My friend told me he eats potatoes at breakfast every morning. I said...
..."that's one way to starch yer day."
I drive my kids to school every morning.
One day, I'll have something to chauffeur it.
What does the German baker say to his bread every morning?
Every morning on my way to work, I slip on the frozen newspaper left outside my front door.
I must have fallen on some hard Times.
Every morning I sit on the toilet, straining from constipation, while I play Wordle.
At least I have regular vowel movements.
I can’t stop myself from eating every morning.
What do you call the same shit every morning?
Every morning I announce loudly to my family I’m going jogging, but then don’t go.
Every morning, I always stack my pancakes, bacon, eggs and biscuits on top of each other….
So I can have a balanced breakfast.
My Wife says to me this morning. Our new neighbor kisses his wife every day when he leaves for work, why don't you do that..?!!
..because I hardly know her.
I like to cut the hedge every year on Christmas morning and bring them to the table when we eat.
That way we can have Christmas dinner with all the trimmings.
Every morning when I leave the house for work, I get hit by the same bike. Every morning!
Every morning after waking up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of junk to IKEA.
Ever since the pandemic started, every morning I proudly announce to my family that I’m going for a jog and then I don’t...
It’s my longest running joke of the year so far...
I eat Greek yogurt every morning
It appears I am a man of culture.
When we were kids, my brothers and I would race to put our shoes on every morning.
It always ended in a tie.
Every day I set my clock to wake me up the next morning.
What do truck drivers eat for breakfast every morning?
Every morning, I like to stand in front of a mirror and think about all the good things I've done.
It's just a moment of reflection.
Every morning, my neighbour gets on his tractor and starts yelling “The end is near!”
I hate living next to Farmer Geddon.
Being able to wake up every morning
Has been a real eye opener for me
Every morning, I wake up to find someone has dumped a box of play doh in front of my door.
I don’t know what to make of it.
I am trying to get in shape by running on my treadmill every morning
But I dont feel like I'm getting anywhere
I Rain every morning 🏃♂️
i have a pee every morning at 7
problem is i don't wake up until 7:15
Every morning when I am done getting my 2 year old ready for school I call her a Canadian potato chip.
Because she’s all dressed.
Every morning, I find that somebody has quietly put a bunch of celery on my front door step.
I think I’m being stalked.
Every morning I plan on making pancakes.
My name is Aaron. My son's name is Aaron too. Every morning, we go for a jog together.
When my wife asks where we went, I tell her we were just running Aarons.
My wife and I crack each other's backs every morning
What does Keanu Reeves do first thing every morning?
Every morning I announce loudly to my family that I'm going jogging, but then don't go.
Every morning I leave my house and get hit by a bicycle,
Every morning I announce to my family that I'm going jogging, but then I don't go.
Every morning on the way to work, I get hit by the same bike. Every morning!
Every morning I announce loudly to my family that I’m going jogging, but then don’t go.
Every morning after waking up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of junk to IKEA.
Every morning after waking up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of junk to IKEA.
Because of the covid-19 lockdowns, every morning for the past year, I announce proudly to my family that I’m going for a jog… and then I don’t.
It’s my longest running joke of the year.
As a programmer, waking up is the 0th thing I do every morning
Every morning after I wake up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of junk to Ikea.
Every morning after waking up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of junk to IKEA.
Every morning for the past six months, I announce loudly to my family that I’m going for a jog, and then I don’t.
It’s my longest running joke of this year.
Every morning after I get out of the house, a bike comes out of nowhere and runs me over.
Every morning after I wake up, I find that someone has dumped a bunch of LEGO on my front porch.
I don’t know what to make of it.
Every morning, my neighbour gets on his tractor and starts yelling, “Repent! The End is nigh!”
I hate living next to Farmer Geddon.
Every single morning I get hit by the same bike...
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
