F Sharp Puns

So yesterday evening my wife got home from work with our Walmart grocery pickup in her car. As we are unloading it she notices that the bag that only has a pack of cheese in it is torn. She shows it to me and without skipping a beat I say, “huh. You must have gotten sharp cheddar.”

^(There's a whole other pun in the title involving some pencils, paper, and incredible artistry but anyways,)
The first knight unsheathes a magnificent sword, worthy to be called the next Excalibur

The second pulls out a some yellow cheese...

The first knight asks, how are you going to fight me with a block of cheese?
Are you going to throw it at me?

The second knight: No, it's extra sharp

She excitedly says yes, and the boy spends the entirety of the next day preparing for the big day.

The first thing he does to make it extra fancy is to rent a limousine for a day (yes, he is rich), but when he arrives at the rental center, he notices that many other people had the same idea. There was an enormous line that stretched out the building. Nevertheless, this boy was determined to make this night a special night, and waited for hours. Luckily, he succeeded in the end, and rented a shiny black limo. He was starting to get really excited.

After that, he goes to the tailor to pick up a brand new suit and tie to look as sharp as possible. But once again, the line for that wrapped around the block and forced the boy to wait another long hour. He sighed, but still waited in line, as he was quite persistent and knew it would be well worth it in the end. In the end, though, he got a perfect suit that fit him well. No wrinkles, no nothing; it was just pure handsomeness.

Then, the moment came. In his limousine, he once again drove up to his crush's house, well-dressed in the brand new suit he just bought. She came out looking stunning as well in an aqua dress that sparkled in the evening sunlight. Excited as ever, she leaped into the fancy limo and rode to prom with him, ready for the big night.

When they arrived, however, there was yet another long line into the ballroom, as many people needed to be accepted. It was quite a busy night. After half an hour of waiting, the couple finally made it through and began dancing. It was all going really well, and everyone was having quite a grand time.

A few hours later, they became thirsty and went to get a drink. Both him and his girlfriend were in the mood for fruit punch, but nobody else seemed to want it. When they entered the snack bar, they noticed more long lines of people wanting to get other snacks and drinks, but surprisingly... there was no punchline.

They played too many sharp notes....

C sharp or you'll B flat.

It has a very sharp flavor.

There was this guy, mid to late twenties, black hair, just average next door type of guy. Mind you, he's not a dad yet. He's a honest worker who worked his way up in his job and makes a decent living for a man of his age. When he was a kid he was not extremely sharp and people would make fun of his stupidity. But he didn't care about that. He gave all he could and went abroad to get the best education from the best university of his time. He graduated top of the class. The he came back to his home town, got a job and fell in love with a beautiful young girl. They were about to get married but unfortunately for some reason god went "hmmm he's doing good for someone his age, better have small chat with him" and took him and he dropped dead just days before his wedding day. The bride who was about to get married to that man was absolutely devasted. She was so in love but unfortunately that didn't end well. She shut herself off from the world and cried every night. Lucky, for her the man left all he earned to be passed on to her if he happened to pass away before her. Then after a year of grieving the girl pulled herself out of her sadness and seclusion and bought a nice house for herself and settled there. But she never got married or made love The on one nice evening the women decided to go to the nearest pub and get some social interaction. She saw this young lad drinking booze all by himself and noticed he kinda looked sad. The lady decided to talk to that guy because she knew how miserable sadness can be. So she initiated a convo with that young lad. The lad took notice of the effort and kind heart of the lady and decided to share his life story, how he grew up in farm house and how he loved farming and all. He was rather peculiar about tractors and such farm equipments, spoke like someone describing about their love of their life. The lady noticed his love for his profession and inquired more. He went on to talk about tractors and all and how he dreamt of riding one when he was a kid and everything. He proceeded to tell how a few years ago a terrible accident made him hate the very tractors he loved as a kid. For someone who inquired more, the lady got tired of hearing about farm equipments and decided to call her day off and told the guy she's going to head back to her house. It was late night about half past 10 and so the lad offered to walk her home. The lady and the lad started to walk down the sub urbs, where the houses were distant and people occup

Whenever I see a sharp, I wish it could just be flat

You're looking sharp today!

I must have sharp eyes.

They all startled "what happened?" I reply "it's Sharp!"

They murmured something and left the room...

Me: Dr dr, i always take s poo at 8:00am sharp, every morning,!

Dr: sorry I don't see how that's a problem.

Me: I wake up at 9:00am...

If you don’t C-sharp, you’ll be B-flat

It’s always looking sharp!

I can’t C sharp, but I am the dad of A minor, That boy is nothing but treble.

Everyone had a hard time navigating those sharp V-turns.

things were always sharp and to the point

I turned to her and said 'damn that is some sharp cheddar!'

Because it was extra sharp.

it wasn't really sharp of him

My girlfriend and I opened a new pack of pre-sliced cheese. As we’re munching, I hold my mouth in pain and say “Ow!” She asked what was wrong and I said, “Well no wonder my mouth hurts, the package says this is extra sharp cheddar.” She was not amused

is with a very very sharp knife.

He stabbed me with it and all I could think was damn, that cheddar is sharp.

At work, Gary has to cut holes in sheet metal and has to use a de-burring hook to remove the sharp edges of the cutout. He always catches someone with their guard down and ask to borrow their heater. Gary works inside in a warm clean building, so it’s an odd request.

Their head tilts sideways like a confused dog, and they say puzzled “Heater?”.

Gary replies, “Yeah, your de-BUrRRrRR-ing tool” as he crosses his arms and shivers.

”Careful, that tv is SHARP!” since it was a sharp branded TV

It was way too sharp for me to handle.

Because he wanted to look sharp.

In the kitchen this morning, he tells me: "Dad, you know the Spartans were really fierce, and they'd throw away old weapons. They thought that if it wasn't sharp, it didn't have a point."

I think it has a sharp design.

I thought it was really sharp, but I told my friends, and it just fell flat.

It was always too sharp for my taste.

Damn, that was a sharp moment.

He replied, "because I wanted to look sharp".

Because it would "B-Sharp"

Lookin sharp

They’re always a bit sharp.

I told him “be careful, it’s sharp!”

Airport Security: Do you have anything sharp on you?

Dad: Yes, my brain.

He couldn’t see sharp.

Sharp cheddar.

And when I handed it to her I said, “Be careful, this cheese is extra sharp.”

Especially if it's extra sharp

Girl in class: This is stupid

Teacher: that was mean

Girl: I'm very blunt

Teacher: well you're not very sharp

But if you do, make sure it's extra sharp.

It was extra sharp.

I didn't realize it was Extra Sharp.

It's sharp