Eugene Burdick Puns

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Hi guys, so I came across u/CyrusNavarre's post about a Battle Royale between U.S. Senators here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/thecampaigntrail/comments/qmbrly/us_senate_battle_royale_announcement/

I thought it was a great idea, so I compiled a list of all of the most popular or distinguished politicians in every state. I limited myself to 4 of each person. For politicians whose roles were unknown, I just chose those who had been Senate Majority/Minority Leader for a decent amount of time or had a great amount of time in the Senate. Without further ado:

Fictional Senate Races

Alabama

George Wallace (D) vs John Sparkman (D) vs William R. King (D) vs Oscar Underwood (D)

Jeff Sessions (R) vs Condoleezza Rice (R) vs Richard Shelby (R) vs Tommy Tuberville (R)

Alaska

William A. Egan (D) vs Tony Knowles (D) vs Mike Gravel (D) vs Ernest Gruening (D)

Sarah Palin (R) vs Lisa Murkowski (R) vs Frank Murkowski (R) vs Sean Parnell (R)

Arizona

Mo Udall (D) vs Krysten Sinema (D) vs Ernest McFarland (D) vs Bruce Babbitt (D)

Barry Goldwater (R) vs John McCain (R) vs Evan Mecham (R) vs John Kyl (R)

Arkansas

Bill Clinton (D) vs Orval Faubus (D) vs Joseph Robinson (D) vs Wesley Clark (D)

Mike Huckabee (R) vs Tom Cotton (R) vs Winthrop Rockefeller (R) vs Asa Hutchison (R)

California

Pat Brown (D) vs Jerry Brown (D) vs Barbara Boxer (D) vs Kamala Harris (D)

Richard Nixon (R) vs Ronald Reagan (R) vs Earl Warren (R) vs John Fremont (R)

Colorado

Gary Hart (D) vs John Hickenlooper (D) vs Mark Udall (D) vs Richard Lamm (D)

Henry M. Teller (R) vs Bill Owens (R) vs John Arthur Love (R) vs Gordon Allott (R)

Connecticut

Joe Liebermann (D) vs Abraham Ribicoff (D) vs Chris Dodd (D) vs Thomas Dodd (D)

Prescott Bush (R) vs Lowell Weicker (R) vs William A. Purtell (R) vs Raymond E. Baldwin (R)

Delaware

Joe Biden (D) vs James A. Bayard Jr (D) vs Thomas F. Bayard (D) vs Thomas F. Bayard Jr (D)

Pete Du Pont (R) vs J. Caleb Boggs (R) vs John J. Williams (R) vs William Roth (R)

Florida

Reubin Askew (D) vs Bob Graham (D) vs George Smathers (D) vs Claude Pepper (D)

Rick Scott (R) vs Marco Rubio (R) vs Jeb Bush (R) vs Ron DeSantis (R)

Georgia

Jimmy Carter (D) vs Stacey Abrams (D) vs Sam Nunn (D) vs Richard Russell Jr (D)

Brian Kemp (R) vs David Perdue (R) vs Sonny Perdue (R) vs Newt Gingrich (R)

Hawaii

Daniel Inouye (D) vs Tulsi Gabbard (D) vs Spark

Taken from the localisation file "TNO_USA_senator_names_l_english.yml"

Interesting things I observed:

1. Most states have a total of 12 possible senators, 2 for each party (RD-R, RD-D, NPP-L, NPP-C, NPP-FR, NPP-Y). But since some possible senators can become presidents (e.g. Gus Hall) or join a president’s cabinet (e.g. Russell B. Long), there are 5 states who have 14 possible senators (Arizona, Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, and Mississippi) and 18 states with 13 possible senators (Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Louisiana, Missouri, Nebraska, New Jersey, New York, Oklahoma, Oregon, South Carolina, South Dakota, Texas, Utah, and Washington).

2. This may or may not be a bug, but following senators appear multiples times:

• Lement Harris – possible NPP (L) senator for both Georgia and South Dakota
• Claude Lightfoot – possible NPP (L) senator for both Arkansas and Kentucky
• Delmer Berg – possible NPP (L) senator for both Arizona and California
• Edwin Westphal – possible NPP (Y) senator for both Alabama and Kansas
• Eustace Mullins – possible NPP (Y) senator for both New York and Virginia
• James Abourezk – possible senator for South Dakota for both the Republican and Democratic parties
• Cecil Andrus – possible senator for Idaho for both the Republican and NPP (C) parties

Clearly, the National Progressive Party has mastered the art of cloning.

3. The longest name is “Benjamin Franklin Dillingham II,” a possible NPP (FR) senator from Hawaii; the most common first name is “John” (41 instances), followed by James (22 instances) and “Charles” (14).

4. There are 22 “Jr.”s, 3 “Sr.”s, 3 “II”s, 2 “III”s, and 1 “IV.”

5. 3 senators have nicknames: Bolesław ‘Bill’ Gebert (Oregon, NPP-L), O. ‘Abe’ Murdock Jr. (Utah, RD-R), and W. A. ‘Tough Tony’ Boyle (Montana, NPP-C).

EDIT: 6) Just noticed the awesome father-son combo of Prescott “The Business Plot” Bush as RD-R from Connecticut and George H. W. “Treason And War Crimes” Bush as RD-D from Texas.

Anyway, on to the list of names:

National Progressive

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

I am currenlty reading 2034: A Novel of the Next World War by Elliot Ackerman and James G. Stavridis and it is an entertaining read but not as good as (at least for me) Tom Clancy's at the time impressive Red Storm Rising.

Also I have pending to read Ghost Fleet by P. W. Singer and August Cole and last year I have read the recommended Fail-Safe by Eugene Burdick and Harvey Wheeler.

I know that these are political fiction thriller novels but I think that they can also be considered science fiction since fortunately this has not happened. So, can you recommend more novels that deal with the theme of III World War?

It should be noted that over time the adversary has changed, from the traditional USSR/Russia to China. And please, I don't mean post-WWIII apocalyptic novels which is a different sub-genre.

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

[Removed]