I recently wrote a paper about erotic photography of plants
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︎ Feb 27 2021
I wondered why the ball kept getting bigger
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︎ May 05 2021
What do you do with the rhinoceros with 3 balls?
Walk him and pitch to the elephant.
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︎ May 08 2021
What's the difference between a stolen miniature diorama for your personal library and an incredibly surprising but cliched erotic fantasy about Peregrin of the shire?
One is a shelf insert book nook for fiction fans that you took and the other is a self-insert fan fiction took book that got you shook.
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︎ Jan 30 2021
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︎ Mar 24 2021
What do you think would be different if men peed from their balls instead of their penis?
For starters, peanuts wouldn't have been named peanuts
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︎ May 02 2021
What do you call balls that are delicious?
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︎ Apr 13 2021
Wife: "What's this soccer ball doing in the flower bed?"
Me: "It's just looking round"
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︎ May 08 2021
Why do mice have such small balls?
Because not many mice can dance.
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︎ May 08 2021
During a soccer game, one of the players hit a bird with the ball
The Referee said it was a Fowl.
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︎ May 04 2021
The umpire at my son's baseball game kept wandering around the field and was eventually knocked out by a stray ball.
It was the fall of the roamin' umpire.
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︎ May 03 2021
Why did the new employee sew one ball in the groin area of each Elmo doll?
She was told to give them all one test tickle
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︎ Apr 29 2021
I never understood why people say that a tennis ball hurts so bad.
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︎ Apr 02 2021
I launched the bowling ball down the lane and got a strike.
I've since been banned from the swimming club.
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︎ Mar 01 2021
A friend told me that the ball drop was a minute late
The ball was dropped at the ball drop.
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︎ Jan 01 2021
What do you do when an elephant has three balls?
Walk him, then pitch to the rhino. Heβs a sucker for a curveball.
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︎ Mar 17 2021
I went to an exotic petting zoo with Boy George. He wasn't at all impressed with their limited range of animals.
He started pointing them out to me.
"Llama, llama, llama, llama, llama, chameleon."
++++++++++++++++++
I thought of this today while driving and smacked my wheel as I giggled. My girlfriend stared at me, bemused and confused.
I like it. I'm proud of myself.
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︎ Sep 19 2020
What do you call an alien with 3 balls ?
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︎ Mar 06 2021
What do you call an exotic Italian supercar made entirely of wood?
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︎ Dec 02 2020
What's blue and not very heavy?
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︎ Apr 09 2021
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, theyβve been stripped of their source of income.
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︎ Nov 05 2020
So proud of my 6 year old. While teaching her to hit a softball, I told her to βsquare up on the ballβ
She replied βthe ball is round daddyβ (with a straight face) So I tell her βno, what I mean is, get mad! I want you to hit the ball really hard like if you were mad at it!β
She grabs the ball, stares right at it and says βIβM REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, BALL!β Then throws it right back at me.
Proud dad moment.
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︎ Jun 23 2020
Never date a tennis player
Love means nothing to them
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︎ Feb 04 2021
It turns out the capitol rioter did NOT accidentally kill himself with a taser to the balls and the story was just made up to disrespect him...
I don't think anyone is shocked.
(Source: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/capitol-riot-taser-death)
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︎ Jan 11 2021
I asked my dog Regina why she wouldnβt go and get the ball I threw...
She said, βQuit trying to make βfetchβ happen.β
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︎ Jan 16 2021
My wife said she's gonna leave me if I don't change and stop reading erotic novels
I decided to turn over a new leaf
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︎ Sep 29 2020
What can you attach to a ball, a harp, or a cart to make something completely different?
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︎ Oct 25 2020
My friend rolled the ball down the lane 10 times, knocking over all the pins each time!
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︎ Jan 27 2021
Tennis ball machine for sale. Only $100.
Had it over a year now. Has served me well.
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︎ Jan 02 2021
Another wooden ball
Would it kill the avocado makers to put in a decoder ring or a tin soldier every once in a while?
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︎ Jan 26 2021
I threw a ball for my dog yesterday.
Well, it was his birthday and he looks good in a dinner suit.
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︎ Dec 05 2020
My wife says she's divorcing me because of my obsession with television dramas.
But will she leave me ?
Find out next week.
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︎ Jan 15 2021
Donald Trump should drop the ball in Times Square on New Years Eve
He certainly has plenty of experience
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︎ Dec 31 2020
I've invented a new golf ball that will automatically go into the hole if it gets within 4 inches...
DO NOT carry them in your back pocket.
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︎ Nov 05 2020
Thatβs a sus-y meat-a-ball. ππΌππΌ
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︎ Oct 08 2020
The Hammer Time dance should be considered a ball room dance.
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︎ Nov 25 2020
When my boys were playing ball, they accused me of spraying the ball with the watering hose. I didn't spray it.
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︎ Dec 29 2020
Hey, deer balls just lowered in price.
Now theyβre under a buck.
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︎ Dec 11 2020
You know how they throw the ball into the crowd after they win the game?
Apparently, that's not allowed in bowling. I know that now.
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︎ Dec 09 2020
My wife tried to order an exotic snake online, but when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves...
Looks like the boa cons tricked her...
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︎ May 13 2020
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger and bigger
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︎ Apr 18 2021
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger
π︎ 2
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︎ Feb 12 2021
What do you do with an elephant with three balls?
You walk him, and pitch to the rhino
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︎ Jan 23 2021
I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger
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︎ Feb 13 2021
I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger
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︎ Nov 27 2020
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
π︎ 10k
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︎ Dec 14 2020
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