberjack say to the mysterious fallen tree in the middle of the woods?

I'm stumped

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mustachereviews
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2017
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A tree had fallen in a cemetery we drove past...

"I hope no one was hurt"

Groan...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigWaz
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2014
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Isaac Newton is sitting under a tree one day...

... when something falls out of the tree and hits him on the head.

He picks up the fallen object and examines it, then declares, β€œWhy, some invisible force must have pulled this apple to the ground!”

A passerby overhears the famed scientist, then mutters, β€œFucking idiot doesn’t know one fruit from another,” before shouting, β€œHey! That’s a fig, Newton!”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
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One day, I heard my son screaming from the garden.

He had fallen out a tree and broken his arm. β€œDad! Dad!”, he yelled, β€œcall me an ambulance.”

I replied; β€œOkay son, you’re an ambulance!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/willers1080
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
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My dad sent me this text with no context. Have no idea why.

In heaven the Elephants are in charge of remembering everything, the monkeys are in charge of giving hugs, the hippos are in charge of retrieving things that have fallen in water, the mice are in charge of dancing on the petals of flowers, the cats are in charge of landing on their feet when they fall out of a tree and porcupines are in charge of keeping the monkeys away from the bananas. πŸ˜ƒ In Hell the Hippos are in charge of dancing on the flowers, the elephants are in charge of landing on their feet when they fall out of a tree, the cats are in charge of retrieving things that have fallen in water, monkeys are in charge of remembering everything, the mice are in charge of keeping the monkeys away from the bananas and the porcupines are in charge of giving hugs. 😫

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slatetheturtle
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2017
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