A list of puns related to "Eye Vision"
Trying to stay optometristic about it
2020
Everybody
I know it's hard to believe, but I saw it with my own two eyes.
Carrots maybe good for your eyes, but booze will double your vision
Then Iβll see what happens
It didnβt help.
It's the first time they'll see 2020.
I canβt wait to see them all
Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevorβs love for tractors.
Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.
Trevorsβs degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.
The hedges in Trevorβs front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.
Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.
Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasnβt keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.
One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.
Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.
βWellβ said Jeff, βAs Iβm sure you know the convention comes to town laterβ.
The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.
βYes of courseβ replied Trevor
... keep reading on reddit β‘It's called adult supervision.
No eyeβd deer.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still, no eyeβd deer.
What do you call a deer with 20/20 vision? Now thatβs a good eyeβd deer!
I was working a pre-assessment with an older guy before his exam and while I was checking his vision he stops and says;
βI was at the eye doctor the other day and I told the doc, βhey man, why is it that everywhere I look, all I see is penises?β The doctor told me, βwell, thatβs because youβre cock-eyed.ββ
I stopped what I was doing and laughed pretty hard, pretty loud, and shook the guys hand and told him he was hired.
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
So the other day I was talking with a mother with twin one year olds. She was saying
"Sometimes I wonder if he is even watching the kids?"
I replied "Of course he is, dads have great vision! Our hindsight is 20/20!"
Cue eye roll laugh...
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